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Default Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 07:35 PM

Brothers & Sisters! Flying Spaghetti Monsterism poses a serious threat and we're not taking it seriously. Just last week I noted an Italian bulldozer festooned with Papist flags heading towards Freehold and that can only mean one thing - a spaghetti factory.

We've got a load on our shoulders now with the Trinity -
we don't need a Flying Spaghetti Monster on top of all three. Yet the atheists in Des Moines are promoting this cumbersome addition.

Praise Jesus that Bobby-Joe and Pastor Pistle turn the Landover artillery towards this abomination before it's too late.
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Lindh View Post

Brothers & Sisters! Flying Spaghetti Monsterism poses a serious threat and we're not taking it seriously. Just last week I noted an Italian bulldozer festooned with Papist flags heading towards Freehold and that can only mean one thing - a spaghetti factory.

We've got a load on our shoulders now with the Trinity -
we don't need a Flying Spaghetti Monster on top of all three. Yet the atheists in Des Moines are promoting this cumbersome addition.

Praise Jesus that Bobby-Joe and Pastor Pistle turn the Landover artillery towards this abomination before it's too late.
Not good news! Perhaps you yourself will be able to help consume the scourge with those impressive chompers of yours, brother! (night shift only, you wanna stay out of the sunlight, mind you)


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:23 PM

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is a Christ-denying atheist mockery of our holy faith. We at Landover have zero tolerance for those who would mock Our Lord.

Spaghetti isn't for ridiculing Jesus. It's for eating when we feel like treating ourselves to a sophisticated, upscale restaurant like the Olive Garden.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:25 PM

All hail the one who created the Mountian, the Tree, and the Midget!

AT LEAST HE PREACHES NOT PUSHING MORALS DOWN OTHER'S THROATS!
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metal Moses View Post
All hail the one who created the Mountian, the Tree, and the Midget!

AT LEAST HE PREACHES NOT PUSHING MORALS DOWN OTHER'S THROATS!
Yes, right friend. People claiming to have book dictated to them by invisible men that no one else can see. You expect us Christians to accept such story. No, Jesus sees right threw your lies.



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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:29 PM

I just finished a huge bowl of pesto spaghetti. Even I can conquer the spaghetti monster.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Yes, right friend. People claiming to have book dictated to them by invisible men that no one else can see. You expect us Christians to accept such story. No, Jesus sees right threw your lies.
Maybe if you actually read up on it, you would know that it is satire to a state's law to accept intelligent design. All fake, but at least they preach tolerance, unlike you all.
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metal Moses View Post
Maybe if you actually read up on it, you would know that it is satire to a state's law to accept intelligent design. All fake, but at least they preach tolerance, unlike you all.
Well as TRUE Christian™ friend, washed clean in The Lamb of Blood® of The Lord and my Salvation™ guaranteed or my money back I believe in THE TRUTH™ and I will not besmirch THE TRUTH™ with satire or parody sinner.

Religion friend, is a subject as serious as the fires of Hell and as real as the love of Jesus.



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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metal Moses View Post
Maybe if you actually read up on it, you would know that it is satire to a state's law to accept intelligent design. All fake, but at least they preach tolerance, unlike you all.
You stupid idiots are always knocking intelligent design. My favorite is when you state that there's nothing intelligent about poo coming out of your body. Well friend, if intelligent design wasn't there, your butthole would be on your forehead or somewhere near your mouth. But because of Intelligent Design it's tucked away nice and neat where no one can see it. It's the utmost in Christian modesty. Bunch of scoffers.
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metal Moses View Post

All hail the one who created the Mountian, the Tree, and the Midget!

AT LEAST HE PREACHES NOT PUSHING MORALS DOWN OTHER'S THROATS!
No, but his noodly appendage pushes spaghetti down people's throats, and spaghetti isn't GOD, it's an Italian pasta dish, you silly moses-imposter you!


