[Santa Claus]

Originally Posted by Dolores de Barriga

Hello Santa - instead of gift requests, I have four questions for you:

1. When did you stop going by Saint Nicholas, ditch the bishop robes, and get married? Which of the popes allowed you to do so?

2. Is the North Pole really a better place to live than Turkey where you are originally from?

3. Why so many different days for Christmas-related gift giving: December 6/St. Nicholas' Day, December 25, and January 6/Three Kings' Day? How do you keep up with when to deliver gifts to which cultural tradition? Please note that even though I live in the US, my gift receiving date is still January 6. Los Tres Reyes Magos are the ones who bring gifts to Jesus, duh!

4. Last but not least: why do you always deliver expensive toys to rich kids, and cheap toys to poor kids?

Thank you for your kind attention to these questions.

P.S.: The cassowaries really are a nice finishing touch for the hot mess also known as "The Year of Our Lord 2020."

Ho and WOW! That kinda reveals what Christmas is all about for you, doesn't it? So, instead of answers, I have some gifts for you. You need to get loose, have some fun and re-gain the sense of wonder that might still lie buried very very deep within that scholarly konmari of discarding all things bright and beautiful. What you need is a scooter with Indian-style decorations.



But that is not enough! You also need some suitable renovations to your wardrobe to be presentable when driving around with that gizmo.



It is genuine polar bear replica of fine plastic strands with the blush pink stain, chemical composition Cd-Se-Ze-Si! It's awesome. And here's something to sooth your pale complexion and your upset tummy.



As stated previously, the cassowaries are out of stock and whining won't get you any!

Ho and PS: Handy-Brandy girlygirl. Your case is closed for now.