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Reload this Page If you masturbate it means you're gay...
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 08-02-2020, 04:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Black man View Post
I'm also thinking of cutting my arm if any thought of sin occurs to me again, what do you think about this?
I think.... you need to try a bit harder.


Song of Solomon 2:2 As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women.
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Jesus Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 08-05-2020, 04:46 PM

Every time I see a man masturbating, hands moving in a near blur in a effort to expel potential Soldiers for Christ™ from their turgid member and commit murder I am simply put, disgusted. No matter how many thousands of times I am forced to witness the horrific act, I am left with the same feelings.
An 'orgasm' is the same thing as a 'hole in one' for Satan. I am more than happy pulling a Mulligan with my pals.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 08-08-2020, 06:24 PM

People who say, "God" when having reproductive sex know at that moment that they are glorifying God (even if it is in an icky way).

People who masturbate may as well call out Satan's name.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 03-07-2021, 03:38 AM

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Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Friend, unlike you, we 'stick together based on our unwavering concern regarding Christianty. You stick togther due to the thick coating of Gaysexual Man Seed® coating your limbs and torso. Quite foul and disgusting.

Do we want to see you burn in Hell for all of eternity? No, though with all that jit on you, I doubt you will burn at all to begin with. More like float on top of the glowing pile of skulls simmering in the brimstone.


Consider this:
You're once again, mindlessly yanking your crank, all proud because your mom put clean sheets on the bed and the Sears Men's catalog arrived. A Good Humor truck comes and runs over your gut, causing your body to burst and spray entrails all over the street.

You're dead
Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begins falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save© your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
This is a great post, sums up perfectly why i can't wait to lie face down to the ground before GOD for all eternity, serving and worshipping forever without a break or an end. And why After i've served my first trillion years staring at the ground i'll look up, thank the ALMIGHTY LORD high above me on his throne for the privilege and then get my face back on the ground ready to start serving the next trillion years. The chance to spend eternity face down at God's feet instead of the eternal hell you describe is something to celebrate, rejoice and praise the LORD for.


What do i hope Heaven is like? It's a place where i will lie face down to the ground before GOD for all eternity, serving and worshipping forever without a break or an end. After i've served my first trillion years staring at the ground i'll look up, thank the ALMIGHTY LORD high above me on his throne for the privilege and then get my face back on the ground ready to start serving the next trillion years. That's how i hope Heaven is like.
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