Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
Reload this Page Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Joanna Lytton-Vasey's Avatar
Joanna Lytton-Vasey Joanna Lytton-Vasey is offline
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
 

Christian Love Heaven Bound Most Obedient True Christian Lady True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club Touched by Jesus Quiverful Cleanest Kitchen Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls One Year/1000 posts The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Grammar Nazi Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico Hands Off Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award In Love With Zeke Pro-Life Ex-eurotrash Persecuted Stamp of Approval Mower Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Crown of Incorruptibility God's chosen ones Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,833
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-19-2019, 09:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
... certain behavior that decent True Christian ™ women don't discuss--ever.
I absolutely agree with you, Sister. We never, ever discuss it! Not even in private, among close friends, or with our mothers or daughters. Why would any woman need to do such a thing?

I also agree about the socks. Obviously I have no need for the eyeglasses.


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
(#22)
Old
Emily Brent's Avatar
Emily Brent (On Moderation) Emily Brent is offline
Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Cutter Facepalm

 
Posts: 109
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 01:03 AM

Oooh Santa, it's me again. I don't want to be a greedy Emily, but I want you to bless me with child, a girl preferably. Wont you ride my sleigh tonight, and give Mrs Claus a run for money. Pardon me, a wee bit too much eggnob tonight.
(#23)
Old
BibleReader2231's Avatar
BibleReader2231 BibleReader2231 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Heaven Bound True Christian Beauty Virgin Most Obedient Pro-Life Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
BibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 01:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
Oooh Santa, it's me again. I don't want to be a greedy Emily, but I want you to bless me with child, a girl preferably. Wont you ride my sleigh tonight, and give Mrs Claus a run for money. Pardon me, a wee bit too much eggnob tonight.
Ma’am. If I may interject here. For someone who chooses to live with such obvious....umm...disabilities at your old age, may I recommend that you start collecting hummel figurines instead of believing you can conceive a child with an old morbidly obese sinner? I also have to note that you two aren’t even married so this isn’t the most ladylike manner. So close to Jesus’s birthday mind you.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
(#24)
Old
Isabella White's Avatar
Isabella White Isabella White is offline
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Anti-abortion True Christian Lady Cleanest Kitchen Trumpette True Christian Granny Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Real American™ Teabag Patriot Trump of GOD Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College Stamp of Approval Born again virgin Most Obedient Barney BFF of Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Rejoicing Cup of Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,706
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 02:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
Oooh Santa, it's me again. I don't want to be a greedy Emily, but I want you to bless me with child, a girl preferably. Wont you ride my sleigh tonight, and give Mrs Claus a run for money. Pardon me, a wee bit too much eggnob tonight.
Oh, my goodness, Miss Brent! Since you are a guest on , don't you think that your discourse should be centered around the topic of the glorious birth of our , , rather than flirting with a demon-possessed agent of who pedals his false message and pretends to be interested in the welfare of our children? Seeing as we are so close to mas, one would think that the importance of December 25th would be a suitable clue for you.

And, I do sincerely hope that that egg"nob" was not spiked with demonic rum!

Proverbs 20:1 "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise."

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Ma’am. If I may interject here. For someone who chooses to live with such obvious....umm...disabilities at your old age, may I recommend that you start collecting hummel figurines instead of believing you can conceive a child with an old morbidly obese sinner? I also have to note that you two aren’t even married so this isn’t the most ladylike manner. So close to Jesus’s birthday mind you.
Oh, dear Sister Maxine: I do think you are right here, and I must commend you for taking such a stand; although, considering how Miss Brent is somewhat "tipsy" this evening, I do feel, most assuredly, that entrusting her with the care of delicate porcelain collectibles would be most unwise.

A blessed evening to both of you,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


(#25)
Old
Dennis Lukes's Avatar
Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Wall of Jesus True Christian™ Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Inn Keeper for Christ Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars QAnon Storm Chaser TC Bravery Stamp of Approval Outreach preacher Wrath of God Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 1,409
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Nebraska, Land of the Sodomite Damned
Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Rebuke Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 02:58 AM



This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
(#26)
Old
Isabella White's Avatar
Isabella White Isabella White is offline
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Anti-abortion True Christian Lady Cleanest Kitchen Trumpette True Christian Granny Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Real American™ Teabag Patriot Trump of GOD Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College Stamp of Approval Born again virgin Most Obedient Barney BFF of Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Rejoicing Cup of Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,706
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 03:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post


This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.
Oh, my goodness, dear Brother Lukes! I am shocked -- beyond belief! I was just reaching for my blessed for some devotional time (and also to bring many prayer needs before the ), and I can see that I will be dealing with this travesty, as well. Why, this photograph depicts nothing other than complete irreverence and blatant blasphemy!

