The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-02-2015, 11:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1liesalot
I am essense of hamster vomit and that is what my one solitary brain cell was made of before it died of lonliness. Surely I am a eunuch. Here is what the lord our God thinks of eunuchs. It is from Deuteronomy 23:1.
“He that is wounded in the stones or hath his private member cut off shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
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Oh, my poor dear!
Well I guess that means I can stop praying for you with a clean conscience.
Enjoy your ride to , sweetie!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 47
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: OKLAHOMAAAA!!!
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-02-2015, 11:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1liesalot
I peed into a lake of macaroni cheese with cauliflower.
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Did you hijack my introduction forum that I started? Maybe you and your paganism potty mouth should move along!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 64
Join Date: Sep 2015
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-02-2015, 11:52 PM
I am not saved. I would do well to remember that before I keep accusing the people of the Lord of being pirates.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 47
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: OKLAHOMAAAA!!!
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 03:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
Most of the people in Colorado, especially in the Denver/Colorado Springs area, are in a confused state, due primarily to the marijuana smoke that is now clouding the skies. As a result, crime is rampant in the streets and false doctrines have invaded even the Christian churches. Burning the stores selling these noxious products will only make things worse. I advise you to leave the immediate area of the marijuana smoke at your earliest convenience. Then, out in the hinterlands, far from the drug smoke, you can devise a plan to destroy the Devil's people who have taken control of your state.
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Alvin, moving out of the state of Colorado or at least Denver area are my intentions. Is there any chance that I might be able to move to freehold Iowa and become a member of God's favorite church. From reading the forums I understand you don't just let anybody join your church? If joining Landover is out of the possibility would you please inform me about some truth speaking churches that I could attend and visit?
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 03:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Whitlock
Alvin, moving out of the state of Colorado or at least Denver area are my intentions. Is there any chance that I might be able to move to freehold Iowa and become a member of God's favorite church. From reading the forums I understand you don't just let anybody join your church? If joining Landover is out of the possibility would you please inform me about some truth speaking churches that I could attend and visit?
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Getting to attend Landover Baptist is like winning the lottery, season tickets to the Green Bay Packers or getting into heaven. It isn't just asking.
Matthew 7:13-14
13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
It's hard work and dedication to quoting the Bible or being very interesting and well spoken. It helps more to be both.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 03:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Whitlock
Is there any chance that I might be able to move to freehold Iowa and become a member of God's favorite church. From reading the forums I understand you don't just let anybody join your church? If joining Landover is out of the possibility would you please inform me about some truth speaking churches that I could attend and visit?
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In short, no. There is no chance. Now, if several years down the road, you are still consistently testifying for Jesus, and quoting His words, perhaps.
There are no other "truth-speaking churches".
Will you begin posting for Him? Forget your selfish concerns? Make it about God, rather than Hank?
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 03:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Whitlock
Alvin, moving out of the state of Colorado or at least Denver area are my intentions. Is there any chance that I might be able to move to freehold Iowa and become a member of God's favorite church. From reading the forums I understand you don't just let anybody join your church? If joining Landover is out of the possibility would you please inform me about some truth speaking churches that I could attend and visit?
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You will have to consult with Pastor Ezekiel about any moving to Freehold. The town of Freehold is only open to True Christians and you are not of that category at this time. Also, substantial monies are required to cover the many expenses associated with residing in Freehold. The Security Ministry alone consumes several millions of dollars annually and that is only a small part of the budget.
Any Baptist Church whose congregation follows the full and true word of God, as revealed in the scriptures, will do just fine. Sadly, they are but few.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 47
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: OKLAHOMAAAA!!!
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 07:14 AM
Thanks for letting me introduced myself and getting to know you guys better. I totally understand about being wary of newcomers in Landover Baptist church. I think it's awesome you guys care so much about protecting God's favorite people from sinners and heathens. I will continue to read and obey the holy scriptures through out my life. I will most definitely keep reading and posting on these forums. ~Hank Whitlock
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 02:22 PM
God bless you and keep you, Brother. Many people don't realize that Jesus was the first American, long before there was even an America, or anyone else who spoke American.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 03:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Whitlock
I will continue to read and obey the holy scriptures through out my life.
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You seem to be the right kind of person. Welcome to God's favorite forum!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1liesalot
the one and only true church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
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Don't be silly. If spaghetti is flying then this is because people are throwing it at you because you cannot cook.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 57
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Hot Springs, Arkansas!
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 07:12 PM
You? Probably going to hell?
Balderdash and hooey!
Brother Whitlock, you sound like a saved man, the only type of man worth knowing.
You want to be saved? All you have to do is get on your knees for Jesus, obey his orders, and keep him satisifed, and your getting a one way ticket to heaven!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 47
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: OKLAHOMAAAA!!!
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-03-2015, 09:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeweyClutter
You? Probably going to hell?
Balderdash and hooey!
Brother Whitlock, you sound like a saved man, the only type of man worth knowing.
You want to be saved? All you have to do is get on your knees for Jesus, obey his orders, and keep him satisifed, and your getting a one way ticket to heaven!
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Dewey, thank you for the encouragement. I always find it a pleasure to meet holy God fearing men. I hope when in heaven we will meet face to face.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 64
Join Date: Sep 2015
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-05-2015, 12:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hank Whitlock
Dewey, thank you for the encouragement. I always find it a pleasure to meet holy God fearing men. I hope when in heaven we will meet face to face.
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Brother Whitlock, I can't help but notice that you have failed to quote scripture whilst reference "heaven". Our Lord has again instructed me to invade your thread so that you might be schooled in His ways lest you end up being tossed into the Lake of Fire with a load of silly atheists.
