So it turns out after western geniuses spent an absurd amount of time and money coming up high-tech pipe-dream solutions, and spent an absurd amount of political capital on annoying bans and pressure campaigns, someone came up with a solution:
It's called a "net".
But it doesn't employ academics, big tech, activists, or lawyers/politicians, so don't expect it to ever go into use.
I imagine if
the powers that be had any brains, they would just take a bunch of fishing drag-nets, put a line of them at whatever bridge is furthest downstream on the 10 rivers that deliver 90% of the problem, and build 20 plastic recycling plants, one on either side of each river. Maybe the nets could move like a conveyor belt - sort of like this:
Think of it as a replacement for garbage trucks, which burn lots of gas as they pick up plastic for recycling. Just toss your recycling in the river, and it will be delivered with zero emissions.
Fund the thing with a tiny tax on plastic straws, if we really do each use 10 straws daily as they claim, it will fund itself very quickly.
Of course, if
the powers that be had any brains, they would know that none of this matters because the world's seas are about to be turned into blood: Rev 8:8 Rev 16:3, .