(Work in progress.)
Republicans
Brother Donald <-------------- To keep our tax-free status we can't endorse him, but if we could endorse him, we would.
The cuckservative challengers
Q-anon tells me they are out there, and the deep-state is pulling the strings for them.
So far the cuckservatives are underground, pretending to be the normal #NeverTrumpExceptForThisOneTimeISwear, sniveling cowardly lickspittles, but we will stay vigilant.
The Democrats competing the the honor of being Stumped by Trump!
Al Franken Already purged. (White Man.)
Bernie Sanders.Won't last long: is at the bottom of the victim-hood hierarchy because according to the left Jews have never been historically oppressed.
Eric Yang Won't last long: Will be counted as white for victim-hood hierarchy purposes.
Here he is getting all-but-endorsed by stoner/hippie Joe Rogan:
Amy Klobuchar, U.S. Senator from Minnesota since 2007
Reasons she will get nowhere in the primaries:
- Buzzfeed Hates her.
- A prosecutor, meaning she's locked up at least one black criminal.
- One of the highest approval ratings in the Senate. Popular among Minnesotans, also known as "Canadians who don't say "Eh".". Eh-hole or not, coastal bubble-dwellers won't vote for a flyoverlander.
- The most productive Senator, passing more legislation than any other senator. Democrats will hate her for making the others look lazy.
- Supports nuclear power. Democrats talk about climate change because they want to feel smug, not because they actually want alternative energy that actually works
- Contrary to identity politics, says "choose the best person for the job".
Pete Buttigieg, Mayor of South Bend since 2012
Beto O'Rourke, U.S. Representative from Texas 2013–2019, Democratic nominee for United States Senate election in Texas in 2018This Gen-X punk rocker turns out to be the secret hacker known as "Psychedelic Warlord". He co-invented "hacktivism". This may sound like a big deal in our internet-driven, baby-boomer-minority world, right? Don't bother googling for more information, all you'll get is accusations that as a teenage punk he was "misogynist" which means he liked boobs.
Kamala Harris, U.S. Senator from California since 2017I predict she will win the primaries. As a black woman she outranks everybody. They will ignore that she slept her way to the top. Courtship-lawyers could have a field day with her dating history.
Julian Castro, U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
2014–2017; Mayor of San Antonio,
Texas 2009–2014Will have good relations with Canada, because both leaders are brothers, sons of Fidel.
Elizabeth "Pocahantas" Warren, U.S. Senator
from Massachusetts since 2013; Special Advisor for the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
2010–2011; Chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel
2008–2010
Wrote a book on working women that feminists might find a little too nuanced.
She's such a nerd even liberals in Minnesota are bullying and laughing at her:
Joe Biden, Vice President of the United States 2009–2017; U.S. Senator from Delaware 1973–2009; candidate for President in 1988 and in 2008
Michael Bloomberg,former Mayor of New York City 2002–2013 Would be super-qualified if he had been mayor on 9/11, but he wasn't so he's unqualified.
Cory "cue ball" Booker, U.S. Senator from New Jersey since 2013; Mayor of Newark 2006–2013Warning: don't make too many bald jokes for fear of God sending bears to rip you to bits. 2 Kings 2:23-24
Tulsi Gabbard, U.S. Representative from Hawaii since 2013 Pro: Will warn us if a ballistic missile is incoming.
Con: Will also warn us when one is NOT incoming.
Here she is with Stoner-freak Joe Rogan:
P.S. Hawaii is not even America!
Angelina Jolie, actress and philanthropist from CaliforniaShe'll have the most spectacular lips in the White House since Monica Lewinski.
Chelsea "white house dog" Clinton
Has
confessed to murdering 49 people in a terrorist attack.
Eric SwalwellSwallow-well? Gay vote is being tightly contested, folks
Defeated:
Richard Ojeda -West Virginia State Senate Member since 2016
His logo looks like a tattoo - he's encouraging cuttings of the flesh! Leviticus 19:28
In fact it looks like a downright tramp-stamp!
Also, he curses: