[Elmer G. White]

Brethren! Sisters! Disney - a vile Evil Empire working 24/7 to seduce young youths of Caucasian complexion to excessive sodomy - just released its newest blockbastard called "Obi-Wank Kenobi". It is - as always - my duty to sacrifice many hours of profitable Prayer to watching the filth that the entertainment escapades of the shirtless mouse and the trouserless duck have to offer. I'll be giving + and - points along my review in this manner (+) or (-) for you to follow the score.



I really had lots of trouble following the intricate and confusing plot of this series of which two episodes (perhaps that's all there is, at least I hope and pray that it be so) have been released. It is, however, clear that this is a battle between good and evil, which is of course the most realistic way God's Creation can be depicted (+). We are in a fairyland inhabited by humans and demons, quite Biblical (+). Sometime in the past, the authorities have been able to vanquish a criminal organization called the Jedi, who have seduced young men and women into a secret society that promotes not marrying and false gods called the "Forces" (Wotan, I presume, or the Valkyries?). Still, some of these witchcraft wielding Satanists remain, and the local police force that has the licence to kill criminals on sight (+) hunts down these cancerous cells, as even the slightest stain can corrupt the whole Creation (+).

James 2:10
For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

Going well. However, this policeforce is named after Papists, it's the "Inquisition" (-) and it is led by an uppity woman (-) of servant Hamite heritage (-). She also has some lines to utter.



1 Timothy 2:12
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

The plot gets very confusing. An uppity young female talks back to a boy and is rescued from her abusive and adoptive parents by some freelancing Proud Boys.



Apparently, they're planning to take her to a Catholic School (-) to learn chastity (+) but the villain called Obi-Wank or "Ben" kidnaps her and tries to take her to be trained in blasphemy and the "Forces" (we know, they are the forces of sodomy). The uppity woman tries to rescue her and take her to her father called Analkin (a bad choice for a name so -).

I really was a bit at lost as the Jedi are a real threat on Earth and for instance in Evil England there are hundreds of thousands of them based on the censuses, but in this series they seemed to inhabit the Firmament. However, the basic idea is that we should be subject to authorities and not question them (+) is very good (Romans 13:1). On the other hand, the characters use "light shavers" that are just phallic symbols and some of the male thespians are quite good-looking and too groomed to be heterosexual (-).



Just like Jesus, the authorities are going to establish peace and prosperity (1 Timothy 2:2) by systematic slaughter of the infidels (+) and the building of the subsequent empire (Revelation 19:21). However, the villain looks like Jesus in open blasphemy (-).



The tally: (+) 7, (-) 7. An agnostic result, it means something. I also urge you to do as many re-counts as necessary to prove Disney evil.
Will I keep watching? Definitely if more episodes appear before Jesus appears. Someone has to assess the suitability of this to the common child or woman.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[WWJDnow]

If Disney has even a shred of decency left, they'll burn this Kenobi fellow as a witch in the final episode along with the actor who plays him.

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. Exodus 22:18

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

If Disney has even a shred of decency left, they'll burn this Kenobi fellow as a witch in the final episode along with the actor who plays him.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. Exodus 22:18

We True Christians™ need to find a method to control Disney. Films that raise the status of witches and the rest merely advance the downward spiral into sin.

[handmaiden]

Disney has been in descent for a long time. One of their first movies was Snow White, and it showed a witch in her true form as evil and ugly and she got her comeuppance. But then they had Cinderella, which had a fairy Godmother(?). This was a clear attempt to present witchcraft in a positive way as well as a blatant usurping of male authority.

The situation got even worse in Sleeping Beauty, which had multiple fairies. Yes, there was a distinction made between the good fairies and the wicked fairy, but that is the problem. All forms of magic that are not Christian miracles--which is not actually magic but spiritual reality--are a deception from Satan and are automatically evil.

