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Default You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 08-20-2012, 11:03 PM

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

You're unsaved trash who believes the Earth is round, that homosexuality is natural, and that the government should force women to have abortions.

Face it, after a sinful life of being told you were nothing but primordial soup who evolved from a monkey, it is a divine miracle that you've arrived at Landover Baptist rather than the nearest high school with a gun.

After all, how were you to know it would be wrong to massacre your fellow organisms with a gun?

JESUS has brought you here to be instructed in the ways of gentle Christian humility and CHRIST-centered living.

Before you start mouthing off at us, take a moment to thank us for going out of our way to establish this church for the GLORY OF GOD and the purpose of teaching you right from wrong.

The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. - Psalms 14:1

Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. - Proverbs 19:20

Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. - 1 John 3:9



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 08-21-2012, 07:40 AM

Amen, brother.

Without God I was raising my children by trying to reason with them and by setting good examples of what I thought was the right way for them to behave towards strangers. I shamefacedly confess that I even told them to be tolerant to unbelievers and faggots. They would sometimes answer me back and I would patiently explain why I was taking the stance I was adopting and what the benefits of agreeing with me were. I even at times conceded they had a point!

It's only when you write it down it sounds so despicable.

Now I have Jesus to guide me through His word. They get a good whack if they so much as look at me the wrong way and they are in no doubt as to what will happen to them if they don't honour me or if they curse me. The reality that God will have them killed if they defy me is there in back and white on their bedroom walls. They also now know Hell is a real place where they are going if they don't do the bidding of the Lord.

Yes there was some transitional stubbornness but it was the summer break so there were no interfering teachers while the stripes faded.

Praise Jesus but things are a lot quieter round the house now and their little shining faces while they kneel to Jesus before bed and beg Him not to kill them before they are properly saved so they don't have to go to Hell are a joy to behold.

GLORY!



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 08-21-2012, 09:11 AM

Before I started my walk with Christ I was in a marriage where I thought my wife was my equal. We would share the house hold tasks and I listened to her opinion and we walked together as one in all things.

Just thinking about it makes me sick.

Thank God I found Jesus as she is gone.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 08-23-2012, 04:35 PM

Back when I was an NIV-reading liberal false Christian, I thought that surely God (for at the time I worshiped the demon Shirley God and not the One True God) approved of my tolerance for sodomites and other hellbound trash. I didn't realize how unspeakably cruel I was to them by letting them slide off into the lake of fire instead of telling them about Christ's get-out-of-hell card. I hereby publicly apologize to all sodomites to whom I showed tolerance instead of the rebuke that proper Christian love would have prompted me to give.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 08-23-2012, 05:06 PM

Before I was Saved®, I was 'dipping into every pool' that was still warm. Age/gender meant little. I did know enough to mot mix the races though. An 8-ball of coke, a few grand in my pocket and I was all set for a night out.
At my bottom, I 'did it' with a couple of bridesmaids, mother of the bride and the best man at the wedding. When I had finished, I noticed Jesus looking at me and smiling. I thought he was just a friend of some bridesmaid and told him I was to tired but to leave me his number. With that I passed out. The following day some wetback washing the floor woke me. I found that fellows number, written inside of the KJV Bible. The inscription simply said "Call me Jesus".
Well that afternoon on my honeymoon, I read that book, the mighty KJV. I thought about how my life had been filled with drugs, mind-numbing sex and utter disdain for common decency. What could I do? I was surrounded by it. My new bride put the 'K' in kinky. My best friend was one of the largest coke importers on the eastern seaboard. I was creating a mutual fund that was netting me over $1mm a year and I was just 17.
As a gift to my bride and me, her father gave us 10,000 acres of prime farmland in the Shenandoah mountains. A few weeks after we returned, my wifes father died in a drowning accident while washing his Mercedes. Apparently he tried to get a drink of water from the hose of the pressure washer and it blew the back of his skull clean off like you might see from a 45 magnum.
Devastated, my wife and I took her fathers cleaned Mercedes to visit the land. I had been having a hard time sleeping the last few weeks. The words "Call me Jesus" were haunting me. I was so tired, yet sleep was no where to be found. I lay down on the couch in the study of the farmhouse and my wife, frustrated with boredom, said she was going out to the barn to see the bulls. Somehow, after a fifth of Glendfich, I managed to drift off. "Call me Jesus".
I woke the next day and had a healthy breakfast of country ham, home fries, four fried in lard eggs, gravy, biscuits and a double short stack. I called out to me wife and did not get an answer. I decided to go into town to get some cleaning supplies. I fired up the big Mercedes and took off on the 40 mile drive. I saw a billboard - "Jesus Wants You". It made me think. Maybe a simple country life would be a good thing. I pulled over and stared at the sign for many hours, until dusk. "Call me Jesus" - How can I call Him? I do not have His number.
I drove back to the farm and called out to my wife. No answer. I asked the farmhands if they saw her but the response was beaner "No spekeglingis". After a few more days, I left the farm and went back into town. I went to the Baptist Church. I told the Pastor that Jesus wants me to call Him. I explained to the Pastor about my wife and all my troubles. He told me Jesus was everywhere. I just needed to call out to Him!!!
Well, I stopped the drugs, the wild sex parties. I studied more about Jesus. I learned what He expected of me and what I could expect back from Him. My wife was never found. It was thought that she ran off with Hippies to South America. It was not until years later that it was discovered she had fallen down a closed off well, probably shortly after she went to the barn to see the bulls. She had survived for days, weeks possibly as the claw marks in the sides of the well made it right to the top of the well.
Ever day now I call Jesus for the guidance I need to do what He wants of me.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 08-23-2012, 05:45 PM