This is all the work of those LIE-beral "Happy Holidays" people and it's just another attack as part of their War on mas. Oh, how we need to pray more than ever!

A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


(#27)
Old
Emily Brent's Avatar
Emily Brent (On Moderation) Emily Brent is offline
Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Cutter Facepalm

 
Posts: 109
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 03:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post


This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.
Is that the gingerbread-style ornamental porch most popular in the gay 90's? 1890's that is. Did the Queen Anne revival exist in Biblical Bethlehem? *hic*
(#28)
Old
Isabella White's Avatar
Isabella White Isabella White is offline
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Anti-abortion True Christian Lady Cleanest Kitchen Trumpette True Christian Granny Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Real American™ Teabag Patriot Trump of GOD Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College Stamp of Approval Born again virgin Most Obedient Barney BFF of Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Rejoicing Cup of Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,706
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 03:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
Is that the gingerbread-style ornamental porch most popular in the gay 90's? 1890's that is. Did the Queen Anne revival exist in Biblical Bethlehem? *hic*
Oh, good grief, Miss Brent. Queen Anne revival?! I do so hope that you won't mind my saying this, but I think that the only revival that should be of interest to you would be the type that brings you closer to the . Besides, as you must know, surely, the is a republic, and not a monarchy! And, Dear, just a bit of gentle advice, if you don't mind terribly: this might be the time for you to put the cork in the bottle -- tonight, and forever.

A blessed evening to you, Miss Brent,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


(#29)
Old
Santa Claus's Avatar
Santa Claus Santa Claus is offline
Unsaved Trash, Obese Child-Molesting Demon

Full of it Evil Perv

 
Posts: 115
Join Date: Dec 1971
Location: North Pole
Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Smile Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 06:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Santa Claus View Post
Some basic rules remain. I don't deliver people. I don't deliver abstract concepts, such as love or eternal torment for someone who showed you a bikini ad without a trigger warning. I don't deliver body parts of endangered species including the rapidly decreasing populations of Baptists. Plastics are the most certain bid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
Oooh Santa, it's me again. I don't want to be a greedy Emily, but I want you to bless me with child, a girl preferably. Wont you ride my sleigh tonight, and give Mrs Claus a run for money. Pardon me, a wee bit too much eggnob tonight.
Nope. Learn to read. Her's a book for your caretaker.




Ho


Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
(#30)
Old
Santa Claus's Avatar
Santa Claus Santa Claus is offline
Unsaved Trash, Obese Child-Molesting Demon

Full of it Evil Perv

 
Posts: 115
Join Date: Dec 1971
Location: North Pole
Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Smile Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 06:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post


This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.
Dennis my Lil- Menace! So nice to see you! The Light Vitrail Swarovski crystal jewel butt plug, Glamour body jewelry is on its way in an inconspicuous envelope just as you requested it!

Indeed, the image is faulty. Despite popular beliefs, I am not twice as big as the average human, not even when considering the growth retardation of the ancient Palestinians due to their poor diets. Joseph my Joy-Boy did not wear green, it was totally unbecoming of him. He preferred shades of gray and brown. What was the artist thinking? And there was no snow on that day, although I am probably the person who's seen more snow in that region than anyone else due to my extreme longevity. I remember well the time when the Nile froze over in 829. That was a year. Anyways, Rudolf is also missing his nice red nose in that image. Indeed, it is of poor quality and I totally agree with you!

Ho ho ho!


Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
(#31)
Old
Santa Claus's Avatar
Santa Claus Santa Claus is offline
Unsaved Trash, Obese Child-Molesting Demon

Full of it Evil Perv

 
Posts: 115
Join Date: Dec 1971
Location: North Pole
Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Smile Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 06:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, dear Sister Maxine: I do think you are right here, and I must commend you for taking such a stand; although, considering how Miss Brent is somewhat "tipsy" this evening, I do feel, most assuredly, that entrusting her with the care of delicate porcelain collectibles would be most unwise.

A blessed evening to both of you,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
Bella! My cupcake! Ho! Wonderful to see you. Still strugglin' with the Beast, are you! Anyways, porcelain, you mentioned! Of course! Here's a nice light switch of the best German porcelain to be installed in your boudoir!