The very core of Disney with its Magic Kingdom is satanic. For the life of me, I can't understand why DeSantis ever let them into Florida in the first place. California's acceptance of Disney makes sense. California is a temple to sodomy and The Lord will be disposing of it into the sea any day now. But there are good people in charge down in Florida. They know enough to crack down on gays so it's about time that they ran Disney out of town.

[Dennis Lukes]

I don't care about any of this Stargate crap, but there's one thing that bothers me. How can the Grand Inquisitor be killed in the second episode by the Nigress if he's still alive in the first season of Star Wars Rebels, the animated show set several years later in the timeline and which features the Grand Inquisitor's death scene? Are the Jews who run Disney trying to make a mockery of resurrection? They just keep bringing back characters who were killed onscreen. Darth Maul, Emperor Palpatine, Boba Fett. It's like they're trying to cheapen and de-miracularize one of the core tenets of our faith. And apparently they were too cheap to bring back William Shatner to reprise his role as Captain Picard.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

What's with the "La Sombra Del Imperio" - it sounds like Mexican.

Maybe we could convince Elon Musk to buy Disney and not bother with Twitter.

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

What's with the "La Sombra Del Imperio" - it sounds like Mexican.

I think based on a decent amount of Prayer that this is the Hutterite tongue of this "Star Wars Cosplay Universe", apparently used by the Drag Queens (Deuteronomy 22:5).



It could also be classical Amish or the some other degenerated language that has 200 words for different types of sodomy but none for Jesus.

1 Corinthians 14:14
For if I pray in an unknown tongue, my spirit prayeth, but my understanding is unfruitful.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Dennis Lukes]

Bro. Elmer, please please include a warning next time you're going to post a picture of Hillary Clinton. The wife had to clean vomit off the keyboard before I could post a reply!

George Lucas was a liberal who hated Richard Nixon and Newt Gingerich and the Vietnam War. The character of Obi-Wan Kenobi is a pagan sorcerer. Let's take a look at some of his evil beliefs and see how well they stack up with Biblical facts.


What Jedi actually believe: Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.
What the Bible says: God and His holy word are THE truth. Your opinion is irrelevant (John 14:6, John 16:3, 2 Timothy 3:16-17).


What Jedi actually believe: Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
What the Bible says: You're either with Jesus or you're His enemy (Matthew 12:30, John 14:6).


What Jedi actually believe: If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
What the Bible says: If you kill a man, he goes to his judgment and from thence to Heaven or Hell. Only God is more powerful than we can comprehend (Hebrews 9:27, Colossians 1:16).


What Jedi actually believe: I have the high ground.
What the Bible says: You cannot be good without God. Only Christians have the moral high ground (Psalms 14:1).


And that's not even getting into "The Force," which is some kind of atheistic oriental hippie crap. Star Trek endorses Satanism, do not let your kids watch it, ever.

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

Wise words

Wise words indeed, Brother Lukes.

I am still going to keep watching as there is always the chance of redemption unless this series has blasphemed against the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12:31). I am hoping that President Donald Trump will make a cameo appearance as part of the police force (I even have a suggestion what the name of His character could be: "Darth Donald") to destroy the infidel Jedi-worshippers and be the once and future king that He is.



Is there a variant light-sabrina that protrudes from the mouth, btw?

1 Samuel 23:20
Now therefore, O king, come down according to all the desire of thy soul to come down; and our part shall be to deliver him into the king's hand.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White

I am hoping that President Donald Trump will make a cameo appearance as part of the police force (I even have a suggestion what the name of His character could be: "Darth Donald") to destroy the infidel Jedi-worshippers and be the once and future king that He is.

Brother Elmer, I'm thrilled to be able to inform you that our dear current president Donald Trump has indeed made a cameo appearance on an episode of Star Wars: Deep Space Nine Holes or something.

Unfortunately, there's no official word that his character is slated to return. Considering Disney's declaration of war on God and the GOP, this is unlikely to happen.

