Thread: Casting Lots: How to Discern God’s Will
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Default Re: Casting Lots: How to Discern God’s Will - 02-27-2014, 10:35 PM
I once cast lots to determine if a 5 dollar bill missing from my wallet was taken by my youngest daughter. Sure enough, the stones proved her guilty. She balked when I explained what she must do to spare herself an eternity in hellfire (Matthew 18:8), so I, with much love, put her in restraints and removed the offending hand with a hack saw. I still have yet to recieve thanks from her, but I am a patient man. I feel slight guilt for providing her future husband with an inefficient dishwasher, though. Maybe I will offer him 20% off on the purchase price when the time comes.

After I saved my daughter's soul (if she has one, only God knows), I discovered that satan had sneakily placed the $5 back in my wallet, hidden behind one of my credit cards, so as to try and shake my faith in Christ's divine method of ferreting out sinners. He is a sly one, that devil, but not to be taken seriously.
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