Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-28-2009, 04:46 PM
Sure thing, Pastor. A Poem Based On Ezekiel
Ezekiel was blessed with the honor of seeing God's loins
At His command did eat a book that tasted sweet as honey!
If you are good, and God lays a stumbling block before you, and you fall from grace, God will kill you, and all your good deeds shall be forgotten!
At His command was Ezekiel to eat barley cakes made of human excrement!
God hates Ezekiel's hair, so he shaves it bald. A third he burns, a second he stabs, the rest he scatters in the wind.
God will make father eat the flesh of son, and son to eat the flesh of father!
He will send plagues, famines, and wars to us all, and if any survive, we'll be eaten by wild beasts!
The land shall be decorated with bones and corpses!
God will mark of the forehead of the men He wants to save, all the rest He shall have no pity on!
No pity shall He have on those wicked women, who sew abominable pillows!
No pity shall He have on the prophets He lied to, since they believed God's lies!
Women, don't sleep with foreigners just because they have bigger penises!
Men, stay away from menstruating women!
God Almighty polluted Israel with idols and injustice, so He could have an excuse to destroy Israel!
Let not a foreigner touch your virgin breast, ladies, for the penalty is either being paraded naked in public, taking away your children, and stabbing you with a sword - or cutting off your nose and ear, being forced to cut off your own breasts, be raped an mutilated and stoned to death!
Stay away from those donkey-sized penises, ladies!
God gets excited when he cooks human flesh and scum!
God killed Ezekiel's wife and told him not to mourn her!
God makes their loins be at stand and then cuts them off!
God makes armies out of skeletons!
By causing every man's sword to be against his brother, so the Lord magnifies Himself!
A feast shall He prepare for beast and fowl, the flesh and blood of men!
Amen!
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