[Elmer G. White]

Just watched Episode 3 of the Obi-Wank narrative. Looking better but still not Godly enough for my taste. Episode three is also called "Revenge of the Sith", which does not really ring any bells with me. Anyway, the story unfortunately continues, but on the bright side, we're introduced to the actual hero of the saga, Mr. Darth Vader, some kind of supreme police leader of the "Galaxity". Apparently Mr. Vader was previously tortured by the Obi-Wank person, suffered extreme physical damage, as we can see in his portrait below.



Mr. Vader was previously tormented quite Biblically with brimstone and what seems like tungsten enemas but he has retained his innocence and his pure heart and he keeps on relentlessly trying to bring peace and prosperity to the transfirmamental realm. That is all good, but he also uses magic not unlike miracles, that is, his character is based on Jesus Christ in a bit too obvious manner. Still, I'm sure Mr. Vader will eventually gain a prestigious place in Heaven alongside Pastor Ezekiel, President Trump and Sarah Palin.

2 Peter 2:7
And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked:

Unfortunately, the wicked Jedi escaped, the uppity young female child is still there, phallic symbolism abounds and I'm afraid that I'll have to keep watching in case Episode 4 (also called "A New Hope") is released. So that you don't have to.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White

Just watched Episode 3

I am glad you are watching this so the rest of us doesn't have to suffer through yet another Disney monstrosity.

Ever since Biden stole the elections, Disney has been producing their eye raping crap at a highly increased speed. I have no doubt this directly caused the recent increase in school shootings.

And it's only getting worse:

[Dennis Lukes]

Apparently there was a production leak that spoiled some future plotlines. It seems our hero Darth Vader is going to kill Mr. Kenobi on a spaceship called the Death Star, but that he will return as a ghost. Presumably this will be the plot of Season 2, which will feature a crossover with the new feminist Ghostbusters because only women, POC, and LGBTQIAPZN+ folks are allowed to come back as ghosts.

[WWJDnow]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

Apparently there was a production leak that spoiled some future plotlines. It seems our hero Darth Vader is going to kill Mr. Kenobi on a spaceship called the Death Star, but that he will return as a ghost. Presumably this will be the plot of Season 2, which will feature a crossover with the new feminist Ghostbusters because only women, POC, and LGBTQIAPZN+ folks are allowed to come back as ghosts.

When I first read this, I was wondering how these evil perverts could come back as ghosts when they are all burning in Hell. But then I remembered 1 Samuel 28:11-19, in which the witch of Endor raised the spirit of Samuel from the dead. Not that I think Samuel was in Hell (Jews could go to Heaven without accepting Jesus back in the days of the Old Testament), but if a witch can raise Samuel from the dead, no doubt witches can raise the spirits of homos. But anyone who believes that ghosts just wander the Earth without the intervention of witches is just falling for an ignorant superstition.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

But then I remembered 1 Samuel 28:11-19, in which the witch of Endor raised the spirit of Samuel from the dead.

Return of the Jedi brought Endor to the big screen, and there was even an evil witch there, Luke Skywalker. Wait, look at that, Luke S. Lucas. Come on George, that's pretty pathetic. It would've been a lot better if he'd just done a straight adaptation of the Book of Samuel. Though I must admit, in his prequel films the depiction of the greasy, scraggly, slave-owning, haggling, gambling, money-grubbing Jew is SPOT ON! Truly a courageous cinematic action.




BRAVO GEORGE LUCAS! And I'll admit that Jar Jar Binks is perhaps my favorite character. His shuckin' and jivin' antics, his endearing Gullah patois and slew-footed shuffle, his humble and bumbling nature, that time he attempts to steal a fried chicken from an ethnic street vendor with hilarious results, cinematic genius. "Meesa called Jar Jar Binks. Meesa be yo humble servant, sho nuff! Das rite, let meesa be pickin dat cotton fo yousa, massa!" What a great character.

