[Faith_Machine]

Friends, an anonymous correspondent sent me the following video link, and I honestly don't know what to say about it.

As you'll see, it appears to depict our dear Pastor, Ezekiel Flint, involved in some kind of "suggestive" dance video, along with his lovely girlfriend, Daisy Mae, as well as Brother Bathfire, Sister Talitha, and even Mr. Cornelius Oldman!

I'm hoping this video was faked, and these trusted church members had absolutely nothing to do with it. I know you can pretty much fake anything with computers these days.

As for why it was created, and why it's being sent to other church members, I'm smelling a setup. If I receive a request for money, then we'll know this is all about blackmail.


To the blackmailer, I have this to say? Hah! My going public with your tawdry revelation has just deprived you of the ability to extort money from anybody who might have been hoping to keep this thing a secret.


See how that works, you filthy terrorist?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I would like to deny all knowledge of said video. A True Christian™ Pastor should not be seen in such filth.

[Jesus]

Pastor Ezekiel is free of sin. Criticizing him is tantamount to criticizing Me.

[I Man Rastafari]

I see no reason to criticize. In my home country which is Jamaica everyone is always singing and dancing. We are Negros after all and that is what we do.

[WWJDnow]

This video was obviously created by some atheist who's trying to make Christians look bad. Have they no shame?

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

It's clear to me, a lowly woman, that no Christian would ever involve in such lewd acts. Satan is simply getting desperate. Come, Lord Jesus, come!

[Faith_Machine]

EMERGENCY! The blackmailer has sent additional videos, and they are completely degrading.

WHERE IS THE DEPARTMENT OF FAITH, and why haven't they already back-traced the owner of this YouTube account?


This is utterly horrifying! First we have Pastor Zeke "rapping." I can't understand one word that comes out of his mouth, but I assume this is all ghetto street slang for sexual misbehavior, drug abuse, and criminal activity:

[Faith_Machine]

And then it only gets worse, with Zeke and our dear brethren and sistren doing lewd things with the lower parts of their bodies.


Please do NOT play either of these videos if there are children present!

My heart hurts right now.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Why, I never...........

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Unable to counter any arguments in the Bible, atheist, catholics and homers resort to personal and religious persecution.

However, Landover is stronger than these servants of the Anti-Christ who compare us to reindeers that are cloven-hoofed as is Satan - thus showing the origin of the abominable cartoon.

We again rely upon the inerrant word of the Bible:

2Co:12:10: Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Bring it on! We can take more than you can give, for God never gives us more than we can bear!

[Samuel Hubbard]

Where did you find this obviously photoshopped filth? Without even watching the videos I can see that someone photoshopped Pastor Ezekiel, and Daisy Mae, and Cranky Old Man's faces onto those vile images in the videos. It's disgusting that someone would try to slander such Godly people.

[Titus Templeton]

Can't wait until Trump closes the internet for atheists.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Titus Templeton

Can't wait until Trump closes the internet for atheists.

Hear! Hear! Brother Titus.

I'm going stop in at the Freehold PD and see if they could start an investigation of these scandalous videos.

[Titus Templeton]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Hear! Hear! Brother Titus.

I'm going stop in at the Freehold PD and see if they could start an investigation of these scandalous videos.

We can just admire your work ethics, Brother Hold!
Trump and Brother Hold= Winners

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by Jesus

Pastor Ezekiel is free of sin. Criticizing him is tantamount to criticizing Me.

Jesus Christ! I thought I missed you! Oh how I can't wait to be dead and to held in your muscular embrace.

Why am I still alive? I hate the right people, vote against my own best interest and hold my desires in check.

I've lost count how many roads I've crossed, poor people I've shook hands with and construction cranes carrying heavy loads I've walked under:

Do you hate me?

I love you so much.

I hate this world.

Jesus?

Jesus?

[Faith_Machine]

The blackmailer has struck again, and this is the worst one I've seen so far.

I wrote back and told them I would kill them if they don't leave poor Russell alone.

They replied saying this will continue unless the church gives them money. They apparently want to use me as a middle man.


I DEMAND the Department of Faith find these people and put them out of business!

[Muqtada Al-Amriki]

Ah, wait a minute Mrs. Faith Machine, howcome is always you who are post these videos?

And now you say ransom has to be paid, but can only be paid through you?


This sound like more and more fishy the more I think about it.

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by Muqtada Al-Amriki

Ah, wait a minute Mrs. Faith Machine, howcome is always you who are post these videos?

And now you say ransom has to be paid, but can only be paid through you?


This sound like more and more fishy the more I think about it.

Sweetie, Brother Faith Machine is a True Christian Man, protected by Jesus from all sin.

(Well, aside from that escapade with Mistress Cookie, and we still aren't sure what did he do with her - did he murder her? sell her? or does he keep her in a basement somewhere? But that's a whole different issue that doesn't have anything to do with this situation).

[Muqtada Al-Amriki]

Now I get another private message an another infarction from a Landover women, this time from Basilissila! Tell me please, how I can write back to you? There is no reply button?

[Muqtada Al-Amriki]

Now you send me another message but claim you don't want to message with me? Why you give me mixed signal, Bassilissila? I think you play hard-to-get! But I have not even see your picture. Maybe you don't show me your picture because you are not pretty like Felicity? Never mind, I have no interest in you!