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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 04:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by miss Pauletta View Post
I do love me a bowl of popcorn every now and again....
That stuff is injun food. Please don't tell me that you're doubly cursed with savage injun blood mixed with your coon blood.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 04:19 AM

Popcorn makes it easy for even the smallest-stomached to engage in gluttony. They give the stuff to you in huge tubs, and to chomp it by the handful. Next thing you know you're sucking the grease off your fingers - engaging in oral-digital sex - and a few fall off onto the floor and you're all "five second rule" and eating off the floor like an animal, and then you fall alseep and when you wake up there's bits of popcorn stuck in folds of your belley and lovehandle-fat, and you're all "come on, it never even touched the floor" and then you're eating food that's been fried in your own skin-grease

That's what I've heard from popcorn eaters. Of course I've never touched the stuff.


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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 04:21 AM

What bothers me about popcorn is the way some men eat it.

When they grab big handfulls and force into their mouths, that's fine.

But when they pick up just a few pieces with their index and middle finger, and, the pinky finger is extented, it has a homer look to it and makes me very uncomfortable. I move to the other side of the room.

JJH


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 05:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
That stuff is injun food. Please don't tell me that you're doubly cursed with savage injun blood mixed with your coon blood.
Mercy me, I hope not! I know almost nothing of my father or his lineage, so I suppose it's technically possible. But I don't have routine urges to sacrifice my children to false forest spirits, and no White person has ever desired to set foot on my property, so all signs point to no.


Ezra 10:3 Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 05:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by miss Pauletta View Post
Mercy me, I hope not! I know almost nothing of my father or his lineage, so I suppose it's technically possible. But I don't have routine urges to sacrifice my children to false forest spirits, and no White person has ever desired to set foot on my property, so all signs point to no.
No I suppose you don't. The bucks never really stick around, do they.


Keep Praying, girl. That's about all you've got.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 03:41 PM

Brother Hatchet, please forgive me for thinking for myself, but have you ever considered that there might be a link between popcorn-eating and Onanism?

I can easily see how a person's butter-slickened fingers could move from the popcorn bucket further south; no other sinful lubricants necessary.


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 03:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Brother Hatchet, please forgive me for thinking for myself, but have you ever considered that there might be a link between popcorn-eating and Onanism?

I can easily see how a person's butter-slickened fingers could move from the popcorn bucket further south; no other sinful lubricants necessary.
If one is eating popcorn privately, I think the disgusting scenario you present is a perfectly logical consequence. You seem suspiciously well-versed on the subject. Did you use popcorn butter for self-gratification when you were once a lowly harlot?
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 05:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
If one is eating popcorn privately, I think the disgusting scenario you present is a perfectly logical consequence. You seem suspiciously well-versed on the subject. Did you use popcorn butter for self-gratification when you were once a lowly harlot?
Shameful as it is, yes.

In my unSaved© days, there was nothing I enjoyed better than going to the movie theater, buying a large tub of popcorn covered in fake butter, than taking a trip to the bathroom for some sinful, buttery pleasure. Eventually my addiction got so bad that I'd buy the tub, fill it completely with fake butter, and take it home with me, not caring about the looks I received.


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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An Open Question to All false christians.

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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 06:33 PM



Ugh. Formerly beeloved of me for his no-nonsense Tough Love, for the sake of our Wellness....

What do you know? Wilford Brimley is nothing but a God-Damned, (popcorn?)-Salt-Lake-City mormon.

Pass the barf bag, please
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 10:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
While conducting research here on this despicable man, I observed that his birthplace is "Brazil, Indiana." Well, which is it? Clearly his biographers are trying to spread confusion and disinformation about Redenbacher.
First off, I've never heard of anyone becoming sexually excited in response to popcorn.
Secondly, there is a place in Indiana named Brazil.


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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-05-2011, 11:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amara "Bambi" Madden View Post
Secondly, there is a place in Indiana named Brazil.
Your ignorance of geography is astounding.
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-06-2011, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Your ignorance of geography is astounding.
+1

It's amazing how careless academia has gotten with its lies. They know that they can just teach whatever they want to suit their liberal agenda and the mindless sheep students will believe it! Kids these days go around believing everything they're taught in public school; it's quite sad really. And now it's to the point where this bimbo actually believes Brazil is in Indiana. It's time to take a hint from us True Christian™ women and get back in the kitchen, darling!


Ezra 10:3 Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-06-2011, 12:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Your ignorance of geography is astounding.
1. http://www.brazil.in.gov/
2. http://www.thebraziltimes.com/
3. http://www.city-data.com/city/Brazil-Indiana.html
4. http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Brazil&state=IN
5. http://indiana.hometownlocator.com/in/clay/brazil.cfm
6. http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&rl...ed=0CBsQ8gEwAA

Quote:
Originally Posted by miss Pauletta
It's amazing how careless academia has gotten with its lies. They know that they can just teach whatever they want to suit their liberal agenda and the mindless sheep students will believe it! Kids these days go around believing everything they're taught in public school; it's quite sad really. And now it's to the point where this bimbo actually believes Brazil is in Indiana. It's time to take a hint from us True Christian™ women and get back in the kitchen, darling!
I wasn't talking about the country Brazil, I was talking about a city named Brazil that is, in fact, in Indiana.


Proverbs 15:17
Better [is] a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-06-2011, 03:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amara "Bambi" Madden View Post
That makes zero sense.
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-06-2011, 04:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
That makes zero sense.
What makes zero sense? The fact that a city in the US could have the same name as a country in South America?
Believe it or not, it's true.


Proverbs 15:17
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-06-2011, 05:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amara "Bambi" Madden View Post
What makes zero sense? The fact that a city in the US could have the same name as a country in South America?
Believe it or not, it's true.


So I suggest you pick yourself up a Holy BIBLE and stop reading secular maps or whatever, uh, DEER Bambi
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-07-2011, 04:33 AM

i looked on a map and no way brazil is in indiana. its also a much bigger country i mean indiana could fit in brazil but brazil cant fit in indiana. Thats like saying i keep my garage inside my car!!!!!




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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-07-2011, 01:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebuko the Clown View Post
i looked on a map and no way brazil is in indiana. its also a much bigger country i mean indiana could fit in brazil but brazil cant fit in indiana. Thats like saying i keep my garage inside my car!!!!!
Once again, I'm not talking about the country of Brazil.
From Google Maps:


Brazil, Indiana, area code: 47834
Just over 60 miles west of Indianapolis, Indiana

1. http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=...ed=0CBcQ8gEwAA
2. http://www.brazil.in.gov/
3. http://www.thebraziltimes.com/
4. http://www.city-data.com/city/Brazil-Indiana.html
5. http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Brazil&state=IN
6. http://indiana.hometownlocator.com/in/clay/brazil.cfm
7. http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&rl...ed=0CBsQ8gEwAA


Proverbs 15:17
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-07-2011, 02:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amara "Bambi" Madden View Post
Once again, I'm not talking about the country of Brazil.
From Google Maps:


What is the point to photoshop name of that country over some map you found from internet?
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Default Re: Orville Redenbacher: Evil Incarnate - 03-07-2011, 02:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
What is the point to photoshop name of that country over some map you found from internet?
I didn't photoshop anything.
Type "Brazil, Indiana" into Google and that will be the first thing that pops up.


Proverbs 15:17
Better [is] a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
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