[Uncle Rutherford]

Which one of you snuck into Pastor Ezekiel’s mansion last night and flushed a sanitary napkin down his toilet? Aside from them being BANNED in Freehold, I’ll have you know that they cause severe clots in Pastor Ezekiel’s solid gold septic system. It’s not easy having to climb into it every few days to shovel everything out, and a sanitary napkin just exacerbates the issue times ten. I know that Daisy Mae has been out of town for quite a while so I know it couldn’t possibly be her. The only possible explanation is that a female decided to be dastardly and sabotage our dear Pastor’s plumbing. Fess up. Don’t make me have to come by your house and pull down your unmentionables for a cavity search (which I am granted as per one of my janitorial tithing opportunities). Pastor Ezekiel will be so upset when he finds out how he’s been violated I’m sure.

[Unfalsifiable]

That was a sanitary napkin? I thought it was a cleaning sponge, I was giving the state bathroom its customary 2nd over, slipped, fell and it went down the toilet.


Come to think of it, I've never seen a sanitary napkin before.



This is all my fault. Please do not look into this incident any further.