Brother James, your testimony has touched me in a very dear way. You are such a great Christian to look up to, and we can all only aspire to be as influential of a Christian as you are. Your crown in Heaven will truly be awe-inspiring.


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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 08-24-2012, 11:45 PM

People without morals make me sick. Jesus gave all of us a great example to follow and they just spit in his face. He died for them on the cross and they just mock him by voting for Obama. He gave His life to all those who want to join Him in Heaven and they just prefer having anal sex with little children all day instead. And they don't even realize how horrible that is because they have no morals! People without morals make me sick!


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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 09-14-2013, 08:30 PM

> Hello, God has led me to this information . PLEASE RESPOND ASAP to this email . Life on earth is a blessing even tho their is so much evil going on in this world. I was born a christian and will die a christian and let me personally say the lord has gave me a 2nd chance in my life. I run track and I am currently the 800m national champion, I just came back from the junior olympics this summer . Its like omg the lord is changing my life before my eyes he has put me in a new home and is carving my destiny but let me say iam a sinner, iam looking for help with coping with my lustful actions and my big ego please help me be more humble and not proud and this is one of the things the lord has punished me with ACNE !!!! I mean its just horrible not that bad of Acne but it seems like it wont go away im only 16 and its mentally stressful for me in just about everyday situation i just want to commit to Jesus and get rid of this embarrassing flaws on my face. please give me advice i
> just read that form "Acne is the Devils mark" I read it all and it all makes sense ! I think my connection with god is very good but In my conscience Iam still sinning and basicly mocking the lord trying taking his gift for granted to manipulate women and lust, he has given me everything but he is punishing me with acne untill i realize what i have done thats what i think . My life story is so bizarre its crazy. I just want to vent to you please reply #GodBless
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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 09-14-2013, 08:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born_Blessed View Post
> Hello, God has led me to this information . PLEASE RESPOND ASAP to this email . Life on earth is a blessing even tho their is so much evil going on in this world. I was born a christian and will die a christian and let me personally say the lord has gave me a 2nd chance in my life. I run track and I am currently the 800m national champion, I just came back from the junior olympics this summer . Its like omg the lord is changing my life before my eyes he has put me in a new home and is carving my destiny but let me say iam a sinner, iam looking for help with coping with my lustful actions and my big ego please help me be more humble and not proud and this is one of the things the lord has punished me with ACNE !!!! I mean its just horrible not that bad of Acne but it seems like it wont go away im only 16 and its mentally stressful for me in just about everyday situation i just want to commit to Jesus and get rid of this embarrassing flaws on my face. please give me advice i
> just read that form "Acne is the Devils mark" I read it all and it all makes sense ! I think my connection with god is very good but In my conscience Iam still sinning and basicly mocking the lord trying taking his gift for granted to manipulate women and lust, he has given me everything but he is punishing me with acne untill i realize what i have done thats what i think . My life story is so bizarre its crazy. I just want to vent to you please reply #GodBless
Why are you posting the same thing all over this Godly forum? Are you one of those retardeds?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 09-14-2013, 09:22 PM



This thread is amazing. I am not sure how I missed it before, but I'm glad that it was brought back to the forefront today.

