General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 11:24 AM
Happy Birthday, Young Man! You never age a day. How you manage that rock hard physique, those chisled looks and deeply compassionate soul is incredible. When God is at your back you can only thrust forward with His Sword of Christianty©.
I know you must be tiring of 'oh look, another Escalade...' so I thought something a little more personal and unique would please you. I hope you enjoy this token of my and all of Hutchins Plantations and Temporary Personnel Services, LLC gift.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 582
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Under the watchful eye of my husband
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 02:30 PM
Happy Birthday, Pastor! May God fill you day with happiness and joy!
And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
|
|
Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
|
|
Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 02:48 PM
Happy Birthday Zekie Boy, did your houseboy give you a nice present in the shower?
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
I know you must be tiring of 'oh look, another Escalade...' so I thought something a little more personal and unique would please you. I hope you enjoy this token of my and all of Hutchins Plantations and Temporary Personnel Services, LLC gift.
|
Has Zekie Boy done something to upset you Jimmy?
Now while I think the Bugatti is a fine car I understand Zekie Boy has a thing about foreign items.
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,439
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 02:53 PM
Congratulations to God's favorite Pastor!
I shot a moose for the grand BBQ in your name this evening.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 03:39 PM
A most Blessed Birthday to you today, Pastor! You are truly a spiritual inspiration to us all.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 04:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Happy Birthday Zekie Boy, did your houseboy give you a nice present in the shower?
Has Zekie Boy done something to upset you Jimmy?
Now while I think the Bugatti is a fine car I understand Zekie Boy has a thing about foreign items.
|
The kind and loving Pastor is open to accepting love offerings from around the globe. I know for a fact, if a gift makes him uncomfortable, he will dispose of it like a raped daughter. The car is a gift, provided to his ministry. All that matters is that he knows how much I care and hopefully, prays to God for me.
By the way, noodlebrain, most of Zekes houseboys are little inscrutable waifs. So obviously he does not prejudice against others. That would be racist!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 109
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In my Godly home here in Wisconsin :)
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 05:17 PM
Congratulations Pastor Ezekiel, my best wishes for you in this special day. I don't have too much for you, so I hope you like this pretty cake that my daughters and I made this morning
We'll eat in our dinner tonight and we will think in you during that time. Again, congratulations Pastor
|
|
Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
|
|
Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 09:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
The kind and loving Pastor is open to accepting love offerings from around the globe.
|
I think you must have Zekie Boy confused with someone else!
|
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 109
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In my Godly home here in Wisconsin :)
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 09:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
I think you must have Zekie Boy confused with someone else!
|
The problem with you is that you can't see the difference between a mean guy and a True God Fearing Christian who only cares about salvation of all Landover's souls, specially women, we're guilty of a lot of sins and we must surrender to our Lord, and Pastor Ezekiel help us with that. You should be ashamed
|
|
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 10:06 PM
Happy Birthday Pastor,
I hope Jesus gives you everything your big heart desires.
Proverbs 15:6 In the house of the righteous is much treasure:
YIC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
|
|
Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
|
|
Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 10:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Betty
The problem with you is that you can't see the difference between a mean guy and a True God Fearing Christian who only cares about salvation of all Landover's souls, specially women, we're guilty of a lot of sins and we must surrender to our Lord, and Pastor Ezekiel help us with that. You should be ashamed
|
Awww Mrs Betty's got a thing for Zekie Boy ( I would advise you to stay clear of any pie that Ms Johnson bakes especially for you)
All I did was point out that Zekie Boy is not very keen on products made outside of the USA's borders. I was not saying he was a mean Guy, even though he is, that was not what my post was saying.
|
|
Southern Hospitality Exemplified Always kind and loving
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,824
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: mostly at the Cracker Barrel
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 10:16 PM
Happy Birthday, young man.
May you have many more!
Pastor Ed
|
|
Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
|
|
Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 10:52 PM
Happy Birthday Pastor Ezekiel. As usual, Abigail will be over with your pie tonight. I just hope she doesn't get lost yet again, stupid woman, she's been to your house countless times. You'd think she'd know the route like the back of her hand but somehow manages to show up two hours later.
|
|
Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
|
|
Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 11:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser
Happy Birthday Pastor Ezekiel. As usual, Abigail will be over with your pie tonight. I just hope she doesn't get lost yet again, stupid woman, she's been to your house countless times. You'd think she'd know the route like the back of her hand but somehow manages to show up two hours later.
|
Why not go with her, it's your "friend's" birthday after all, don't you want to congratulate him in person?
|
|
Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
|
|
Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 11:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Why not go with her, it's your "friend's" birthday after all, don't you want to congratulate him in person?
|
He made mention to me once he didn't really want visitors on his birthday but if I wanted send Abigail over with her cherry pie, that would be fine. It's just always been tradition. Besides, we always meet Sunday mornings, Wednesdays for service. The men's only breakfast is every other week (and the odd round of golf)....it's not as if I don't wish him happy birthday (like today, here). Although
He might be my friend, but he is my pastor first and foremost and respect his wishes. If it's it's Abigail's cherry pie that makes his birthday pleasant...whom am I to argue?
|
|
Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
|
|
Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-15-2013, 11:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser
He made mention to me once he didn't really want visitors on his birthday but if I wanted send Abigail over with her cherry pie, that would be fine. It's just always been tradition. Besides, we always meet Sunday mornings, Wednesdays for service. The men's only breakfast is every other week (and the odd round of golf)....it's not as if I don't wish him happy birthday (like today, here). Although
|
Well as she is just dropping the pie off, and she seems to have a navigation issue, why not drive her round and wait in the car for her, if all she is doing is giving Zekie Boy her moist cheery pie it should not take long.
|
|
Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
|
|
Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-16-2013, 12:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Well as she is just dropping the pie off, and she seems to have a navigation issue, why not drive her round and wait in the car for her, if all she is doing is giving Zekie Boy her moist cheery pie it should not take long.
|
You know, every time I see a post from you the corns on my feet start aching and my ulcer flairs up (no doubt as to your involvement on this holiest of forums). Just what are you suggesting pirate boy!!?
And take your time as I now have to run out and buy a secular solution to my ulcer; pepto bismo
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 359
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Home - with dreams of my eternal home in the presence of my Savior.
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-16-2013, 01:19 AM
Happy birthday, Pastor! May your day be filled with joy, smiles and warmth from loved ones! James 1:17
Joshua 1:6: "Bee strong, and of a good courage: for vnto this people shalt thou diuide for an inheritance the land which I sware vnto their fathers to giue them".
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-16-2013, 02:43 AM
Pastor, every year my gift is the same. All speeding tickets since your last Birthday are excused. Have a great and Godly day.
Johny Joe Hold, Mayor
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel -
07-16-2013, 02:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Why not go with her, it's your "friend's" birthday after all, don't you want to congratulate him in person?
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Well as she is just dropping the pie off, and she seems to have a navigation issue, why not drive her round and wait in the car for her, if all she is doing is giving Zekie Boy her moist cheery pie it should not take long.
|
Who pulled your string, Chatty Cathy?! Why don't you go tend to your rum-besotted bunch of sodomite pals. I'm sure one of them needs bail money or something. Keep your nose out of Landover Baptist Business! Nobody needs your meddling suggestions.
Thank you all for your Birthday wishes. I'm a bit tied up right now. Pastor Hinn and I are attempting to break the world record for True Christian™ Tag-Team Healing. At the moment we are up to our armpits in greasy little Phillipino boys. Shout Glory.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|