[Gabriel Reproba]

Men, I just read a disturbing story. It describes a pathetic group of "fuzzy bunny" Christians who have banded together to play professional soccer in the name of God. From the article:

“I don’t think God cares if we win or lose,” Eagles captain Josh Rife says, shrugging. Coach Mark Steffens agrees: “Our No. 1 goal is not winning games. Our goal is to bring glory to God.”


“My ministry is to grow 26 guys into men,” Steffens says. “Men who do the right thing.” That goes for both on and off the field. On the field, the men are expected to be above reproach. They know better than to tug on an opponent’s jersey, run out the clock or take a dive to fake a foul.

What!?! "I don't think God cares if we win or lose?" I kept scanning the article for the part where the reporter asked the obvious question: "Care to back that up with Scripture?" But they never did.


Of COURSE God wants us to win. He just wants us to know that it is only possible with Him. Otherwise, he will make sure you get your rear-end handed to you. Victory is sure if Christ is your guide. The Bible says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13) Translation, if I believe in Jesus Christ enough, I can do anything. If I don't I will burn in Hell.


This is the problem with fuzzy-heading, "The Bible Is Love" pansy Christians. They are contributing to the sissyfication of America. Look how they twist Scripture:

As for whether God cares if a team wins or loses, he says that “isn’t a biblical view.” He cites the book of Job, in which God let a righteous man lose his family, livestock and health. God cares more about the bigger picture - the response of a man’s heart, as he did with Job - than he does about making sure they look good, Rife says.

How can you cite Job and 1) not take into account how the story ends, and 2) conclude that God doesn't care about winning and losing?

First of all, while God did kill all of Job's children, his wife, his livestock, and his slaves, in the end, God makes it up to Job by giving him BETTER wives, BETTER children, a BETTER house, BETTER slaves, BETTER livestock, etc. Job wins BIG TIME in the story.

Second, I wonder if this pinko prayer passer remembers WHY God killed all those people with horrible deaths and made Job suffer horrible diseases and the like? It was to win a BET with Satan! That's right, if we take the hugs-n-kisses Christian's analogy (where the athletes are like Job), to its conclusion, God is gambling on sports. I don't know about you, but there is no-one I have seen who cares more about who wins a sporting event than a guy who has put his mortgage on the line to see if the Steelers will cover the spread.

Finally....SOCCER? Of all sports, they pick soccer? Everyone knows God hates soccer. Everyone who knows God, that is. These confused Christians don't seem to have gotten the memo. God will be giving them a red card when the die. That means a one match ban from Heaven for them!