[Petal]

this joke not christian, but it clean as cold water can get it anyways

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film like substance on his plate and he questioned, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied: "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."

Later on that afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yokes. So he asked again, "Grandfather, are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up from his hamburger, grandfather says: "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore!"

Still later on that afternoon, he decided to get dinner in a nearby town. Before leaving, he had to urinate but his Grandfather's dog was in his way, drinking out of the toilet. "Grandfather," the man called out, "Your dog won't let me take a leak!"

From the living room, grandfather called out: "Coldwater, get your ass out of the bathroom!"

nows, i got this here next joke in my emails i thinks Satan sent it to me! an it not christian an it not clean, but it need to be posteds so that it can be rebuked in the name of lord Jesus

The old man, living in a nursing home, approached the nurses station with an extremely sad expression on his face.

The nurse ask why he appeared so sad.

His reply was, "My private part died today."

The nurse offered her condolences in an attempt to cheer him up and the day proceeded without incidence.

The next morning, the old man again approached the nurse's station, only his robe was splayed and his private part fully exposed.

The nurse was shocked and told him his private part was showing.

He replied, "I told you yesterday my private part died."

She replied, "Yes, I remember that but it is hanging out of your pajamas today."

He said, "Today's the viewing."