[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Social Construct

[M]y department is made up of 27 Chinese guys, 2 Chinese women, an Eh'rab and me (186 freckles last count). All the heads are Chinese. Most of the senior staff are Chinese. All the heads of neighboring departments are Chinese. To do my part for diversity I'll try to find a Chinese person to replace me.

First off, this individual needs to stop oppressing the minorities in his workplace - I know it's in his nature, but stop it. Second, I think I've found his replacement. Two in fact, available very cheaply. Just don't read their CVs or look at their work very closely (shouldn't be a problem for his diverse bosses).

Nobel Prize-winning scientist Frances Arnold retracts paper

American scientist Frances Arnold, who won the Nobel Prize for chemistry, has retracted her latest paper.
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It has been retracted because the results were not reproducible, and the authors found data missing from a lab notebook.
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Science published a note outlining why it would be retracting the paper, which Ms Arnold co-authored with Inha Cho and Zhi-Jun Jia.
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"It is painful to admit, but important to do so. I apologize to all. I was a bit busy when this was submitted, and did not do my job well."

Being "a bit busy" is of course academic slang for drinking latte in the Faculty Club while 27 imported sweat laborers churn out fine science in the basement. Who cares about quality, feel the quantity! Mmmm. Truly shocking that the work was irreproducible [incidentally this word should be on the American language test]. But don't fret - it was just a freak one-off random occurrence that could only happen once, and if it happened more than once each case is unique and different and can't be compared.