I had just left a friend's house because he insisted on watching Fashion Police and their coverage of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week when I wanted to watch baseball. It wasn't such a big deal until I realized he knew who everyone was wearing before the announcers said it. A huge red flag went off in my head with the words "UNSAVED FAGGOT" emblazoned across it, so I quickly rose and went to the door, slammed it (effectively), screamed "Enjoy hell, fairy boy," and came home to the solace of God's Favorite Forum.

Reading the testimonies of TRUE CHRISTIANS has further opened my eyes to the desperate situation my soul was in until I found Landover and its never-ending group of people that Jesus has on speed dial. To think that only a few short weeks ago I would have stayed to watch as Oscar de la Renta and Vera Wang designs walked down that runway! I would have been ooohing and aaaaahing over fag and lezzybun satanic textiles, possibly sipping a cosmo and eating finger sandwiches. I would have been crossing myself when a Chanel bag perfectly matched someone's gown. And, perhaps worst of all, I would have left in time to make it to Saturday afternoon confession and mass, eaten a Jesus cracker with stale grape juice, dipped my finger in the urine of lucifer found at the front of the church, and then went on to sin until the following weekend.

I am not sure how or why you people welcomed me, took time to chastise, sanction, give me infractions, and made me feel like a stupid cathylick ex-fag, but you did. PRAISE JESUS. Someone shout GLORY! (Please)

I hope more True Christians will add something to this thread, since it is only by your words that those of us that strive to have that trademark by our names will ever know enough to deserve it.

GOD BLESS AMERICA and GOD BLESS LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH.

In fellowship,
Brother Larry
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Donovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 09-15-2013, 06:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Larry View Post


This thread is amazing. I am not sure how I missed it before, but I'm glad that it was brought back to the forefront today.

I had just left a friend's house because he insisted on watching Fashion Police and their coverage of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week when I wanted to watch baseball. It wasn't such a big deal until I realized he knew who everyone was wearing before the announcers said it. A huge red flag went off in my head with the words "UNSAVED FAGGOT" emblazoned across it, so I quickly rose and went to the door, slammed it (effectively), screamed "Enjoy hell, fairy boy," and came home to the solace of God's Favorite Forum.

Reading the testimonies of TRUE CHRISTIANS has further opened my eyes to the desperate situation my soul was in until I found Landover and its never-ending group of people that Jesus has on speed dial. To think that only a few short weeks ago I would have stayed to watch as Oscar de la Renta and Vera Wang designs walked down that runway! I would have been ooohing and aaaaahing over fag and lezzybun satanic textiles, possibly sipping a cosmo and eating finger sandwiches. I would have been crossing myself when a Chanel bag perfectly matched someone's gown. And, perhaps worst of all, I would have left in time to make it to Saturday afternoon confession and mass, eaten a Jesus cracker with stale grape juice, dipped my finger in the urine of lucifer found at the front of the church, and then went on to sin until the following weekend.

I am not sure how or why you people welcomed me, took time to chastise, sanction, give me infractions, and made me feel like a stupid cathylick ex-fag, but you did. PRAISE JESUS. Someone shout GLORY! (Please)

I hope more True Christians will add something to this thread, since it is only by your words that those of us that strive to have that trademark by our names will ever know enough to deserve it.

GOD BLESS AMERICA and GOD BLESS LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH.

In fellowship,
Brother Larry
Brevity is the soul of wit, Brother Larry. Please keep the rimming succinct, except when it comes to Jesus, He can't get enough flattery.

God Bless

DAM


Psalm 137:8-9 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.



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Default Re: You Knew NOTHING Of Morality Before You Came Here - 09-15-2013, 07:11 AM

Sage advice, Brother Mordecai. I once got a little tipsy and spent over ten minutes toasting Pastor Zeke. You should have seen how angry he got! He told me that for every one minute I'd wasted praising him, I needed to spend one full day in my prayer closet, praising Jesus.


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