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The Corona Virus Among the seven last plagues.

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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-18-2020, 12:41 AM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Why isn't the practice of masturbation banned nationwide?
It's because of liberal obstruction. Liberal judges claim there's a constitutional right to masturbate, though I've read the Constitution and can assure you that it isn't there. And liberal politicians want to promote sexual immorality because they hate America and want to bring it down.

This is why it is so important to vote for Donald Trump this year--he will appoint judges who will reverse the activism of the liberals and make it possible for states to recriminalize masturbation and other forms of sex that people engage in for enjoyment.


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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-19-2020, 08:15 PM

It used to be legal to perform operations on children to nip this sort of behavior in the bud. But, nooooooo, that is considered wrong, somehow.

Since when is it wrong for parents to educate their children according to their beliefs?


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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-20-2020, 11:31 PM

I blame Obama! Lazy good for nothing would have endorsed it!
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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-20-2020, 11:36 PM

This is what happens when we fall asleep at the wheel fellow brothers and sisters. Obama should never have got into the oval and I for one cannot believe the scoundrel managed to find a way in. Probably used his minority tactics to tunnel in or slip through the A/C. Long live the MAGA reign in the oval!
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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-23-2020, 04:44 AM

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Originally Posted by Booty Shorty Uccello View Post
This is what happens when we fall asleep at the wheel fellow brothers and sisters. Obama should never have got into the oval and I for one cannot believe the scoundrel managed to find a way in. Probably used his minority tactics to tunnel in or slip through the A/C. Long live the MAGA reign in the oval!
Excuse me, to which "oval" are you referring? Are you reminiscing about the old-timey drink named "ovaltine"? Or perhaps you are making an oblique reference to a masturbatory practice? In that case, I thank you for your discretion.


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Rebuke Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-23-2020, 12:49 PM

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Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Excuse me, to which "oval" are you referring? Are you reminiscing about the old-timey drink named "ovaltine"? Or perhaps you are making an oblique reference to a masturbatory practice? In that case, I thank you for your discretion.
Dearest Sister,

I think that you definitely are unto something here. And that something is, as expected, sodomy. Ovaltine, especially when consumed before bedtime, has well-known and not at all uncommon side-effects that are irreversible and devastating.



It seems that this uccello-guy (as a Creation scientist I am well aware of the subtext of this Vaticanistic word, the vernacular translation of which is "bird") uses the association-lure "oval" to seduce our young youths into taking a disastrous dose of this spiritually fatal beverage that can make our unblemished young Brethren wake up with sodomistic cravings. This "Ovaltine" is one of the most potent extrinsic causes of sodomy right after prostate exams and water polo.

Romans 1:26
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

It is not a coincidence that this rousing verse contains the letters highlighted in red typeface. I say Russell's teapot is more likely to traverse the Solid Sphere of the Firmament right now than the sodomite to lose his spots. We must treat this newcomer as a Sodomite unless proven otherwise.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-23-2020, 04:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
It seems that this uccello-guy (as a Creation scientist I am well aware of the subtext of this Vaticanistic word, the vernacular translation of which is "bird") uses the association-lure "oval" to seduce our young youths into taking a disastrous dose of this spiritually fatal beverage that can make our unblemished young Brethren wake up with sodomistic cravings. This "Ovaltine" is one of the most potent extrinsic causes of sodomy right after prostate exams and water polo.
Add to that the original fake avatar photo of failed mass-murderer Raoul Moat (I don't think a body-count of two, including himself, was what he had in mind, do you?) and I suspect he may have been encouraging our sons to dose themselves with steroids, perhaps washed down with a bedtime drink of Ovaltine.

The result would presumably be that they would wake refreshed and with foul homosexualist desires, but so very much impaired by being wounded in the stones (by shrinkage) that they would be unable to do anything about it. This would avoid them falling foul of Leviticus 18:22. However, Deuteronomy 23:1 tells us that they would be unable to enter into the congregation of our beloved Lord.

Just Say No to Ovaltine. And steroids.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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flag Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-23-2020, 07:21 PM

Very true. My younger brother is sadly still a heavy masturbator. He is the black sheep of our family. I blame him for this virus.


