[Dennis Lukes]

814 - Charlemagne, the first Emperor of the "Holy" Roman (Catholic) Empire, dies and goes to Hell.



1547 - King Henry VIII, obese glutton (Philippians 3:19) and founder of the false-Christian "Church" of England, perishes and is cast into Hell by Jesus. He is replaced as king by his nine-year-old son, Edward VI.


1813 - Vapid British whore Jane Austen publishes Pride and Prejudice, the first modern romantic comedy.



1871 - The Franco-Prussian War ends, no points for guessing how (hint: the French surrender).


1896 - Walter Arnold of East Peckham, Kent, UK, becomes the first person to be convicted of speeding. This British maniac is fined for traveling QUADRUPLE the posted speed limit (2 mph), proving that the English should not be allowed to drive. They can't even manage to drive on the correct side of the road.


1915 - Congress establishes the Coast Guard for some reason.



1958 - Danish Satanists patent Lego bricks to turn children against Jesus.



1986 - Millions around the world get a chance to see God's wrath in action as he destroys the Space Shuttle Challenger on live television and sends seven astronauts to Hell.