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How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
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Mary Etheldreda
Gushing for Jesus
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
07-24-2018, 02:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Salmon_GOD
Thank you for telling me about the word of God
You're welcome, dear! Are you ready to be born again and follow Christ and join us praising His Holy Name forever and ever and ever?!?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
Mary Etheldreda
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