[Santa Claus]

Originally Posted by Isabella White

A-ha! This is just as I have suspected all along, dear Brother White! And how I do thank you for a confirmation that proves my suspicions. This Satan Claus is up to no good, and I hope that our beloved Congress will act quickly to banish him, and to prevent him from ever entering the blessed . Why, over in England, he's been pulling some pranks there, too, as you shall below, and we cannot take a chance that he will do the same here:

"Britain’s children have been told to leave out a substantial meal for Santa on Christmas Eve because a measly mince pie flouts the rules."

https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/...ign=Santa+meal

Simply, there is no end to his treachery and deceit, and the sooner that our Congress -- and our glorious President Trump -- refuse him entry, then the better we shall be! Merry mas!

Ho-ho-ho Bella-lass. That is fake news. I'm more than satisfied with a tiny turkey or a cassowary drumstick (which will soon become abundant in your neighborhood). If you knew how much energy superspeed takes (we're talking about axion-level accelerations and quantum tunneling) you'd understand that a man's gotta eat.
But, of course I'll do something about that unfortunate and not too comely double chin of yours (OK, quadruple, but who's countin'). Because of the cassowaries, quite a few of the plastics melted in the resulting fire (there's now a plastic patch not only on the Pacific but under the North Pole Ice, I'm sorry to admit), but I've located a storehouse with vintage stuff that never got delivered so I have plenty of stock to satisfy the needs of the old and withered.



Just pull the cords and use the device whenever you leave your house and no-one can tell! Howdy-Ho!