[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Being Sheriff feels even better than I imagined it would.

This afternoon I did my first rural patrol to check up on the good citizens of our county and already I am uprooting criminals.

I was going down the old dirt road out by Carver's farm and I spotted a badly parked car along the shoulder.

Two people bundled up in coats and scarves were standing in the ditch with what looked like wreathes in their hands.

I turned on my lights and chirped my siren to alert them that they should stop their suspicious activity.

It's really cold out there so I rolled down my window part way to question the suspects.

"What are you doing parked on the side of a country road standing in the ditch with wreaths?"

The couple were probably in their late 40s and explained that today was the first anniversary of their daughter's death in a car wreck at this very spot.

It was the O'Malley family, I remembered the story now. Their daughter was a Catholic whore who was probably drunk on communion wine the night she went careening off the icy road and into the oak tree under which a lone white cross now stood.

I thought about it for a moment and then asked, "Do you ever think that had you not raised your daughter in the devil's church that she might still be alive today?"

The two Mary worshipers didn't say anything, they just stood their with their mouths open staring at me.

"I'm just saying, God generally doesn't kill people when they worship Him the right way."

They began to protest and I could tell they were being controlled by their emotions.

My nose was starting to get cold and I didn't want to argue anymore so I ticketed them for littering and trespassing on property that either belongs to the county or a farmer.

They were both trying to get sympathy by crying but I'd have none of that. I made them take their blasphemous catholic ornaments, including the white cross, with them.

It's frightening to think about how much people were getting away with out in the country before I was elected Sheriff.

Over and out.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Might not hurt to go check that ditch after the snow melts and make sure they didn't leave any other litter there.

BTW, was there any ditch weed in the vicinity? The dead daughter ruse might have been cover story for their dope operation . . .

[Bobby-Joe]

About time Sheriff. The papist trash on the side of the road is getting out of hand in Freehold. Everyone time sinner dies it's raise a little memorial to them. About time we TRUE Christians fought back and took our county back!

[James Hutchins]

I am surprised you did not arrest them for trespass and littering. That was not their property to be walking on and defacing.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

I am surprised you did not arrest them for trespass and littering. That was not their property to be walking on and defacing.

Like I said, it was too cold to get out of the cruiser. That wind is brutal.

[Nathan B. Forrest]

Nice job Officer Don!! Perhaps it's time to get you a new police cruiser if you're gonna be doing all this patrolling? Maybe something with heated leather seats for these cold winters and a nice full-power moonroof for those warm summer days?

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards

Like I said, it was too cold to get out of the cruiser. That wind is brutal.

Makes sense.

I made the post while driving up 95 through Miami, so cold weather was not on my mind. Now here in Buffalo, I know just what you mean.

I want to apologize for my tone in that post, I hope I did not come across like I was questioned the eagle eyed judgment of the law. I was merely asking curious question.

[SUV]

I just KNOW™ that SHANE was involved here somewhere!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Officer, are you sure their real last name is O'Malley?

I mean leaving flowers and a cross (littering) on the side of the road and being catlick sounds awfully Third World, beanerish to me.

You should pay them another visit to make sure they are real Americans and not filthy, dirty, free-loading, lying illegal Messicants.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Dogs use those wreaths to mark territory.

I don't like that because it's unnatural. In their native environment, dogs would use fire hydrants or fence posts.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

The last time I was in town, there was litter all over the sides of the county roads. It was disgusting. Broken glass, cigarette butts, unwanted babies, empty Big Gulps, even dirty diapers.

I'm glad to see that Sheriff Richards is getting out there and cleaning things up! Did Freehold buy him a nice pickup to haul the garbage in? I can't imagine a police cruiser would be appropriate given the sheer number of dirty, wet mattresses I recall seeing near a certain trailer court in Jenkins Flats.