Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Welcome to our friendly forums, dear! Tell us about yourself. What is your favorite way to rebuke sinners? How many children has your wife blessed you with? Does she work hard and keep you all clothed in scarlet like the Bible says a good wife does?
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My favorite way to rebuke sinners is "before all, that others also may fear." (1 Timothy 5:20)
I have not yet been blessed with a wife or children. Every single woman I have tried courting here in Des Moines turns out to fall in either one or several of these categories:
1) She refuses to call me "my lord" (in violation of Genesis 18:12, 1 Peter 3:6)
2) She either has a job or career outside the home, or refuses to do all of the household chores (in violation of Titus 2:5)
3) She wears pants rather than modest skirts and dresses (in violation of Deuteronomy 22:5, 1 Timothy 2:9)
4) She is not a virgin (in violation of Deuteronomy 22:20-21)
5) She believes in the totally absurd concept of "marital rape" (in violation of 1 Corinthians 7:4-5)
6) She gets her hair cut, or refuses to cover it (in violation of 1 Corinthians 11:5-15)
7) She is older than me, or refuses to obey and submit to me (in violation of Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18)
8) She refuses to accept my spankings as an act of love (in violation of Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:19, Proverbs 13:24, Hebrews 12:6, Revelation 3:19)