Behold the Word of the Lord our God in
***Wrong Bible Version Deleted***
[/U] For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.
Last edited by Dr Laurence Niles; 11-05-2015 at 01:34 PM.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-05-2015, 12:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1liesalot
Our Lord has again instructed me to invade your thread so that you might be schooled in His ways
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You are so delusional, I laughed so hard. Ecclesiastes 10:13 The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness: and the end of his talk is mischievous madness.
To be spoken to by God one would need to have a relationship with God. You are mad, you obviously suffer from the retardation as stated in your title. You rant off verbal diarrhea like the syphilis infected Mozart. You show little respect for the Bible that we know here and forget your place. Put down your glass of crack and pick up the KJV 1611 Bible. Repent your Sins and maybe God will spare you a longer life and send you to Satan's hole to be Satan's hole, sooner. Deuteronomy 28:28 The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:
Apart from that, hope you're well, say hi to the other inmates. tell them all as with yourself, they have all been REJECTED!
Brother BAW.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 47
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: OKLAHOMAAAA!!!
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-05-2015, 01:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1liesalot
Brother Whitlock, I can't help but notice that you have failed to quote scripture whilst reference "heaven". Our Lord has again instructed me to invade your thread so that you might be schooled in His ways lest you end up being tossed into the Lake of Fire with a load of silly atheists.
Behold the Word of the Lord our God in
***Wrong Bible Version Deleted***
[/U]For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.
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Friend, who has so graciously took time to correct me in my errors, I think you should read the verse Luke 6:42
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 64
Join Date: Sep 2015
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-05-2015, 07:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall
You are so delusional, I laughed so hard.
[/INDENT]To be spoken to by God one would need to have a relationship with God. You are mad, you obviously suffer from the retardation as stated in your title. You rant off verbal diarrhea like the syphilis infected Mozart. You show little respect for the Bible that we know here and forget your place. Put down your glass of crack and pick up the KJV 1611 Bible. Repent your Sins and maybe God will spare you a longer life and send you to Satan's hole to be Satan's hole, sooner.
[/INDENT]Apart from that, hope you're well, say hi to the other inmates. tell them all as with yourself, they have all been REJECTED!
Brother BAW.
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Brother, do you not not know that your barbs and diabolical libels mean little to me. I have been given a helmet of salvation; a breastplate of righteousness and a sword of the spirit and God's armour. I also have the shoes of the one true gospel. Psalm 91 of your blessed KVG tells us this
God shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
This means God's Glory will render you gory, in the name of the Christ Child. Our Lord knows your black heart and He knows that you fornicate with unholy goats and will never be a sheep of the flock of God, so cannot be saved and ministered to by anyone other than Satan. For you are surely of your father the devil and your mother was a jackal, just like Damian in The Omen.
If we turn again to Psalm 91, we learn this
Surely He shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
When He spoke of the noisome pestilence he was speaking specifically about you, Brother BAW, just as surely as if he had name-checked you verbatim.
Why are you walking in the Word of the Lord with your demonic nonsense and your haughty eyes? Did you know that the Bible speaks against haughty eyes. Let me explain .....
The word haughty is defined by Merriam-Webster as “blatantly and disdainfully proud.” The word is always used in the Bible in the evil sense of arrogant, disdainful and setting oneself above others.
Haughty eyed people will burn in eternal boil in a bag recipies.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 64
Join Date: Sep 2015
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-05-2015, 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall
You are so delusional, I laughed so hard.
[/INDENT]To be spoken to by God one would need to have a relationship with God. You are mad, you obviously suffer from the retardation as stated in your title. You rant off verbal diarrhea like the syphilis infected Mozart. You show little respect for the Bible that we know here and forget your place. Put down your glass of crack and pick up the KJV 1611 Bible. Repent your Sins and maybe God will spare you a longer life and send you to Satan's hole to be Satan's hole, sooner.
[/INDENT]Apart from that, hope you're well, say hi to the other inmates. tell them all as with yourself, they have all been REJECTED!
Brother BAW.
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Brother, do you not not know that your barbs and diabolical libels mean little to me. I have been given a helmet of salvation; a breastplate of righteousness and a sword of the spirit and God's armour. I also have the shoes of the one true gospel. Psalm 91 of your blessed KVG tells us this
God shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
This means God's Glory will render you gory, in the name of the Christ Child. Our Lord knows your black heart and He knows that you fornicate with unholy goats and will never be a sheep of the flock of God, so cannot be saved and ministered to by anyone other than Satan. For you are surely of your father the devil and your mother was a jackal, just like Damian in The Omen.
If we turn again to Psalm 91, we learn this
Surely He shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
When He spoke of the noisome pestilence he was speaking specifically about you, Brother BAW, just as surely as if he had name-checked you verbatim.
Why are you walking in the Word of the Lord with your demonic nonsense and your haughty eyes? Did you know that the Bible speaks against haughty eyes. Let me explain .....
The word haughty is defined by Merriam-Webster as “blatantly and disdainfully proud.” The word is always used in the Bible in the evil sense of arrogant, disdainful and setting oneself above others.
Haughty eyed people will burn in eternal boil in a bag recipies.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-05-2015, 08:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1liesalot
*** Kid's Bedtime Story ***
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Spoken like a true Toaster Oven.
Brother BAW
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 64
Join Date: Sep 2015
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-05-2015, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall
Spoken like a true Toaster Oven.
Brother BAW
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That is not an answer, you pasta denying pizza oven.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: I'm probably going to hell -
11-05-2015, 08:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1liesalot
That is not an answer, you pasta denying pizza oven.
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You are no threat to God, child.
Understanding ones reply is not the same as reading it.
May Satan have mercy on your hole.
God speed Criesalot!
Brother BAW
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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