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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-24-2020, 04:23 AM

So, so much masturbation. How does Jesus deal with viewing it all? My heart breaks with the thought of all the dirty deeds done in the dark that Jesus must bear witness to.


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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 08-25-2020, 12:13 AM

I was referring to the oval office brothers and sisters. Sorry for any confusion.
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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 09-01-2020, 10:14 PM

How can a young boy interested in Christianity stop masturbation? I feel guilty for spilling my seed but I always feel like my body "needs" to do it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Let us not forget about the evil that is masturbation within marriage. Any couple, Christian or otherwise, having sex in a position that is not missionary and for the sole purpose of procreation is causing the Corona. That means doggie style, spooning, standing, bent over sink or furniture, weak in the knee, cowgirl, oral, and all those demonic positions are masturbation, using the spouse's genitals as a masturbatory tool of Satan.

Only the missionary position with the man on top, dominating the wife is acceptable to Christ. The wife must never be on top because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, and you wouldn't expect Christ to submit to the church. These illicit positions are demonic and unleash evil, and now we know in what form - covid viruses.

DON'T SAY YOU'RE MARRIED AND CAN DO ANYTHING WITH YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE! THOSE WHO PRACTICE THE WRONG SEX POSITIONS WILL END UP IN HELL!
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Lightbulb Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 09-02-2020, 05:08 AM

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Originally Posted by Timmaye View Post
How can a young boy interested in Christianity stop masturbation? I feel guilty for spilling my seed but I always feel like my body "needs" to do it.
Dear Person,

Obviously, it is not enough to "be interested in" Christianity. You need to open your heart to Jesus and He'll help you. A session with a credited True Christian™ pastor (hard to find) will also help as will meticulous following of President Trump's Tweetings. But Jesus is the Key. He'll assist you in these endeavors.



2 Corinthians 4:11
For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

You've come to the right place (by the Grace of Jesus who guided your steps hitherto). Please persist and learn from us.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 09-02-2020, 12:08 PM

Thank you, I've been looking through the forum some and realizing its a bigger issue to do than i thought.
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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 09-02-2020, 01:25 PM

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Thank you, I've been looking through the forum some and realizing its a bigger issue to do than i thought.
Well then, hello and to our forum! Whenever you are ready, please feel free to stroll to our Introduction Forum and create a thread there introducing yourself, you know, like a civilized person!
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Default Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus - 09-04-2020, 09:20 AM

Quote:
MALEVOLENCE OF THE DEMIURGE

Having read about your compulsions once, there didn't seem much point repeating everything. The posts are there in sequence if anyone's interested. Since this virus is getting so much attention it's worth considering the relationship between compulsive actions and The Bible's very straightforward explanation about disease, healing and grossness of the flesh. The first step is to forget about human understanding and start trusting The Lord.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Once the world was created, God populated it with grass and herbs and cereals and fruit trees He'd prepared earlier. The Bible covers this detail for a reason, one being that God knew objections would be raised according to human understanding about photosynthesis and the generation of chlorophyll in plants. It's the same with plagues such as leprosy and virus. Understanding THAT virus exists is not the same as knowing WHY virus exists.

Genesis 2:4-5 These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens, and every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

When psychiatrists announce that repression of lewdness is maladaptive and that physical ailments may follow chaste actions (or inaction, as they would say) they are endorsing a world view based on human understanding. Satan encourages that and suggests ways to avoid plague or insanity by increasing knowledge of WHAT is happening while disregarding WHY it is happening. Satan wants everyone to lean on their own understanding and never trust The Lord at all.

Genesis 2:4-5 There went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground. And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

We already know where those plants came from, God had created them somewhere else and kept them until He planted the garden. There was a right way to use what He'd created and a wrong way. Doing things the wrong way has consequences. Were leprosy and plague and this virus created already but (like the plants) held back until needed? The Bible does not say so explicitly but we do know that all creating was finished at a specific time in the past so if God created viruses—and we know He did—He must have stored them somewhere until creation was modified somehow by evil working through fallen humanity to release them. Now that really is malevolence!

God has explained what those actions are and the consequences, all around us in His Ruined Creation, demonstrate the veracity of Scripture and the words of Jesus in particular. He knows all about this plague and all about shebopping. That is a gerund. Conjugation of the verb with explanatory graphics is attempted here:

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