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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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I Don't Need a Presidential Pardon but It's Rude to Refuse -
12-03-2020, 04:31 AM
Hi there, my sheep. I'm still in the Philippines, there are tough negotiations going on with my pal President Duterte. We are doing some real estate stuff in case a good AMERICAN Friend of mine who's been mistreated and stolen his life's work recently decides to come over and spend his twilight years over here. I might return any day, but first I need to do a bold sacrifice and take the dreaded Covid-shot for you. Did ya'll hear! I'll take this demon bullet for you and fight the antichristbody demons within me to see if your souls can survive it when the new commie government of the former U.S. of A. makes it mandatory. It's Jesus testing us as always. But no worries, I have a good flock of 14-yo houseboys here to service my every spiritual need. The food is also very good.
I know that you've been praying for Prez D. to pardon me. Ya'll also know that I don't need it and that the irregularities of importing houseboys never happened. But. My innocence could be stolen from me by fraud documents that are piling up. So I've decided to accepts the Prez D's kind offer for a pardon. This means that by February, inoculated against any commie influence, I'll be returning. I'm ready for my 2024 campaign. I need the jet. I expect everything to be spick&span including my septic tank. I also expect Freehold authorities to take care of the Pardon Paperwork and send everything to me with stamps and seals and signatures. In blue ink, capische! Gotta go, the boys will be having a water polo tournament with me. Vote GOP. Keep up the fight. Tell Melanie that her hairdo needs updating. Tithe.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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