Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? -
12-09-2019, 01:43 AM
What a neat idea, Dr. Toole! For a woman struggling with her character that is. Those of us whom the LORD has blessed with ambitious wombs are always fit! Why, people stop and stare at me and all my children with looks of admiration when we're in downtown Des Moines, whether we're shouting scripture so men can hear the Word of God and by hearing have faith (Romans 10:17) and be saved (Ephesians 2:8), or throwing stones at sinners to catch their attention (John 8:7; 1 John 5:18), between raising my children and tending to my back yard vineyard (Proverbs 31:16-17), I wouldn't have time to use such a secular toy. Strangers stop me on the street and ask me the secret of my captivating smile! When they find out how many children I have, they congratulate me and tell me I don't look a day over 24! This happens all the time! People say these things to me all the time! They're always talking about it! No, sitting on a simulation disco stick that functions to induce a state heaving bosoms like a whore might have is not for me, thank you very much.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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