[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Brother White, thank you for dragging this thread back on topic. In the spirit of research, I spent some hours on the Grindr and various gaysexual chat boards inquiring after the penis. The men were suprizingly willing to report their size, often supplying me with photographic evidence from multiple different perspectives.

In summary, I found in a sample of 562 gay men that the average homosexual claims to have an organ at least 9 inches long. This is vastly larger than the average, by more than 2 standard deviations, or 95% of the population. To make the numbers work this means all men with an organ of 9 inches (or larger) must be homosexual. This hard data supports the hypothesis.

I subsequently tried the same experimental approach on a popular heterosexual website but was unable to obtain a large sample size. Perhaps the ladies could assist with data collection, or have already received this information unsolicited. If so, what is the average organ length reported by heterosexual men?