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 08:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner View Post
You stupid idiots are always knocking intelligent design. My favorite is when you state that there's nothing intelligent about poo coming out of your body. Well friend, if intelligent design wasn't there, your butthole would be on your forehead or somewhere near your mouth. But because of Intelligent Design it's tucked away nice and neat where no one can see it. It's the utmost in Christian modesty. Bunch of scoffers.
I believe the term is "non-sequiter" for your argument.
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-16-2007, 09:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metal Moses View Post
I believe the term is "non-sequiter" for your argument.
Brother Deaner is saying that if humans were the products of random selection like you believe we would excrete with the same orifice we eat with . I also like to add if the world was a product of random chance then we would see all kinds of absurd things like talking snakes, the dead rising and the son standing still in the sky. Since we don’t we can be sure Jesus is real.



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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-17-2007, 09:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metal Moses View Post
All hail the one who created the Mountian, the Tree, and the Midget!

AT LEAST HE PREACHES NOT PUSHING MORALS DOWN OTHER'S THROATS!
MAY ALL BE TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!
seriously guys, thats exactly it, its a mockery of ALL religion, not just you.
don't take it personally
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-17-2007, 09:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Hate Fundies View Post
MAY ALL BE TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!
seriously guys, thats exactly it, its a mockery of ALL religion, not just you.
don't take it personally
People have worshipped false Gods for generations.
The only TRUE word is that of our Savior Jesus Christ.

He died (temporarily) for YOUR SINS



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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-17-2007, 11:16 AM

THIS secular story just came to my attention, and it only served to reinforce that these God-mockers are out to destroy Christianity. Just like those joos.

Quote:
Religious Scholars to Discuss ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’

When some of the world’s leading religious scholars gather in San Diego this weekend, pasta will be on the intellectual menu.

They’ll be talking about a satirical pseudo-deity called the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose growing pop-culture fame gets laughs but also raises serious questions about the essence of religion.

The appearance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on the agenda of the American Academy of Religion’s annual meeting gives a kind of scholarly imprimatur to a phenomenon that first emerged in 2005, during the debate in Kansas over whether intelligent design should be taught in public school sciences classes.

Supporters of intelligent design hold that the order and complexity of the universe is so great that science alone cannot explain it. The concept’s critics see it as faith masquerading as science.

An Oregon State physics graduate named Bobby Henderson stepped into the debate by sending a letter to the Kansas School Board.
With tongue in cheek, he purported to speak for 10 million followers of a being called the Flying Spaghetti Monster — and demanded equal time for their views.

“We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it,” Henderson wrote.

As for scientific evidence to the contrary, “what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage.”

The letter made the rounds on the Internet, prompting laughter from some and vilification from others.

But it struck a chord and stuck around. In the great tradition of satire, its humor was in fact a clever and effective argument.

Between the lines, the point of the letter was this: There’s no more scientific basis for intelligent design than there is for the idea an omniscient creature made of pasta created the universe.

If intelligent design supporters could demand equal time in a science class, why not anyone else? The only reasonable solution is to put nothing into sciences classes but the best available science.

“I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; one third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence,” Henderson sarcastically concluded.

Kansas eventually repealed guidelines questioning the theory of evolution.

Meanwhile, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSM-ism to its “adherents”) has thrived — particularly on college campuses and in Europe.

“Pastafarians” — as followers call themselves — can also download computer screen-savers and wallpaper (one says: “WWFSMD?”) and can sample photographs that show “visions” of the divinity himself.

It was the emergence of this community that attracted the attention of three young scholars at the University of Florida who study religion in popular culture.

They got to talking, and eventually managed to get a panel on FSM-ism on the agenda at one of the field’s most prestigious gatherings.

The title: “Evolutionary Controversy and a Side of Pasta: The Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Subversive Function of Religious divine revelation.”

“For a lot of people they’re just sort of fun responses to religion, or fun responses to organized religion. But I think it raises real questions about how people approach religion in their lives,” said Samuel Snyder, one of the three Florida graduate students who will give talks at the meeting next Monday along with Alyssa Beall of Syracuse University.

The presenters’ titles seem almost a divine revelation themselves of academic jargon.

Snyder will speak about “Holy Pasta and Authentic Sauce: The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Messy Implications for Theorizing Religion,” while Gavin Van Horn’s presentation is titled “Noodling around With Religion: Carnival Play, Monstrous Humor and the Noodly Master.”

Using a framework developed by literary critic Mikhail Bakhtin, Van Horn promises in his abstract to explore how, “in a carnivalesque fashion, the Flying Spaghetti Monster elevates the low (the bodily, the material, the inorganic) to bring down the high (the sacred, the religiously dogmatic, the culturally authoritative).”

