There are two main arguments against war: first, it costs a lot of money. Secondly, it kills people. Some people say the priority is reversed, but let's not quibble right now.
The point is that war costs blood and treasure. It is bad both ethically and financially. But what if there was a way to solve both problems at once? What if, instead of paying the huge financial cost to kill people, we spend a smaller amount of money to encourage Russian soldiers and skilled workers to defect to the West?
During the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan we killed about
~90,000 enemy combatants for a price tag of
$8,000,000,000,000. That's
88 million bucks each, and those guys didn't even have hypersonic missiles.
Surely it would cost less than
$88,000,000 to convince a Russian to emigrate from
snowy Siberia to
sunny California. So why not do it?
I was wavering on this issue for a while, so I picked up my Bible and discovered why not:
Because
God hates this idea! 5 Reasons why:
1. Russian women are ravishing temptresses.
The most valuable people in Putin's war machine are not his front-line conscripts, but his skilled factory workers, the ones who do the fiddly work of putting together guided missiles and radar gizmos. A lot of these workers are female. Very, very female:
Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things. - Proverbs 23:33
If we allow these women in, expect distracted coworkers and crippling absenteeism as workplace washrooms stalls are filled with furious onanism.
Russian immigrants will covert us to weird Asian customs (see reason
#4). One of their customs involves displaying that "
the carpet matches the drapes" by wearing hats that match their pubic hair:
Expect even less marriage and family formation, as non-Russian women will look ugly and unlovable in comparison. Formerly straight women will discover they are lesbians.
Expect distracted drivers to crash. Which brings us to:
2. Russians are terrible drivers and will cause lots of traffic jams.
You know what they say about Asian drivers? Russians can't drive from one city to the next without causing a 40-mile long pile-up. It has something to do with them being reliant on trains to get anything done, but America has few rail lines and
will never build any more.
3. You will end up eating borsht, whatever that is.
God tells us that foreign temptresses cause cultural change:
But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;
Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. -1st Kings 11:1-2
I don't know what borsht is, but it's Asian so expect it to have bats or something in it. It might even start a new disease, perhaps a real one this time.
Think of her braids as the noose around the neck of America:
4. Eastern European immigrants tend to be become lukewarm R.I.N.O. cuckservatives
Take a look at Austrian-born Arnold Swartznagger. As we've seen in his movies, he's perfectly capable of fighting his way to Moscow and punching out Putin himself, but, being a wimpy R.I.N.O. cuckservative, he has decided to deal with the Russians by...Talking to them:
Why not sing "
Kumbaya" while you're at it?!? If we allow more of these half-mongoloids into our country, our politics will have more of this.
So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. - Revelation 3:16
5. Russians are heavy smokers and drinkers, and that's a fire hazard.
Here's some footage from the morning of last New Year's Day, after countless drunken Russians passed out drunk with lit cigarettes in their hands:
(Ignore the title, that's just typical FAKE NEWS).