Some days I am exhausted by all the wars and misery in the world. Then I switch on the news and am outraged. Then I get exhausted, and then outraged and then exhausted and then outraged then exhausted. I've started prescribing myself an opiate pain reliever to try and get some balance - don't worry, it's just until the emotional rollercoaster evens out.
After a long prayer session, I realized we need to prioritize our wars so we don't get so overwhelmed. Here is where we should focus the war effort - if Zeke is listening perhaps he can pass the list to the President for his consideration:
- Christmas: obvious number 1 as there is no purpose to life unless we win this one
- The election: more of a police action than a war but same difference (see no. 1)
- Civil: duh, taking our country back - our top priority (well, no. 3)
- Criminals and Mexicans: rape is wrong and somebody needs to say it - that is our job
- Iran: to be honest I thought we already won this twice but the President still seems keen
- Terrorists: not masked gunmen who kidnap governors but real ones that fill out visa applications
- Drugs: serves to harmonize the negro vote count in places with a lot of criminals such as Florida
Further down the list... let me see: cancer, obesity, child poverty, online bullying, blah blah blah. Nothingburgers. I don't see much point carrying on with any of those.