[Elmer G. White]

I just watched and prayed over Episode 4, "A New Hope" of the unbearable Obi-Wank Saga. A promising title for the episode and, indeed, at first things are going very well. The Obi-Wank heretic is almost dead but the evil forces of a "Baccarat tank" or something resurrect him and he goes on a rampage.



The Christian Empire has meanwhile rescued the uppity girl called Leia Al-Deran (an Arabic name? A former Muslim? No-one knows) and are trying to turn her to the side of Law and Order. With some well-timed corporeal punishment (Proverbs 29:15) but unfortunately the Obi-Wank heretic and a treacherous woman (Ecclesiastes 7:26) intervene and kidnap her again, use conjuring and witchcraft (Deuteronomy 18:10) to drown many of Jesus's Soldiers. Even the hero, Mr. Vader comes to rescue too late and the criminals escape. Meanwhile, I also searched for some background information about this Star Struck Universe, and was able to unravel an interesting piece of information. Mr. Vader is not only a faithful follower of God and President Trump: HE IS ALSO A RECOVERING HOMERSEXUAL GAY SODOMITE! Glory! His former name was Analkin Skywanker - a clear indication that the Jedi are an organization, whose main aim is to seduce young Caucasian youth into anal sodomy.

Revelation 2:5
Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

Verily, Jesus loves Mr. Vader as a Repenting™ sinner and will come unto him quickly. Meanwhile, it seems that the story will go on and on... I'll be updating the situation irregularly. The next Episode is called "The Empire Strikes on the Back" and I am expecting cameos by Jesus, Pastor Zeke and President Trump any episode now!



PS: A nice detail that gives me NEW HOPE. Based on the confusing image above, there is apparently open carry in the Empire!

[WWJDnow]

I haven't seen this filth myself, but I heard that the Jedi Council were almost all men, that they didn't let the Jedi marry women, and that they gave the Jedi unfettered access to young boys. They are basically NAMBLA or Hilary Clinton's pizza parlor. But, to be fair, there is some good stuff in the movies, too. For example, doesn't the hero, Darth Vader, massacre a bunch of sand people, including the women and the children? There couldn't be a better metaphor for how we need to take the Muslims out before they do the same to us, just like God ordered the genocide of various other troublesome Middle Eastern peoples:

But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: But thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee. Deuteronomy 20:16-17

It's a good thing thing He did that, too, otherwise we'd be dealing with Hittite and Perizzite terrorism today.

[Elmer G. White]

This is getting tedious. I just watched Episode 5 "The Empire Strikes Back" despite powerful urges to discard this show and send the time more profitably in Fervent Prayer. However, the Obi-Wank saga goes on and on and on in circles of betrayal and escape. The villainous Jedi Obi-Wank hides in some kind of an Islamic colony but the cunning police force has tracked him there and they attack the criminals and infidels.



This episode is all about the cowardice of the Force-worshipers and the brave attempts of the Imperial Police to take them into custody. It would all work out fine, but the Hamite policewoman turns out to be a double agent who betrays (expectedly) Jesus and stalls the bust. Ergo, once again the criminals flee. Mr. Vader is once again betrayed, he arrives at the scene too late but still has time to punish the Hamite female.



Now, there are some issues that make the Jedi especially disgusting.

1. Wardrobe: They never ever wear decent suits or ties.
2. Grooming: It is clear that Catlick depictions of Jesus are false and He must have kept His beard well-shaven and used a smart jacket wherever He went. Compare this to the nasty Jedi outfit (those who cherish clean suits may be triggered).

So the story will probably go on. The end of this episode suggested that in addition to treachery and disregard for higher powers (Romans 13:1), the Obi-Wank person has seemingly unnatural interest in children. While the Leia person is of marriageable age, the Episode ends in a scene where an approximately 10-year-old boy sleeps in bed. Obi-Wank's next victim, perhaps?

Luke 17:2
It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.

