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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Hello - 01-11-2013, 07:46 PM

I enjoy reading many of the posts here so I decided to bite the bullet and sign up. Although I'm currently working as a teacher out in the UAE, I still like to keep both eyes on America when I can spare them, and to that end I hope that the brothers and sisters of Landover Baptist can keep me informed of the goings on in my once beloved country. From the information I was able to piece together in regard to the election...things won't be looking better for us any time soon. I hope I recognize my home when I finally do return.

For their part the good folks in the UAE are very tolerant of Christians. The leaders here are Muslim of course, just like President Obama, but unlike our so-called Commander in Cheif, they give everyone a fair shake. The students that I teach love learning English and some of my better students are even trying to master American accents.

Anyhow, I mostly read the entertainment forums--gotta make sure that ol' devil doesn't brainwash me with filth--BTW, I was enjoying the My Little Pony forum. That is one show that needs to be stopped, but too many people are afraid to speak out about it. Bronyism hasn't made it's way to the Middle East yet, but when it does...who knows just how wild it might get. We just can't let that happen!

Keep Fighting the good fight
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Default Re: Hello - 01-11-2013, 08:12 PM

Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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The truth about volcanos
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Default Re: Hello - 01-12-2013, 04:41 AM

Hello Paragon, I'm always excited to meet a fellow Christian, but I must say I don't think it's a very good idea for you to be teaching terrorists how to hide their accents. I believe our laws now allow for drone strikes on people such as yourself who provide material support to our enemies.


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Default Re: Hello - 01-12-2013, 08:25 AM

Favorite Bible Verse: Job 31:6

Let me be weighed on honest scales, that God may know mine integrity.

I think that's a good one. The scales may be out of balance for me these days however because there is not a local church for me to attend. The capitol city of Abu Dhabi does have Christian church service, but it's a long way to get there. There are Bible study groups out here and plenty to join online, so I'm never too far from good Bible teachings.

Where I live it is mostly sand dunes. My small town's name is Liwa and we are nearly at the Saudi border. We have all the modern conveniences and it's really peaceful out here, but look out in Dubai--they have succumbed to some of America's dark passions such as wide spread availability of alcohol and mixed dancing and swimming...I mean even my town allows women to work--at regular jobs just like mine no less, and allows them to drive automobiles without male chaparones. It's hard to fight so called progress I guess.
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Default Re: Hello - 01-12-2013, 08:54 AM

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Originally Posted by Paragon of virtue View Post
The scales may be out of balance for me these days...
Friend, judging from your picture I do not doubt this self-appraisal. The scales clearly do not balance in your favor. In that condition, how do you topple the young boys when they arrive at your hotel room full of jihad, ready to be martyred?
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Default Re: Hello - 01-12-2013, 09:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paragon of virtue View Post
...I mean even my town allows women to work--at regular jobs just like mine no less, and allows them to drive automobiles without male chaparones. It's hard to fight so called progress I guess.
I certainly share with you the belief that it is far from ideal for women to work outside the home or drive automobiles, but I can't find anything in the Bible saying they should be legally prohibited from doing so.

You are in a pit full of fire ants, my friend. Take care, lest their thousand bites infect you with enough Islamic poison that you begin to forget just what it is you believe!


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Default Re: Hello - 01-12-2013, 09:34 AM

PS: Thank you for uploading a profile pic. Who is that lady with you? I can see why they make those girls wear those hijab thingees. You're not dating her, are you?


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Default Re: Hello - 01-13-2013, 11:48 AM

Yes, that would be my stalker. She fell in love with me when I was visiting a local farm. My human wife told her to back off.

Not every lady has to wear the abaya out here, but most of the Muslims choose to do so. It would probably help a few people out at home to be a little more modest.
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Default Re: Hello - 01-13-2013, 08:34 PM

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Originally Posted by Paragon of virtue View Post
My human wife told her to back off.
You have some other kind of wife? Like a horse?


