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Default Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-25-2019, 09:48 PM

It's official. Jesus hates the Rain Forest!



Quote:
Originally Posted by BBC
The official figures show more than 75,000 forest fires were recorded in Brazil in the first eight months of the year - the highest number since 2013. That compares with 40,000 in the same period in 2018.



Let us not forget, Jesus prefers the desert. When profitable, it's good to protect the forests, but if Jesus loved them most, He would have been born in Brazil, or the Congo, or Oregon. But He wasn't, and I think it might be because of the mosquitoes, but anyway, He decided to impregnate His mother and be born in Israel. In the desert.

People will come to you for support to help put out the fire in the Amazon, but True Christians™ know our priority is saving Souls for the LORD's Second Coming (Matthew 24:14). It is not to preserve the earthly paradise for atheists, hippies, and vegetarians (John 15:19; 17:16; Philippians 3:20; Colossians 3:2). Those who are most committed to preserving the environment are atheists and advocates of abortion.




Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-25-2019, 09:59 PM

Oh, I can't say that I am terribly surprised, dear Sister Mary. We've seen how those Cathyolicks have ignored the commandment of the for centuries, with their statues everywhere -- even though they should know better than to do so:

Exodus 20:4 "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth."

Obviously, they didn't learn a thing from when sent the fires to their cathedral in Paris, so now He is trying another way of getting their attention!



A blessed day to you, dear Sister Mary,
Sincerely, Isabella W.



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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-25-2019, 10:00 PM

J'g:9:14: Then said all the trees unto the bramble, Come thou, and reign over us.
J'g:9:15: And the bramble said unto the trees, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your trust in my shadow: and if not, let fire come out of the bramble, and devour the cedars of Lebanon.


Someone in the Amazon has annoyed a bramble...




Ec:7:16: Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

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Jesus Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 12:38 AM

This is Jesus's revenge on all of those "Save the Rainforest" hippies. He's sticking a flaming middle finger in their greasy faces to show them that He is not mocked!


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 01:28 AM

Urgent! Are there any signs of simultaneous hail or blood, even menstrual?! This could be IT! Jesus might already be boarding the Celestial Jet to return!

Revelation 8:7
The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.

I suppose the Analzone takes care of the tree conundrum as it should be at least a third of the world's arboreal abominations. Looking forward to the combusting grasslands.






Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 01:36 AM

It would be a kind thing to warn all sinners including homers, liberals and the rest that their time is almost up. We're all quite busy this week so they will have to find it out for themselves.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Sinner Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 02:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
It would be a kind thing to warn all sinners including homers, liberals and the rest that their time is almost up.
We've been doing that for ages. Why would they suddenly listen now? I say let them burn in the fires of this world and the next.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 08:02 AM

"Climate Change" in the Bible (KJV1611)? There is both Biblical and other evidence to suggest that Israel was much wetter and more hospitable for farming in the past than today. No doubt Jesus is turning it into a desert to punish the Jews for not accepting Him as the Son of God. As far as collateral damage is concerned, the mooselimbs deserve it as well.

As far as the fires in the Amazon, we all know the "new" pope is trying to adopt the Amazon savages pagan religion into the cathylick church - reason enough for Jesus to burn the place to the ground.

Quote:
And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.

- Genesis 13:10


And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows;

And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and honey; unto the place of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites.

- Exodus 3:7,8


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 11:18 AM

This is Amazon-ing! (Pun intended!)

This is Jesus's way of clear cutting away primitive wilderness to make room more shopping malls when the flames settle. Those South Americans are already under-privileged, so this is truly a blessing.
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 01:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
We've been doing that for ages. Why would they suddenly listen now? I say let them burn in the fires of this world and the next.
Amen, dear Brother Lukes, Amen! Those sinful reprobates will not listen now -- or ever. The entire world could be on fire, and they will still refuse to see the Truth that's been presented to them so many times.

Ephesians 4:18 "Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart".

A blessed day to you, dear Brother Lukes,
Sincerely, Isabella W.



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Swell the mighty flood;
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Praise the precious .
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 02:34 PM

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Cross Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-26-2019, 06:40 PM

If there were that many actual forest fires going on, the 'rain forest' would of been gone long ago. More likely it is just bacon cooking camp fires from ministry out reach bringing Jesus and Christianity to the heathen backwoods natives. Imagine what it will be like when these creatures and access Pastor Flint's PodCasts®!


Onward Christian Soldiers, Marching as to War!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-29-2019, 04:59 AM

I heard on the news that a Professor of Arson from the university (I didn't know there were professors of arson!) declared the sudden increase of fires by 300% was absolutely NOT caused by lightning strikes.

