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THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
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Default Thank you, God, for Butterball™ Turkeys - 11-22-2019, 05:50 PM

There might have been a time when pilgrims hunted wild turkeys and thought they were a worthy product. It was before they understood God had something better for us. Today we have found the turkey God intended. The Butterball.

God knew we like tender turkey breast meat better than the tough wings and thighs. So He designed he Butterball™ turkey with a breast so large it can barely stand. It walks bent forward because of the huge portion of breast meat.

Then, He provided turkey farmers to grow Butterballs for our Christmas dinner.



https://lp.butterballturkeygift.com/...=Gift%20Checks


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Thank you, God, for Butterball™ Turkeys - 11-23-2019, 08:40 AM

Thank you Mayor for reminding us that in this season, Thankgiving and Christmas, it is the time to thank the Lord for the bounty he has given us - and that's Butterball turkeys and Donald Trump for MAGA.

Now I've from time to time overheard women complaining about being asked "are those real", but their job is to remain in the kitchen tending and basting those Butterballs to a golden brown for the family table - and yes, those Butterballs are real. It turns out that researchers have established that America is blessed with the largest breasts on earth.

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Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Jesus Re: Thank you, God, for Butterball™ Turkeys - 11-23-2019, 01:05 PM

Breasts may do it for some, but give me a thick piece of dark meat and I will be occupied for hours. My assistant priest back when I was a boy at Our Lady of the Beaver Dam introduced me to dark meat; Father Tyrone Washington was his name. Pretty sure he served us altar boys Butterballs.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Eagle Re: Thank you, God, for Butterball™ Turkeys - 11-23-2019, 02:27 PM

Praise God! Can you believe that the heathen deist pervert Ben Franklin wanted to make turkeys our national bird? What could possibly be a less apt symbol of the noble Real American like me than some fat, stupid bird waddling around being obnoxious?

Thank Jesus for delicious butterball turkeys and thank Jesus the real Founding Fathers went with the bald eagle!




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Default Re: Thank you, God, for Butterball™ Turkeys - 11-23-2019, 03:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Praise God! Can you believe that the heathen deist pervert Ben Franklin wanted to make turkeys our national bird? What could possibly be a less apt symbol of the noble Real American like me than some fat, stupid bird waddling around being obnoxious?
Oh, my, can you imagine if Ben Franklin had had his way here, dear Brother Lukes? I mean, we would have ended up being mocked by nations around the world!

A blessed day to you, dear Brother,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


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Default Re: Thank you, God, for Butterball™ Turkeys - 11-27-2019, 04:55 PM

And, as if the war on Christmas (and all things related to it, such as Butterball turkeys) is not bad enough, now it's apparent that those LIE-beral Demonrat supporters are trying to take away our beloved Thanksgiving traditions. Several of my favorite reporters on Fox News have reported this, so they must have their evidence based on facts somewhere. Here is a clip that shows this. Why can't those whiny snowflake Obummer people just leave well enough alone?

A blessed day to all,
Sincerely, Isabella W.



 

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