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Hello - 01-13-2013, 11:37 PM

I think he's saying he has one human wife and some unspecified number of sand people wives.


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Default Re: Hello - 01-14-2013, 12:16 AM

This man owes me money.

If he can come up with the goods, then he can tithe it straight to Landover: I had already written off that sum.

Let the Pastors decide.

YBIC
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Default Re: Hello - 01-14-2013, 12:26 AM

That's very gracious of you, Mr. Hopkins. I suspect he's swimming in dough, as there's nothing but oil money over there. Oil money and anti-Americanism.


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Default Re: Hello - 01-14-2013, 12:45 AM

I don't know if you've ever changed flights in the U.A.E., but I once saw a shocking event in Dubai...

The whole place was like one, tacky, horrible gold market, and everywhere were airport security guards, with fully automatic rifles. As I browsed the blood gems and gold, in those gaudy airport shops, I thanked God I was an American, and could fully appreciate the exchange rate related to the value of gold on the stock exchange.

What a wonderful place, really!

The only fly on the ointment was when one woman pushed her way to the front and started complaining. Well, that uppity woman nearly delayed my flight, and she never did get her daughter's passport back, even though she was from a different country.

I think they operate some kind of federal system over there. Anyhow, it seems to work.

YBIC
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Default Re: Hello - 01-15-2013, 12:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
some other kind of wife?
Well he is in Arabia

Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthew Hopkins View Post
Dubai
those space ships are cool!
Quote:
exchange rate related to the value of gold on the stock exchange.
Did you check out the hallmarks? All English.


Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.
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Paragon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Hello - 01-18-2013, 06:16 AM

In any other community I would file this under 'Who Cares?", but at Landover Baptist, I know everyone cares. I have decided to change my avatar and profile picture due to the continuing prosecution of true believers by Obama supporting liberal heathens. There are many internet users in this world, and there are only a few that understand what this website is all about--spreading love and wisdom. That concept is foreign to many of the heathen liberals out there.

With Facebook's pending graph searches engine, a heathen can put a couple of details about your life such as: 'Americans living in the UAE for example', match pictures from your profile page on FB to pictures posted on Landover and they suddenly have many details about you! The next thing you know there is a knock on the door and you are being escorted to a FEMA internment camp. I do not in any way blame the founder of Facebook for this, although he may or may not be a joo--Zuckerberg?--as he is a great example for capitalism, but I know our filthy government in the United Snakes and what they are capable of these days.

For those who want to know--my old profile pic was one of myself that was not distorted wearing my dishdash, my old avatar was an intimate picture of me and my camel girlfriend--. My current profile pic has been distorted to protect my identity and my new avatar features a recent field trip I had with my students. I am the one in the middle dressed in black.

This change in my profile should not be misinterpreted in any way as hiding from Brother Hopkins whom I may, or may not owe money nor as hiding my shame from Sister Mary who has recently accused me of posting Pony Porn/Clopping pictures which I probably did post but it was an accident...it was Fluttershy...she's a temptress...anyways, God Bless.
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Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Chili Chemtrail

 
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Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello - 01-18-2013, 07:19 AM

Believe me brother, I know full well the shame and misunderstandings which arise when a guy accidentally posts pornographic images.

I know all about it.


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Paragon of virtue Paragon of virtue is offline
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Posts: 543
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the UAE.
Paragon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Hello - 03-22-2013, 06:07 AM

I was going through some old photo albums and decided to change up my profile pic and avatar again. I might do this from time to time what with all the crazy pictures I get to take from all over the world.
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Alterboy Alterboy is offline
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Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Hello - 03-22-2013, 12:00 PM

Good luck in the land of Moooslims.


I Samuel 20:4
"Then said Jonathan unto David, Whatsoever thy soul desireth, I will even do it for thee."
This is not a reference of a homosexual relationship but a friendship of depth and platonic commitment! Why must liiebrals always make everything sound so DIRTY!?
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