[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Didymus Much

Has anyone checked:

1) Cancun, and

2) the balance in Zeke's new jet fund?

Completely unrelated questions, of course.

I can only speak to the second question. All money in Pastor Zeke's new jet fund is accounted for.

This is rather a peculiar question. Anyone reading her posts here at LBC can tell she comes from considerable wealth and conducts herself accordingly.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

she comes from considerable wealth and conducts herself accordingly.

So it's a kidnapping, I knew it. What do they want?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

So it's a kidnapping, I knew it. What do they want?

We haven't received any random demands yet. We could easily meet whatever demands that might come along but I think there is a better response.

We have a crack police force in Freehold. When we get the first note we can simple turn it over to our PD and she will be back here shortly. And, we know Sister Handmaiden is persuasive. She may simply pray over her abductors and they will fold.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

And, we know Sister Handmaiden is persuasive. She may simply pray over her abductors and they will fold.

That's true, Mr. Mayor. Sister "Handi" also has some other tricks up her sleeve if you know what I mean. But it's so unlike her to miss a tithe. That's what I'm concerned about.

[James Hutchins]

I heard Sister Handy is having one of her knitting frenzy. She is making the 300 person Landover Baptist Church Choir matching sweaters. You know how she gets when she takes on a project. Remember when she wanted to brick the paths in the park? 27 miles of paths, all hand laid with brick. Perfect job, but no one saw her for two years unless they were in the park. Which was rare because, everyone in Landover has spectacular estates and there is no reason to go to the park.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

I heard Sister Handy is having one of her knitting frenzy. She is making the 300 person Landover Baptist Church Choir matching sweaters. You know how she gets when she takes on a project. Remember when she wanted to brick the paths in the park? 27 miles of paths, all hand laid with brick. Perfect job, but no one saw her for two years unless they were in the park. Which was rare because, everyone in Landover has spectacular estates and there is no reason to go to the park.

Glory! There does seem to be a tendency for members of the forum to vanish for years and pop up later online. I assume it simply means they're tending to their church duties in real life. After all, this website is only one small facet of LBC's operations.

[MitzaLizalor]

Kidnapping is more of a Latin crime and you hear such dreadful stories. She could be in Spain by now, indoctrinated with the rock music, brainwashed by Spaniards, trapped in a phantasmagoric dungeon serving ice cream and lollipops.

I'd be willing to go there and see what I can find out. Almost willing. If the Pastors insisted, I wouldn't want to against their recommendation and I can't really think of anything worse. Well, a French dungeon perhaps.

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

Kidnapping is more of a Latin crime and you hear such dreadful stories. She could be in Spain by now, indoctrinated with the rock music, brainwashed by Spaniards, trapped in a phantasmagoric dungeon serving ice cream and lollipops.

Is this Spanish rock? Horrible. Just horrible.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

Kidnapping is more of a Latin crime and you hear such dreadful stories. She could be in Spain by now, indoctrinated with the rock music, brainwashed by Spaniards, trapped in a phantasmagoric dungeon serving ice cream and lollipops.

Oh, my goodness, dear Sister Mitza! I am afraid that I've had similar fears about our dear Sister Handmaiden — being abducted and taken away to some heathen, foreign land.

Why, can you imagine if she had been kidnapped and then forced to do some very strange, demonic, exotic dancing? How we need to pray for our dear sister!

go there and see what I can find out. Almost willing. If the Pastors i

[Cranky Old Man]

I suddenly have a sharp pain in my ears. Is she back?

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

I suddenly have a sharp pain in my ears. Is she back?

I haven't seen her. Did you happen to click the video Sister Isabella posted above, the one with the demon? That would explain any ear pain or headaches.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Pheraps, she is praying with the rosary in order to keep herself safe from an eventual war with Russia and China.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati

Pheraps, she is praying with the rosary in order to keep herself safe from an eventual war with Russia and China.

Sister Handmaiden knows she will be removed from LBC is she prays with the rosary--she is not doing that.

What I worry about is the possibility she been caught up in "Women's Liberation." I don't want to hear about a "new career path" or other nonsense about a life outside of the kitchen.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I think we should accept the fact that people sometimes disappear without explanation - recall the case of Enoch, son of Jared.

Genesis 5
In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth: And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters: And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died.

And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos: And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years: and he died.

And Enos lived ninety years, and begat Cainan: And Enos lived after he begat Cainan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Enos were nine hundred and five years: and he died.

And Cainan lived seventy years, and begat Mahalaleel: And Cainan lived after he begat Mahalaleel eight hundred and forty years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years: and he died.

And Mahalaleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared: And Mahalaleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died.

And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch: And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.

And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah: And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years: And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.

And Methuselah lived an hundred eighty and seven years, and begat Lamech: And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.

And Lamech lived an hundred eighty and two years, and begat a son: And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the LORD hath cursed. And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.

And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

I suddenly have a sharp pain in my ears. Is she back?

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

I haven't seen her. Did you happen to click the video Sister Isabella posted above, the one with the demon? That would explain any ear pain or headaches.

Oh, I do think you've explained this very well, dear Brother Lukes. Yes, that demon in the video clip would be enough to give our beloved Brother Cranky an ear ache. I just hope Sister Handmaiden has not been forced to engage in any of that ritualistic, demonic activity that was shown in the ungodly video. But that's what happens when one is taken to heathen nations, such as Iran, China, Indonesia, Sweden, or even Holland. Why, just look at the way those Dutchmen indoctrinate their children into wearing fiendish costumes at such an early age!

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Isabella White

I just hope Sister Handmaiden has not been forced to engage in any of that ritualistic, demonic activity that was shown in the ungodly video.

Nice description but I would have used the term "autistic" instead. Seriously, that's just a bunch of retards dressed up in Halloween costumes beating on pots and pans and rolling around on the floor. I'd beat the piss out of them if they were my kids.

[Adam Fag]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

I think we should accept the fact that people sometimes disappear without explanation - recall the case of Enoch, son of Jared.

And here we have it. God moves through space and to "walk with God" means to fly with Him in a space craft. In the case of The Ark, it got here and here we all are. Safe. But a ship in space could blow up light years from Earth and that would be the end of that.

How would that seem to cave men? They'd know who'd gone off with God, who came back from time to time and who, on one trip, the one that crashed in space, did not. How would they write this down? They'd say he walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.

QED

[Romeo Rovagnati]

I'm also a bit worried for Mrs. Harsha Shah. Did she survived the Corona pandemic in Scotland? I'm pretty sure she would add another woman in her signature, since Italy has a new government (no, I'm not talking about the godless Elly Schlein ).

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati

I'm also a bit worried for Mrs. Harsha Shah. Did she survived the Corona pandemic in Scotland? I'm pretty sure she would add another woman in her signature, since Italy has a new government (no, I'm not talking about the godless Elly Schlein ).

Oh my goodness, liberal Harsha Shah (here). I am hoping she married and is having babies.