Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
02-07-2009, 03:55 AM
A Poem Based On Genesis
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth
And then came man.
In the beginning, God created man,
and then came the heavens and the earth.
A talking snake ruined everything
So women have pain during child birth, and men must rule over them!
The sons of God took the daughters of men as their wives - the bore children, the mighty men of old, men of renown!
There were giants back then, you know!
Then God kill absolutely everything that wasn't in a giant boat!
Noah was most righteous, if you ignore the drunk episode!
And since his son told people he was lying naked in a tent, Noah cursed all of his sons descendants to be slaves to his other son!
Lot was in a mighty pickle, they wanted to rape his guests, they didn't even want his daughters!
Afterward he got drunk and impregnated them!
Abraham had a son with his slave, but his wife got jealous, so he let them go loose in the desert!
God asked him to kill the son that mattered, and Abraham was all too willing!
Jacob wanted Rachel, but married Leah accidentally!
Rachel wanted Jacob, so she buys him away from Leah with magic flowers!
Jacob saw God face to face and lived!
Bad old Reuben had sex with his father's concubine!
Worse was Onan, who refused to ejaculate inside his dead brother's wife - God killed him right away!
Since he didn't do the job, she tricked her father-in-law into knocking her up!
AMEN!
|