And it would be unnecessary wouldn't it, if the fire hailstones have started.
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-30-2019, 02:07 PM

You just know that Jesus HAS to be on His way soon!

What with the whole planet--edge to edge of it--burning and sinking and stinking, it is near to unlivable. So Jesus has to come back to save His beloved remnant of True Christians™.


The more catastrophies the better it is for Christians. This big fire is like Jesus' "Save the Date" mailer for His upcoming wedding to his dear Bride--us!


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-30-2019, 02:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
You just know that Jesus HAS to be on His way soon!

What with the whole planet--edge to edge of it--burning and sinking and stinking, it is near to unlivable. So Jesus has to come back to save His beloved remnant of True Christians™.

The more catastrophies the better it is for Christians. This big fire is like Jesus' "Save the Date" mailer for His upcoming wedding to his dear Bride--us!
Amen, dear Sister Handmaiden, Amen!! And I do thank you for pointing this out. Goodness, it does make the heart feel good, knowing that this fire is a sure sign of the soon-to-be return of our blessed , the . How I praise for glorious promises!

Luke 12:49 "I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled?"

Revelation 22:12 "And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be."



A blessed day to you, dear Sister Handmaiden,
Sincerely, Isabella W.



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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-30-2019, 02:57 PM

Everyone downwind of this conflagration must be high as a kite on the burning cocaine. But Mexicans are so excitable by nature (when they're not asleep) that it's likely nobody has noticed.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-30-2019, 05:42 PM

I always roll my eyes when the bleeding heart liberals say, "but we have to preserve the planet for the future generations!" That is something only an atheist can say, as it takes away agency from God. God is the one who created this planet, and He is the Only One Who can either destroy it or save it.

Just think about it. When a tenant notes a leaky roof, what does he do? Fix the roof himself, or complain to the landlord? Well, God is our Landlord. If the climate really is changing due to human influence (and a whooping 2% of scientists disagree with that statement), we need to complain to our Landlord, via Prayer. He is the only one who can fix it. If He wants to.

Now, if God was like any other landlord, we could give 30 days notice and move out to some other, more suitable property. But it's not like that, so suck it up, buttercup. This is the world we were given and if God wants us deep fried before the Rapture, well, that's what we are going to get.
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-30-2019, 10:40 PM

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if God was like any other landlord, we could give 30 days notice and move out
I remember another "tenant" problem which God solved rather easily. What reminded me was some doyleys I'd made as an incentive for a competition, a set of 8 which could be printed on tissue paper and used as a template for embroidery or (a less time consuming alternative) printed on light card and laminated.


A scripture doyley is a great way to witness, especially when dealing with savages who are quite likely to eat directly off the ground. I'm not sure whether savages still occupy the region but they are of a peculiar snake worshipping variety aren't they? God would not like that at all and has used a remedy before that would be particularly effective here against ungrateful tenants who've persistently refused to subdue the land, allowing the jungle to utterly run amok over everything.

Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

The parallel here is almost exact. A very similar response from God could not therefore be unexpected. When printing a doyley for lamination, solid ink printers give the best results.
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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-30-2019, 11:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
A scripture doyley is a great way to witness, especially when dealing with savages who are quite likely to eat directly off the ground. I'm not sure whether savages still occupy the region but they are of a peculiar snake worshipping variety aren't they? God would not like that at all and has used a remedy before that would be particularly effective here against ungrateful tenants who've persistently refused to subdue the land, allowing the jungle to utterly run amok over everything. The parallel here is almost exact. A very similar response from God could not therefore be unexpected. When printing a doyley for lamination, solid ink printers give the best results.
Doyleys! My goodness, Sister Mitza, I thought that I was the only one on to remember such lovely bits of handwork, and I do thank you so for mentioning these treasures. And what an impressive way of witnessing to the nigras in Africa! Now, when I was a missionary in Monrovia, I used to crochet doyleys as gifts for the native people, such as the one in the photo below. You'll see that I've included the Cross in the centre, but it might be hard to notice due to the stitching. Your idea of a printed doyley is excellent, and much quicker to produce than the usual tatting. If it helps to share the glorious Gospel of our , then I'm sure that your method will be a very useful tool when evangelizing.

Matthew 29:19 " Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost".

A blessed day to you, dear Sister Mitza,
Sincerely, Isabella W.





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Default Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY! - 08-31-2019, 01:31 AM

The competition remains current, there's still a couple of verses to reference in Landover's Baptist Lounge and eventually I'll need to decide on a standard format for linking Scripture. At present it's all over the place due to contributors' linking to different KJV sites. The official KJV site is the most consistent: it doesn't suddenly change format!
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