HOME WELCOME! FORUMS Register FAQ Calendar
Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page I need help
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
CornBn CornBn is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
  
Posts: 3
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California
CornBn is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default I need help - 08-07-2015, 10:29 AM
Hello, My name is Isaac, I live with a family who doesn't believe in the name of Jesus, so as a kid, Nobody taught me the words of the Holy Bible, I need help, Can you help me find the right version of the bible and some tips on how not to go to hell?
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Love Jesus Re: I need help - 08-07-2015, 10:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CornBn View Post
Hello, My name is Isaac, I live with a family who doesn't believe in the name of Jesus, so as a kid, Nobody taught me the words of the Holy Bible, I need help, Can you help me find the right version of the bible and some tips on how not to go to hell?
Mr Isaac,



Thank Jesus for guiding you here. Your situation is a common one and Jesus was well aware of this dilemma. He also told us what to do:

Luke 14:26
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

(I've always loved this verse also for its elegant use of the present subjunctive that is unfortunately all but forgotten from colloquial American.)

The Bible (the Real one, the KJV) can be found HERE:


How's life begettingwise? Wife, children or female offspring yet? Jesus would really love to observe how you reproduce!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
CornBn CornBn is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
  
Posts: 3
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California
CornBn is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I need help - 08-07-2015, 11:04 AM
Thank you for showing me the right version of the bible, and no I have no offspring nor wife yet, but soon I will.
My life, I have a small part time job at a supermarket, living in an apartment with my unreligious brother, no matter what, I couldn't teach him the words of Jesus and he remains that way, but the way he responds is kinda valid with all that fossil stuff and rock dating or whatever my hippie science teacher taught me (obviously wrong stuff).

How do I convince my family to accept Jesus into their hearts?
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: I need help - 08-07-2015, 11:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CornBn View Post
Thank you for showing me the right version of the bible, and no I have no offspring nor wife yet, but soon I will.
My life, I have a small part time job at a supermarket, living in an apartment with my unreligious brother, no matter what, I couldn't teach him the words of Jesus and he remains that way, but the way he responds is kinda valid with all that fossil stuff and rock dating or whatever my hippie science teacher taught me (obviously wrong stuff).

How do I convince my family to accept Jesus into their hearts?
Obviously, you can show them the Conditional Love of Jesus by your own example: Accept Jesus, get a Baptism, follow ALL His commandments and they will see how your life becomes richer and more meaningful by letting go of pleasure and Sin. In addition, prayer is a good tool! If you are sincere, the Holy Spirit will tell how what to do!

Romans 8:26
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

You should also given them your own testimony of Jesus=God=our Lord=Judge etc. But please hurry, it could well be that it is only days or hours until the Second Coming of Jesus and the Rapture!





Acts 10:42
And he commanded us to preach unto the people, and to testify that it is he which was ordained of God to be the Judge of quick and dead.

As you can see, all the advice you need in in the Bible. I suggest you start by reading it and memorizing your favorite verses!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
CornBn CornBn is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
  
Posts: 3
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California
CornBn is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I need help - 08-07-2015, 11:20 AM
What is this?
***FALSE CHRISTIAN ADVERTISING REMOVED BY MODERATOR***

Who are Jesus Christ and Paul?
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: I need help - 08-07-2015, 11:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CornBn View Post
Who are Jesus Christ and Paul?
Jesus Christ is God, son of God and our Savior. Paul is a apostle.

John 10:30
I and my Father are one.

Acts 13:9
Then Saul, (who also is called Paul,) filled with the Holy Ghost, set his eyes on him,

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Roland's Avatar
Roland Roland is offline
Obese Swedish Meatball
Delusional Forum Member
 

Nutjob Meatball Worshiper Beastiality Hellbound Heathen Bleeding heart liebral Eurotrash Glutton Condemned Reaper Frenchie Barney Spaghettarian Piratefish Grammar Nazi Drunk Numbers Nazi Perv Stalker Panda Sinner Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars One Year/1000 posts Probing for Jesus Chili Chemtrail Confused about midget porn

 
Posts: 2,207
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I need help - 08-07-2015, 11:38 AM
Hello CornBn,

You seem somewhat troubled, confused. Would you like to talk about it?

Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
Serving Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers Mission to Korea Trump of GOD True Republican Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hands Off True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Nuke of Heaven Crown of Glory Mower Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I need help - 08-07-2015, 01:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CornBn View Post


How do I convince my family to accept Jesus into their hearts?

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. All you can do is to show your kinfolks the way, introduce them to Jesus and hope for the best. Some may accept Jesus. Most will not and they will eventually join billions of others in Hell. There is always room down there with the Devil. Time is short. You have likely noticed that the infernal marijuana growers up in Lake County have already been set on fire by Jesus. Many woke up in Hell this morning. Soon, all of California will suffer the same well deserved fate. My advice is to make haste to move in an easterly direction.

God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved

Send an email to the Senior Pastor - Landover Baptist Church - Top