Oh Ho!


Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
(#32)
Old
Emily Brent's Avatar
Emily Brent (On Moderation) Emily Brent is offline
Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Cutter Facepalm

 
Posts: 109
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 06:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Santa Claus View Post
Nope. Learn to read. Her's a book for your caretaker.




Ho




Oh dear now, I missed that block entirely. I misplaced my spectacles again and had been too busy bodying to pay mind to wingy Isobellas insinuating to attach a loo chain to my spectacles.


That's very well, my offer Santa still stainds, you dont have to give child.
(#33)
Old
Santa Claus's Avatar
Santa Claus Santa Claus is offline
Unsaved Trash, Obese Child-Molesting Demon

Full of it Evil Perv

 
Posts: 115
Join Date: Dec 1971
Location: North Pole
Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Smile Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 06:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
I am not comfortable with the newspaper. It praises Trump, which is good. And, of course, I am sure that it is True News™. But it sends the wrong message about certain behavior that decent True Christian ™ women don't discuss--ever.

There must be some other information about our Dear President that you can share with the world that he is too modest to tell us about.
Of course, darling child! I'll distribute another piece of news also. Here it is (and that's enough of this, I am not your postal office, I deliver what people deserve, not necessarily what they want):



Socks? OK: here's a make-it-yourself starter kit for you!



You-ho!


Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
(#34)
Old
Romeo Rovagnati's Avatar
Romeo Rovagnati Romeo Rovagnati is offline
Jesuit Insurgency Operative
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cathlick Eurotrash Messicant Italian Liar Perv Evil Devil's Trill Sonata Reaper Condemned Sinner Devil

 
Posts: 262
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: The evil city of Rome in the evil country of Italy, who was once Holy
Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 02:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post


This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.
Actually this is what Christians believe. Santa Claus is an americanization of Saint Nicholas that they stole from the Dutch with the only purpose of selling some bottle of Coca Cola.


Of course, if someone were to ask me if Santa exists, i would answer them that since Saint Nicholas exists, Santa is real too.
(#35)
Old
BibleReader2231's Avatar
BibleReader2231 BibleReader2231 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Heaven Bound True Christian Beauty Virgin Most Obedient Pro-Life Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
BibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 03:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, my goodness, Miss Brent! Since you are a guest on , don't you think that your discourse should be centered around the topic of the glorious birth of our , , rather than flirting with a demon-possessed agent of who pedals his false message and pretends to be interested in the welfare of our children? Seeing as we are so close to mas, one would think that the importance of December 25th would be a suitable clue for you.

And, I do sincerely hope that that egg"nob" was not spiked with demonic rum!

Proverbs 20:1 "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise."


Oh, dear Sister Maxine: I do think you are right here, and I must commend you for taking such a stand; although, considering how Miss Brent is somewhat "tipsy" this evening, I do feel, most assuredly, that entrusting her with the care of delicate porcelain collectibles would be most unwise.

A blessed evening to both of you,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

Sister Isabella,

After careful consideration I have come to a decision to gift someone I look up to as my role model for Christmas this year. You. After tithing part of my allowance extra this Christmas to my church and buying gifts for my Pa and extended family, I see that I have about some money left. I found a “knitting girl” hummel at the goodwill while doing Christmas shopping. Knowing that you collect such delicate porcelain figures and knowing you would take care of them, I am going back to pick it up for you. I believe buying you such an object would be the best use of my money. God knows those Salvation Army freaks will just feed the homeless people’s drug problems.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
(#36)
Old
Isabella White's Avatar
Isabella White Isabella White is offline
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Anti-abortion True Christian Lady Cleanest Kitchen Trumpette True Christian Granny Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Real American™ Teabag Patriot Trump of GOD Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College Stamp of Approval Born again virgin Most Obedient Barney BFF of Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Rejoicing Cup of Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,706
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Sister Isabella,

After careful consideration I have come to a decision to gift someone I look up to as my role model for Christmas this year. You. After tithing part of my allowance extra this Christmas to my church and buying gifts for my Pa and extended family, I see that I have about some money left. I found a “knitting girl” hummel at the goodwill while doing Christmas shopping. Knowing that you collect such delicate porcelain figures and knowing you would take care of them, I am going back to pick it up for you. I believe buying you such an object would be the best use of my money. God knows those Salvation Army freaks will just feed the homeless people’s drug problems.
Oh, dear Sister Maxine, this is so kind of you -- goodness! I hope you won't mind my saying, though, but I don't feel that I'm at all deserving of such an honor as this lovely Hummel figurine. And, it's not like I need another dust collector, but I do thank you for the very kind thought. Might I suggest that you, instead, dedicate any unused allowance funds toward the jet plane fund for Pastor Zeke? Or, if you've already purchased the item, it might be donated to your local Baptist church's rummage sale.

