Wow! Today looks like it's shaping up to be a busy day for ministering to strumpets looking to get Saved©! In addition to our Ms. Sunshine seeking help, I've also received an email from a catlick slut interested in not being a whore anymore. I feel like Priscilla must have felt when she and Aquila corrected the faith of Apollos!
"And a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man, and mighty in the scriptures, came to Ephesus. This man was instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in the spirit, he spake and taught diligently the things of the Lord, knowing only the baptism of John. And he began to speak boldly in the synagogue: whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly." Acts 18:24-26
Now, here is the email I received today:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by some harlot
dear lycia,
just because i'm a girl and go to a catholic school, people think i'm some kind of slut! its a stereotype, people!! what can i do to make people stop thinking i'm a whore? its embarrassing when i go on a date and people assume theyre going to get some! thanks!
- Jezebel Hussy*
*name has been changed to protect the slut's privacy
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Hi Jezebel! I'm sure glad you want to stop being a slut, but unfortunately, you absolutely cannot do so unless you do one thing first; leave the papacy! Only
after you leave the catlick cult can you begin on your journey to stop being a hellbound harlot!
Perhaps you aren't aware of this, but in addition to the papacy's many other heresies, they have the dubious distinction of being the world's oldest, and largest, sex cult. When they aren't kowtowing before Mary, their queen of heaven, the papists indulge in vile activities such as worshiping rectums and tallywhackers. The leaders of the papacy, being possessed of an animal-like cunning, realized there was a problem with training all of their men to be priests, and all of their priests to be homer pedophiles. How would they make more papists? So the pope, in his infernal brilliancy, set out to create an educational institution that is guaranteed to turn any innocent little girl entering it to leave an insatiable, tallywhacker-crazed slattern.
I've had the help of True Christian™ men in gathering indisputable, photographic evidence of this. Children, women, and the elderly may want to turn away now.
Now, when a little catlick girl enters a parochial school, the nuns make it their first order of business to teach her how to read. This, while being a dangerously liberal idea, isn't sinful in of itself, but the reading material they give them practically ensures that those girls won't make it out of there with their virtue intact.
Of course, it
certainly doesn't help that the nuns teaching them are all vile temptresses, and think sapphic displays are "educational".
Is it any wonder that catlicks aren't encouraged to read the Bible? They might run into verses like these!
"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet." Romans 1:26-27
"Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not. Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.
And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works." Revelation 2:20-23
Disgusting! Just thinking about it makes me want to run into my prayer closet!
So, I would exhort any catlick harlots who wish to repent of their sins to throw out your
rosaries, close your legs, accept Jesus and sin no more! Only after you resist the vile advances of the "queen of heaven" can you begin by following my guide carefully, beginning with reading the KJV Bible and ending with Salvation©!
Now, I'm off to the prayer closet to purge these vile images from my head. I'll just leave my favorite scripture here for now:
"I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." Luke 15:7