Friends, I know you were as nonplussed as I was when the Tennessee Bureau of Christian World Records announced Creflo Dollar had broken Pastor Zeke's record for Longest Sermon in Human History.
To be sure, at twenty three hours, nine minutes and one second, Creflo's June 2018 homily on the need for African Americans to reject premarital sex and seek deeper relationships with Jesus does sound like an impressive achievement.
But not so fast!
According to the following article...
https://www.christianitytoday.com/ne...icals-bla.html
...black preachers only have the longest average sermon times because they're constantly pausing for dramatic effect, and giving their overly demonstrative parishioners adequate time to wave their hands in the air and call out things like, "Oh yes," and "Amen, Lordt!"
I have painstakingly listened to every second of Creflo's record-breaking sermon, taking careful notes the whole time, and the results are damning.
If you remove every long, unnecessary gap in the pastor's speech, his sermon's total duration is a mere seventeen hours, four minutes, and twenty seconds!
Thus, Pastor Zeke's April 2017 sermon on the Satanic roots of boogie-woogie music, which lasted twenty two hours, six minutes, and thirteen seconds, still stands as history's longest!
I have forwarded my findings to the Tennessee Bureau, and I look forward to a ruling soon.
You are welcome, everybody.
You are welcome.