The authors recognize the topic is a little light by the standards of the American Academy of Religion.

“You have to keep a sense of humor when you’re studying religion, especially in graduate school,” Van Horn said in a recent telephone interview. “Otherwise you’ll sink into depression pretty quickly.”

But they also insist it’s more than a joke.

Indeed, the tale of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its followers cuts to the heart of the one of the thorniest questions in religious studies: What defines a religion? Does it require a genuine theological belief? Or simply a set of rituals and a community joining together as a way of signaling their cultural alliances to others?

In short, is an anti-religion like Flying Spaghetti Monsterism actually a religion?

Joining them on the panel will be David Chidester, a prominent and controversial academic at the University of Cape Town in South Africa who is interested in precisely such questions.

He has urged scholars looking for insights into the place of religion in culture and psychology to explore a wider range of human activities.

His 2005 book “Authentic Fakes: Religion and American Popular Culture,” prompted wide debate about how far into popular culture religious studies scholars should venture.

Lucas Johnston, the third Florida student, argues the Flying Spaghetti Monsterism exhibits at least some of the traits of a traditional religion — including, perhaps, that deep human need to feel like there’s something bigger than oneself out there.

He recognized the point when his neighbor, a militant atheist who sports a pro-Darwin bumper sticker on her car, tried recently to start her car on a dying battery.

As she turned the key, she murmured under her breath: “Come on Spaghetti Monster!”
If there is one thing I hate, its a group of hateful know-it-alls who spend all their energy and time satirizing Christianity.

God will NOT be MOCKED!!

Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Exclamation Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 11-30-2007, 03:42 PM

Amazon is selling FSM car icons now. This should not be tolerated. Read about it here, and register your protest!

http://forums.slickdeals.net/showthr...42642&t=671666


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 12-02-2007, 07:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Hate Fundies View Post
MAY ALL BE TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!
seriously guys, thats exactly it, its a mockery of ALL religion, not just you.
don't take it personally
It is a personal mockery of Our Lord Jesus Christ, Saviour of the World and Son of God...of course we take it seriously.

Don't treat your dandruff and soon you will have snow on your shoulders...you get what I mean?

Be careful as to what you perceive to be amusing...there is no free laugh.


Professor Ogden

With the Holy Bible as your sole authority, you may, with a clear conscience, go into the world and act in ANY manner that will promulgate the Faith and the Name of Christianity

I am perfectly willing to give my life for my beliefs as well as yours.
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 12-02-2007, 08:29 PM

Baptist cultists with a leader named Past(a)or Al who is always in the sauce have some nerve calling the kettle black. Your 'Church' has more meatballs in it than the Chef Boyardee factory.




Bless you, my bad tippers,
Father Mo




A Cardinal in the making.

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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 12-03-2007, 10:31 AM

...dang do yall even watch tv?

flying spaghetti monster originated from South Park when they were doing an episode MAKING FUN OF ATHEISM, not christianity. they just brought up christianity in the episode to set the theme and plot of the episode of intelligent design vs evolution: which should be taught in school, and what the flaws are in both of them. and it happened to be a brilliant piece of work. they really are genius writers with a firm belief in that if everythings not ok to joke about, then nothings ok. thats as american as it gets. unlike you people who protest to amazon.com to try to remove FSM stickers because it "mocks your god"

what are you gonna do? suicide bomb them like the muslims did to denmark?
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Default Re: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - 12-03-2007, 10:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith+1 View Post
...dang do yall even watch tv?

flying spaghetti monster originated from South Park when they were doing an episode MAKING FUN OF ATHEISM, not christianity.
No it didn't.
Quote:
they just brought up christianity in the episode to set the theme and plot of the episode of intelligent design vs evolution: which should be taught in school, and what the flaws are in both of them. and it happened to be a brilliant piece of work. they really are genius writers with a firm belief in that if everythings not ok to joke about, then nothings ok. thats as american as it gets.
No, it is hateful, offensive, and unAmerican.
Quote:
unlike you people who protest to amazon.com to try to remove FSM stickers because it "mocks your god"

what are you gonna do? suicide bomb them like the muslims did to denmark?
When did the Muslims sucide bomb Denmark?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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