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Anthony Davis
Anthony Davis has told Pelicans he won't re-sign, agent saysLiberal-bias sports is now naming teams after a strutting bird that swallows slippery, writhing cylinders alive. No, obviously no homosexual subliminal messages there. .
Prodigy
This 11-Year-Old Crocheting Prodigy Is Your New HeroNo, my heroes are still Donald Trump, Donald Trump, and DonaldTrump.
Scary Mommy
Scary MommyWasn't this sister Sarah's new guide to child discipline?
Classroom
Madison teachers prepare to bring Black Lives Matter into the classroomThey think Hillary lost Wisconsin because white kids don't get beaten up enough there.
Atlanta weather
Some metro Atlanta express lanes to close ahead of winter weatherBless their souls, but what a bunch of wimps southerners are, bless their souls. If General Sherman had really wanted to mess Atlanta up, he should have brought a handful of snow with him.
Periodic table
16 Elements: Berkeley Lab's Contributions to the Periodic Table
Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory 16 elements? Their humanities wing discovered 160 genders in the same time period. Step up your game, STEM-nerds.
Snake
Hyderabad: 50% of rescued snakes are Cobras, numbers increasingGreat, the snakehandlers have missionaries in India now. My next tech support call is just going to be lots of hissing.
IRS
IRS: Welcome Back, Opportunity Zones Need Your AttentionIs that what they're calling China these days?
Drive
13-year-old girl shot when bullets fly into bedroom during drive-by in ...Bullets are flying now? Does the FAA know this? Or dose the media need to learn that guns don't kill people, blacks kill people.
Rolling Loud 2019
Kid Cudi, Travis Scott, and Migos to Headline Rolling Loud Miami I don't know who they are, so how about they stay there.
Clever
The Clever Thrill Ride of “Russian Doll”"Thriller" is film-snob code for "boring movie".
J. Cole
J. Cole leaves message for all generations in 'Middle Child'Birth order - the newest battlefield for the oppression Olympics.
Epic
Metro Exodus is the latest game to ditch Steam for Epic's game storeThere's nothing epic about sitting in your mom's basement playing with your wii. How about a Basement Exodus?
Scratch
Iredell woman wins $277777 in scratch-off lottery gameWins first class ticket to HELL for gambling.
Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton runs to Puerto Rico, not the White House...
Rockets
Agent: Marquese Chriss wants opportunity with Rockets or a tradeIf you want opportunity, how about you pick up some skills beyond running after balls like a dog.
NOAA
NOAA asks mariners to avoid group of 100 endangered whales south of NantucketYou know who is really endangered? Anyone who tells me where I can or cannot sail my Yacht.
Challenger explosion
Remembering the 'star voyagers' who died 33 years ago when the Challenger explodedWho?
Birds of Prey
First Birds of Prey footage has the entire cast in costumeIf they swoop down and eat the cast of Cats, I'll watch this.