Thanks again very much, Dear, and I wish you the best for a Merry mas.


Sincerely, Isabella W.


(#37)
Old
BibleReader2231's Avatar
BibleReader2231 BibleReader2231 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Heaven Bound True Christian Beauty Virgin Most Obedient Pro-Life Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
BibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 05:44 PM

Sister Isabella,

I have tried to find ways to donate to Pastor Zeke’s jet fund with my allowance wherever I can. It pains me to say that since I don’t live or work in Freehold, I am unable to donate my money. The only way to have had it work out was when I watched Pastor Deacon Fred’s videos. I took one of my father’s checks as his website instructed and made it out to C.A.S.H. I didn’t even ask what that acronym stood for but I was excited. Unfortunately my Pa doesn’t allow me access to his checkbook anymore after that day.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
(#38)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 8,122
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-20-2019, 06:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
Is that the gingerbread-style ornamental porch most popular in the gay 90's? 1890's that is. Did the Queen Anne revival exist in Biblical Bethlehem? *hic*
Duh! The painting is showing the "real" Santa kneeling before a Nativity scene set up on someone's lawn. That is why Santa is larger than the other figures that are actually statues flirting with idolatry.


That is why there is snow on the ground and a relatively modern Western Civilization style house.


The real problem with the picture is that it is telling confused, "wannabe" Christians that it is possible to marry the Santa mythology with the Truth™ of the Biblical narrative about Jesus' birth.*


Since Santa is presented as kneeling reverently before the Baby Jesus, uninformed people will take that as leave to believe in Santa and the Bible. Well, you can't have both, folks.

It's either Jesus, and the miracle of His birth followed by His Ministry of Salvation and His Sacrificial Death and Resurrection-- or a fat, bearded toy-maker whose only punishment for evil is that he leaves lumps of coal rather than send naughty children to Hell.


* And we know how God feels about mixed marriages!


Deuteronomy 7:3-4


Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
(#39)
Old
Santa Claus's Avatar
Santa Claus Santa Claus is offline
Unsaved Trash, Obese Child-Molesting Demon

Full of it Evil Perv

 
Posts: 115
Join Date: Dec 1971
Location: North Pole
Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-22-2019, 01:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati View Post
Actually this is what Christians believe. Santa Claus is an americanization of Saint Nicholas that they stole from the Dutch with the only purpose of selling some bottle of Coca Cola.


Of course, if someone were to ask me if Santa exists, i would answer them that since Saint Nicholas exists, Santa is real too.
Ho ho Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name?

It is of course nice, my child, that you have Faith® in me, but, as said, faith is overrated and, anyway, it is a very poor method to discern Truth from disinformation. That said, you're a nice boy, aren't you? You used to be so obedient when you where a mere altar boy. Remember the Ointment that I used to deliver to you each and every Christmas? Just in case, I'll make a special extra de-luxe delivery just for you also this year! Now with lidocaine!




Use it wisely! But not too little.

Ho ho ho!


Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
(#40)
Old
Santa Claus's Avatar
Santa Claus Santa Claus is offline
Unsaved Trash, Obese Child-Molesting Demon

Full of it Evil Perv

 
Posts: 115
Join Date: Dec 1971
Location: North Pole
Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019! - 12-22-2019, 01:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
It pains me to say that since I don’t live or work in Freehold, I am unable to donate my money,
Maxxie Babee! What pains you may be a relief for the large majority of mankind! But in your cute naïveté you are of course quite nice and not too naughty. I know you wish that you were naughtier especially with regards to the lingerie department, but there just isn't an extra-super-large size of unmentionables that would fit you and it is too late for the elves to start knitting (we'll see again next year). So here's something to relieve your pain. It is HOT and will give you a taste of what Jesus will do to you if you don't accept him in the manner that the majority of the people on this website (erroneously) demand. Howdy ho.



Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
 

Bookmarks

Tags
gifts, santa claus

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved