[Pastor Ezekiel]

Freehold, Iowa - Decent Christian Americans are thanking God for single Baptist mother, home school teacher, and Mike Huckabee campaigner, Ms. Tawny Huxton, who came home from Wal-Mart last week to find her teenage daughter, Holly, and her girlfriends laying on the couch in the family room with their skirts over their heads. When Ms. Huxton approached for a closer look, she could see tiny infra-red beams of light coming directly out from between each of the young ladies' legs. "I yelled, WHAT IN THE SWEET NAME OF JESUS?!" Ms. Huxton recalls. "When they saw me standing there, they screamed and pulled the Wii controllers I bought Holly for Christmas out from between their legs! Then they tried to hide them under the cushions while they were fiddling with their skirts."

The next day, while her daughter was at Sunday School, Ms. Huxton put the wet controllers in a plastic bag and packaged up the Wii console. She brought them to Pastor Deacon Fred, who after opening the bag to take a quick whiff, immediately delivered them to the Landover Baptist Secular Media Research Laboratory.

"When we confirmed there were vaginal secretions on the video game controllers, we issued a Yellow Action Alert to Focus on the Family," said Professor Dr. Donald Rawlings. "We also contacted our Christian friend in Japan, Masaru Hayate, to see if he could provide us with more details about the popular Wii video game console. In addition, our researchers started reviewing Japanimation films and Asian adult videos, searching desperately for more information."

After several days, researchers were able to confirm what their Christian intuition had already been telling them. "'Oriental woman use the exclamation, 'Wii,' when they experience extreme pleasure during a sexual encounter outside of marriage," Dr. Rawlings reports. "In many cases the term is also exaggerated or drawn out. For example: 'Wiiiiii!' Our friend in Japan tells us that Wii consoles and their vibrating controllers are found in brothels, sex-shops, and gentleman's clubs - or 'strip parlors,' throughout the island of Japan."

"The Japs are at it again," Pastor Deacon Fred told church members on Sunday. "I let President Bush know from the very beginning that he needs to keep a keen eye on our so-called Asian allies to the East. They still hold a grudge against our Christian Nation because Jesus let us blow up their cities in World War II. We should have seen this coming, since the name of the console itself is an anagram for WWII. They were just trying to be fiendishly subtle, by dropping the first 'W' and calling it WII," he said. "Friends, we can't drop our guard on the Japs. They used Pokémon to get at our children in the 90's, and since we were savvy enough to call their bluff on that nonsense, they began working on another way to destroy our Godly country from the inside out! The Wii gaming system comes off as neatly packaged family fun, but the Devil's fingerprints are all over it!"

Pastor Deacon Fred issued an official press release earlier this week forbidding the ownership of Wii game consoles by any member of the Landover Baptist Church or its affiliated ministries. "Ms. Huxton's daughter, Holly, and her friends will be sent to North Dakota to our sequestered institution for Christian Homemakers and Dementia Ward this Spring," said Pastor. "We thank God that He has revealed to us what this so-called, "Wii" video game system is really all about, but someone has to be punished for it," he further stated. "Young ladies are not like men, the Bible teaches us through the story of 'Eve,' that their fickle minds are easily led astray by Satan's trickery. Holly and her friends will be spared further temptation by spending the next three years in isolation. With no electricity, running water, or access to anything that fits between their legs, they will have plenty of time to think about what they did to soil their mother's reputation and drag our congregation's good name through the mud!

[Juliette]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Wii

Some image to visualize this interesting article:

[Glendora Christianson]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

"The Japs are at it again," Pastor Deacon Fred

I did some of my own investigation, and found this interesting video. Although the young lady does not appear to have any part embedded in her cooter, she sure sounds like she's having some M activity. Perhaps it's a wireless device? Regardless, it has become obvious what types go for the Wii!

[Mr.Rastaman]

The Wii is a device made of win and good. high five it.

[WowSomeoneIsCrazy]

So if someone uses something in a bad way, that makes the thing bad? I think we should acknowledge the fact that it was the girl's that used the Wii for "bad" purposes, not the other way around.
That's kind of like an analogy for this entire website- something as clean and pure as the Bible is being abused and twisted to fit the agenda of such an angry, vicious, and sorry crowd of poor, misguided unfortunates.

I'll be praying for you all.

And three years of isolation for there one small misstep? Subjecting these girls to psychological terror won't help in the least bit. When Jesus died for us, for all the sins of everyone in the world, he died as a sacrafice for us- so we could one day be with him and wouldn't be punished.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by WowSomeoneIsCrazy

So if someone uses something in a bad way, that makes the thing bad?

If that "bad way" is clearly the purpose which it was manufactured for, then yes!

I think we should acknowledge the fact that it was the girl's that used the Wii for "bad" purposes, not the other way around.
That's kind of like an analogy for this entire website- something as clean and pure as the Bible is being abused and twisted to fit the agenda of such an angry, vicious, and sorry crowd of poor, misguided unfortunates.

Where have we twisted the Bible's message?

I'll be praying for you all.

Same here. You and every other pitiful child who has fallen victim to the Nipponese curse of the wii.

And three years of isolation for there one small misstep? Subjecting these girls to psychological terror won't help in the least bit. When Jesus died for us, for all the sins of everyone in the world, he died as a sacrafice for us- so we could one day be with him and wouldn't be punished.

Yes, we won't be punished IF WE REPENT. The repentance part is vital.

[WowSomeoneIsCrazy]

If that "bad way" is clearly the purpose which it was manufactured for, then yes!

How is the Wii and more manufactured for commiting sexual sin then a human finger is, perhaps?

Where have we twisted the Bible's message?

Well, spreading this ideaology of self-righteous hate is quite different from Jesus' teachings of love for your nieghbor.

Same here. You and every other pitiful child who has fallen victim to the Nipponese curse of the wii.


That's quite an assumption to make. You don't know me- how am I pitiful? I don't use a Wii to pleasure myself, so how am I doing anything bad?


Yes, we won't be punished IF WE REPENT. The repentance part is vital.

So locking someone up for three years is THE ONLY way to repent? Hmmmm.... I beg to differ... Support from family and friends and a discussion with them about what they've done wrong seems like a better solution to me. Holly's mom seems like a responsible Christian adult.

[WowSomeoneIsCrazy]

Don’t you think you should be praying that Jesus helps these two girls to escape Satan’s depraved clutches before their self pollution destroys them?

YES, and I will- I'll be praying for them- FOR THEM. I believe that the sin started in them and they used a mere plastic playtoy as their tool- a toy that is designed to ENTERTAIN. Lot's of things entertain people- Books, knitting, pencils and paper, rocks, sticks, slingshots.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by WowSomeoneIsCrazy

If that "bad way" is clearly the purpose which it was manufactured for, then yes!

How is the Wii and more manufactured for commiting sexual sin then a human finger is, perhaps?

The human finger was made by GOD! In His image! Did you just compare a perverted yellow demon to the Lord God Himself?

Where have we twisted the Bible's message?

Well, spreading this ideaology of self-righteous hate is quite different from Jesus' teachings of love for your nieghbor.

Friend, we are all about love for our neighbours.

That's quite an assumption to make. You don't know me- how am I pitiful? I don't use a Wii to pleasure myself, so how am I doing anything bad?

Assumptions? We're not the ones who throw around terms like "an angry, vicious, and sorry crowd of poor, misguided unfortunates." You don't know us, so how are we an angry, vicious, and sorry crowd of poor, misguided unfortunates? And by defending sinners, you are siding with them. Repent now!

Holly's mom seems like a responsible Christian adult.

Well, I'm glad there's something we can agree on.

[Brian Payne]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

If that "bad way" is clearly the purpose which it was manufactured for, then yes!

No, it was not intended to be bad, thats just what some people do with it. Were airplanes supposed to kill people? nope just faster transportation. Just cause someone killed someone with it doesnt make airplanes evil, promote anal sex, homos, rainbows, or any other stuff.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by WowSomeoneIsCrazy

So if someone uses something in a bad way, that makes the thing bad? I think we should acknowledge the fact that it was the girl's that used the Wii for "bad" purposes, not the other way around.

Friend, I think that is the point of Pastor Zeke’s article that Wii is nothing more than attempt by secularist to hide their degeneracy in broad daylight as a child’s “game”

Don’t you think encouraging children to touch themselves wrong friend?

Originally Posted by WowSomeoneIsCrazy

That's kind of like an analogy for this entire website- something as clean and pure as the Bible is being abused and twisted to fit the agenda of such an angry, vicious, and sorry crowd of poor, misguided unfortunates.

Now that is an awful thing to say about us friend! All we are doing is living the lives God wants us to and you call us twisted. That is hateful and viscous!

Originally Posted by WowSomeoneIsCrazy

I'll be praying for you all.

And I will we be praying for you too sir. Further more are you are forgiven for saying those awful things you just said about us.

Originally Posted by WowSomeoneIsCrazy

And three years of isolation for there one small misstep? Subjecting these girls to psychological terror won't help in the least bit. When Jesus died for us, for all the sins of everyone in the world, he died as a sacrafice for us- so we could one day be with him and wouldn't be punished.