Why the Luke verse? Because THIS LITTLE BOY IS CALLED LUKE! This obviously means that the Obi-Wank heretic is directly opposing the BIBLE when he goes on to seduce this boy in the next episode, "The Return of the Jedi".



Will I keep watching? Obviously, as I need to gather enough data to write Sarah Palin about this and then she can ban this show.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Dennis Lukes]

It's all just a bunch of SJW commie propaganda. Clearly the character Bail Orgasma, a Democrat Senator, intends to introduce lightsaber control legislation after Darth Vader heroically slaughters the Jedi insurgents-in-training with his laser sword. The black negress, Third Sistah, survived the massacre by hiding under the corpses of her classmates in a clear and obvious parallel with the Uvalde school shooting (did the Jews have advance warning of that brown-on-brown immigrant rampage, like they did with 9/11?) Third Sistah, who was only able to get the job of Grand Inquisitor by killing the position's white male occupant and stealing his place (equal opportunity employment) is herself cut down while resisting arrest by law enforcement (Mr. Vader), blatantly setting up a Black Lives Matter protest in the finale episode. Considering what flies in Walt Disney Studios, Jew-controlled Hollywood, and the Biden administration, don't be surprised by the explicit, unsimulated child porn scene between Leia and Luke.

[Elmer G. White]

Having just watched the dreadful plot of the apparently final episode of the Obi-Wank Saga I am now ready to give the Christian Audience my recap and verdict. Unfortunately - but I must admit in a realistic manner - on Earth good does not always reign over evil - and that is what also took place in the Obi-Wank story, as follows:

The plot of the final episode is complicated and involves lots of different points of view. Anyway, the Hamite uppity woman is once again on the side of Law and Order and tries to kill a disobedient child (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) called Luke (I've mentioned this before and it is still disgusting to name a false Force-God worshiping child with the name of an Evangelist) as she should. Meanwhile, the Obi-Wank once again attacks the police chief Mr. Vader but shows his cowardice by not killing him. Instead, Mr. Vader is wounded and fortunately survives to assist Jesus in decimating the false demon worshiping Jedi. I surmise and this series will get Season 2 and Mr. Vader will eventually kill Obi-Wank.



Meanwhile, the uppity half child goes home and dresses in men's clothing. She will probably also perish but end up in Hellfire because of these sinful misdemeanors.



Deuteronomy 22:5
The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Then, in the final scenes we finally see what this series finale is all about - seducing kiddies into false religions and fornication. Obi-Wank meets the manchild Luke and the gleam in his eyes reveals that it is Anal sodomy that the Jedi are seeking. The dialogue quite efficiently captures the unnatural lust that Obi-Wank is harboring within his corrupted soul.



"Hello, there!" Obi-Wank says with a sweet low masculine voice, with just the alluring overtones that Catlick false Priests use to gain the trust of their altar boys. His bisexual (just look at his name, for God's sake!) tendencies are giving way to male-on-male sodomistic urges. I would not be surprised if this demonchild grew up to worship the Jedi and the "Force", as well. Remains to be seen, as any further developments of this story remain in obscurity.

A nice touch, though: In the final scene Jesus also appears and it is possible that He will guide Obi-Wank to the narrow lane of Redemption® in case he has not blasphemed against the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12:31) yet.



My verdict:

• Will I keep watching? I dunno... It is possible that this was the end of the series but who can tell? I am not very interested in seeing the love scenes between Obi-Wank and the "Luke" boy but if necessary, I will assess any future episodes to keep y'all safe!
• The Good Guys DID survive and it is possible that Jesus helped Mr. Vader recover from the dreadful wounds.
• The are many Biblical allusions (Luke, etc.) but the Bible is much nicer and more clear in its condemnation of any false believers.
• From the purely technical viewpoint of cinematography, special miniature effects and plot tension I liked the show more than I would have wanted to. I'll have to Pray on this.
• My grade: C-. Had Mr. Vader defeated Obi-Wank for good, I'd have considered C+.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer