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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
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Jesus My Message to the Youths - 05-19-2019, 04:54 PM

The junior pastor at my church was ill this morning (no one said what sin he committed to get sick) so I was asked to fill in for him as youth pastor. While the adults enjoy a soul-feeding from the senior pastor in the main sanctuary, the youths gather in an auditorium in the church basement for worship and praise followed by a snack and then a short message.


I chose today to be timely and speak on the topic of Ownership of the Uterus.


I recounted the Genesis story of creation to point out that GOD made us and therefore GOD owns us. He owns our pinkies, our toes, our hair, and our clothes. He owns our kidneys and our tonsils, our armpits and our pancreas. Most importantly, He owns our hearts. We should, therefore, give them back to Him every day in all we say and do. I briefly mentioned the sin of Onan and urged the boys to give Jesus their private parts. Then I gently directed this to the young ladies: JESUS OWNS YOUR UTERUS! I informed them that God would frown on them if they became non-virtuous ho's, giving their uteri to every boy in Bay Ridge. In no uncertain terms I told them that first they belong to God. 2nd, they belong to their husband and it's HIS choice when and how many times they become pregnant by their lawfully wedded husband, the master of the house.


A couple of the girls got up and left and said they would complain to the pastor, but I said WHO CAN ARGUE WITH GOD? (Romans 9:20) Abraham tried it. Moses tried it. Even the songster David tried it, but GOD WINS IN ALL CASES.


I told them of the evils of abortion, reminding them of the commandment THOU SHALT NOT KILL. I showed them pictures of actual abortions and a short video of a woman's 13th abortion which she actually laughs in and says "Just another day at the clinic." What? Just another stepping stone on her pathway to HELL


Some of the parents came up to me after church and thanked me, while others were telling me how inappropriate it was to delve into such topics. I have a meeting with the senior pastor tomorrow and I bet he wants to ask me to be the youth minister from now on instead of waiting on my Divinity degree.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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