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If you masturbate it means you're gay...
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Mary Etheldreda
Gushing for Jesus
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
08-14-2018, 07:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bchas77
So I have to stand up in front of the church and tell all my secret sins now?
I guess now this forum wants to know all about it.
Talking about your fapping adventures is
your
fetish, dear. Not ours.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
Mary Etheldreda
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