Were do you get the idea those poor little teenage girls will be terrorized? They are going to be helped for their awful sex addiction that disgusting game gave them. Would you rather they roll around in the streets fornicating like barnyard animals? Freehold is a good Christian community and we take care of our children and help them when they have problems.

Don’t you think you should be praying that Jesus helps these two girls to escape Satan’s depraved clutches before their self pollution destroys them?

[DarkLich]

That article, and anyone who literaly thinks the Wii is evil has some major issues in the brain.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by DarkLich

That article, and anyone who literaly thinks the Wii is evil has some major issues in the brain.

Did you bother to read any of what we discussed in this thread before you hauled off with your knee jerk flame? That's were we discussed in detail why we say the Wii is dangerous.

[DarkLich]

Yupp, indeed I wasted about 20 minutes reading through all your retarded posts.

Annnnd....just now I realized this place is a Christian website. Gahh, it was actually pretty funny...

[PopeOfTheHomers]

I have read you conversation up to this point and have a few this to say:
WIIIIII: is not oriental for anything. mostly because oriental is not a language. WIIII is simply an exclamation someone says in excitement not just when they are having an orgasm because if that is true then roller coasters are the worlds biggest inducers of orgasms Ive ever seen.

Second: Unless there is something Im missing here people with normal human vision cannot see IR beams. It is not possible to see them period end of story.

Third: you making saying hurtful things to people because they believe in something other than what you believe in is ignorant we all have a right to believe what we want and not be made fun of for it.

Fourth: Yes the Wii may not have been made to worship Jesus and Thats okay because NEWS FLASH not every one believes in Jesus accept it.

Fifth: Because some one misused something does not make it evil. If some one takes medicine because they cant sleep at night for a medical reason this is good the person is alert and awake in the morning.(and if you think this is a bad thing how would you feel if the pilot of the plane you and your family are on needed these medications and was denied them because they where "evil") And some one takes them to get high are two very different situations and need to be thought of in very different ways. I don't know about you but I would want the pilot of my plane that me and my family where on well rested and alert when he was flying it wouldn't you?

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by PopeOfTheGamers

Third: you making saying hurtful things to people because they believe in something other than what you believe in is ignorant we all have a right to believe what we want and not be made fun of for it.

Where does this right to not be made fun of come from? The Bible? The Constitution?

Fourth: Yes the Wii may not have been made to worship Jesus and Thats okay because NEWS FLASH not every one believes in Jesus accept it.

Friend, you may be able to accept the fact that billions of people are bound for eternal torture in Hell, but we cannot.

Fifth: Because some one misused something does not make it evil. If some one takes medicine because they cant sleep at night for a medical reason this is good the person is alert and awake in the morning.(and if you think this is a bad thing how would you feel if the pilot of the plane you and your family are on needed these medications and was denied them because they where "evil") And some one takes them to get high are two very different situations and need to be thought of in very different ways. I don't know about you but I would want the pilot of my plane that me and my family where on well rested and alert when he was flying it wouldn't you?

Bah. All that pilot needs is to pray for Jesus to guide him and he'll be fine. Like this guy.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by PopeOfTheGamers

Fourth: Yes the Wii may not have been made to worship Jesus and Thats okay because NEWS FLASH not every one believes in Jesus accept it.

In Freehold, Iowa by law everyone believes in Jesus, like these girl's family. The issue is it appropriate for Christians to own a Wii and is it a sin to own one. Masturbation certainly is a sin.

So do you have anything else ignorant to say since you can't be troubled to understand anyone else? I could use the laugh.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Why on earth are you glad to be a Christ-Killing Kike who's going to Hell? From eating gefilte fish to celebrating the fact of your own damnation, nothing you crazy yids do makes any sense.

Latkes are pretty good. They are like pancakes made out of hashbrowns and other fixings.

Of course, you don't have to be Jewish to like them. In fact, it's probably better if you aren't Jewish, because I like mine with cheese and bacon.

[PopeOfTheHomers]

"In Freehold, Iowa by law everyone believes in Jesus, like these girl's family. The issue is it appropriate for Christians to own a Wii and is it a sin to own one. Masturbation certainly is a sin."

You cant force some one by law to believe in Jesus. Even if such a law where to exist the constitution says we have a right to religious freedom therefor surpassing any and all laws passed by a local government.

PS I would still like to know how the Lady saw the IR beams...

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by DarkLich

That article, and anyone who literaly thinks the Wii is evil has some major issues in the brain.

So you're a brainologist? Can your brain studies explain away the homosexual agenda's use of Nintendo's mascot? And how do you explain the latest Wii game, which Fox News describes as "Luke Skywalker meets Debbie Does Dallas"?