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Originally Posted by Santa Claus
Ezzie boy! Of course it was I who gave that awesome present to Hezzie! But, as your lot tends to say - guns don't kill, people do. Similarly, my nice plastic deliveries do not harm, incompetent naughty kids do!
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The NRA run gun safety courses – give me the address of your “tin-can telephone” safety course, y’ old psychopath!
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I've been wondering how come your folks did not pray for young Hezzie's ear to be healed or did they but weren't answered?
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Crack open your Bible sometime! When Jesus did the miracle of the chopped off ear, it was a clean cut! I’ve done that a few times myself. Poor Hezekiah’s ear went a yellowish, greenish color and was cut off by my father as the demon infestation didn’t warrant the effort and expense of an exorcism!
I can still hear his screams as the demons were removed with his ear. I think you’ve ruined the peace of Christmas for me!
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Anyway, I have a challenge to you!
I know the Bible and, at the end, the authors gives the impression that the adventures of the protagonist would soon continue. Well, we've been expecting the sequel for a couple of millennia and it's always gonna be "next year" or the "one after that". Here's the challenge: I promise to visit many many homes at Christmas as my umpteenth coming. If anyone sees me and takes a photo, I win. If Jesus comes back with as reliable evidence, you win. In that case, I'll deliver you a hot garden bath over fire!
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You have a strange view of Christianity. If Jesus says He’s coming back, then He’s coming back. Unlike the slew of other, so-called gods and heroes who “say” they’ll come back Jesus has done it once before so there’s no technical problems.
There is, I admit, one theological problem: “Jesus will come back like a thief in the night”, i.e. when we least expect it. There are 7 billion of us on this planet, and if everyone thought He would come back on different days, then He couldn’t come back on any of those days, this would delay His return for about 20 million years – a situation that cannot be tolerated.
Back in the day (IIRC it was in 1949) Lamentations Flint ordered every date from that date until 2500 to be written on a piece of paper. All the pieces were put in a huge box in a very dark room. Lamentations Flint went into the room, delved into the box under the inspiration of God, and took one date from them all. He placed the piece of paper with the date into a small box and locked it. The huge box and its contents were then burned and the box place in the moist secure safe in the most secure vault at Landover Church.
That is the date upon which Jesus will return. But nobody knows it.
Your photo idea is stupid: I saw a Darkie last year dressed as you – nobody goes around dressed as Jesus.
