Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-03-2019, 05:42 PM
Ladies,
I am concerned about the women candidates trying to run against President Trump in 2020 and even more concerned that Christian women aren't doing more to combat it. The ONLY female that God would have blessed in office is Michele Bachmann, because she put Him first in everything and even though she had a gay husband, she was not about to lose her faith in America or in Jesus. So:
I am considering building a national group of devoted Christian women to hold rallies wherever the female candidates are appearing. My ex-lezbean friend Tank is already up to her nose in other womens business so I will need a dependable leader to take the reins. With all the things I am involved in, it's just impossible for me to take my talents away from the homers to lead the weaker gender in this effort.
I want you to all pray about it and nominate the woman of Landover that you think will suit this crusade best of all. Give me some reasons why. Don't be shy. Nominate yourself if you feel you'd be best. Time is running out on the Trump presidency unless he changes the law (the best thing that could happen) so he has an indefinite term. Four more years is not enough but we HAVE to get those four more years. America's problems are too great despite Donald's amazing knack for handling things bigly.
This is no time to sit back knitting. Let's start hitting the streets, ladies. Bring a map.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-03-2019, 09:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
Ladies,
I am concerned about the women candidates trying to run against President Trump in 2020 and even more concerned that Christian women aren't doing more to combat it. The ONLY female that God would have blessed in office is Michele Bachmann, because she put Him first in everything and even though she had a gay husband, she was not about to lose her faith in America or in Jesus. So:
I am considering building a national group of devoted Christian women to hold rallies wherever the female candidates are appearing. My ex-lezbean friend Tank is already up to her nose in other womens business so I will need a dependable leader to take the reins. With all the things I am involved in, it's just impossible for me to take my talents away from the homers to lead the weaker gender in this effort.
I want you to all pray about it and nominate the woman of Landover that you think will suit this crusade best of all. Give me some reasons why. Don't be shy. Nominate yourself if you feel you'd be best. Time is running out on the Trump presidency unless he changes the law (the best thing that could happen) so he has an indefinite term. Four more years is not enough but we HAVE to get those four more years. America's problems are too great despite Donald's amazing knack for handling things bigly.
This is no time to sit back knitting. Let's start hitting the streets, ladies. Bring a map.
|
Oh, darling Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry: My, what a clever young man you are -- always so thoughtful and attentive! You know, it was just recently when I was thinking about our dear Sister Michele and what a fine servant of the she is. And now, you've so kindly brought this to our attention, so I can only say that this is the Will of Almighty, that we should work together for this cause, unreservedly, and with all of our might. The forces of will not stand in our way!
Matthew 16:18 "And I say also unto thee ... upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."
You can count on me to give my support as much as I can, although at my advanced age, I suspect that many of the younger ones will be more suited to the job. What we need is a very organized, much younger, prettier representative of the Gospel of -- someone such as our beloved Joanna Lytton-Vasey. Sister Joanna knows the , as she so patiently verifies in her postings daily, and I think she would be an ideal candidate! As mentioned, I will still give as much support as I can, and I will even bring my tambourine to the rallies. If coaxed enough, I might even offer a lovely song of praise prior to the meeting.
Well, it's all something that we should think about seriously, and I do thank you, darling Brother Larry, for giving this the attention that it so rightfully deserves.
Ladies: let's get this ball rolling and see our glorified!
A blessed day to you, sweet Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella
P.S. I just know that Sister Michele would be so very pleased with you, Larry, darling!
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
|
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
|
|
Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-03-2019, 10:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White
What we need is a very organized, much younger, prettier representative of the Gospel of -- someone such as our beloved Joanna Lytton-Vasey. Sister Joanna knows the , as she so patiently verifies in her postings daily, and I think she would be an ideal candidate!
|
That's such a sweet thought, Sister. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what practical help I can provide at this time, what with being so very far away from civilization in Godless England, pending the completion of my husband's mission here, and fairly busy raising 12 boys (plus a girl), the youngest of whom (as yet unnamed - suggestions would be welcome!) is not yet 3 weeks old. My husband, who is always wise in such matters, would never agree to such a thing.
I think what we need here is an older lady - older, yet still stylishly elegant - ideally a widow. A woman of experience. It is a shame that Sister Cookie is so busy - too busy, it seems, to even answer the phone or respond to emails?
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-03-2019, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
That's such a sweet thought, Sister. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what practical help I can provide at this time, what with being so very far away from civilization in Godless England, pending the completion of my husband's mission here, and fairly busy raising 12 boys (plus a girl), the youngest of whom (as yet unnamed - suggestions would be welcome!) is not yet 3 weeks old. My husband, who is always wise in such matters, would never agree to such a thing.
I think what we need here is an older lady - older, yet still stylishly elegant - ideally a widow. A woman of experience. It is a shame that Sister Cookie is so busy - too busy, it seems, to even answer the phone or respond to emails?
|
Oh, my goodness me! Please forgive me, dear Sister Joanna, as I had forgotten about that somewhat inconvenient part of your being in exile on that rather over-crowded island in the far north somewhere. Gracious, yes, it would not be easy for you to drop everything and to come to , would it? Although, one wonders how tempting it would be to escape from that three-ring circus in your land, the one that is known as "Clownish Boris."
Now, then, I had thought of Sister Mitzalizalor, but she's in some far-flung, remote place, too. Sister DolliMoans would be ideal, except that she's having her ongoing issues with children running away from home. Sister Maxine is as as green as a grasshopper, so she won't do. Well, we'll just have to pray about this. In the meantime, Ladies, please step up and bring forth your qualifications for consideration. And kindly think of Sister Michele Bachmann when doing so -- she should be more than enough inspiration for our great work for !
A blessed evening to all,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-04-2019, 01:37 AM
Actually Sister Mitza lives in Freehold.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
|
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-04-2019, 02:49 AM
It's a shame that Sister Virginia D. Templeton no longer posts on the forum. She was ALMOST as smart as a man. Her brilliant posts skewered liberals, faggots, coons, and atheists. " Lawd Have Mercy! Christianity & the Negro" ought to be required reading for homeschoolers.
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-04-2019, 04:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
Actually Sister Mitza lives in Freehold.
|
Oh, good Heaven above! How did I make that mistake, dear darling Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry? I must have been confused with someone else. See? This is why this job is meant for someone much younger than this old lady! I do thank you so kindly for correcting me, and it just goes to show how lucky we are to have someone as sharp as you, "on your toes". Truly, you are a watchman on the wall!
Isaiah 62:6 " I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the Lord, keep not silence".
A blessed day in the to you, darling Brother Larry,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-04-2019, 10:15 PM
Sw
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White
Oh, good Heaven above! How did I make that mistake, dear darling Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry? I must have been confused with someone else. See? This is why this job is meant for someone much younger than this old lady! I do thank you so kindly for correcting me, and it just goes to show how lucky we are to have someone as sharp as you, "on your toes". Truly, you are a watchman on the wall!
Isaiah 62:6 " I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the Lord, keep not silence".
A blessed day in the to you, darling Brother Larry,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella
|
Sweet Precious Darling Great Granny Isabella,
It is my pleasure to watch men from the walls. Without my careful eyes upon them, they might fall deeper into sin and I just couldn't live with myself knowing I had a chance to rest them in the bosom of Abraham and our manly Savior. It is my remembrance (and from checking a few old posts) that Sister Mitza leases a condo from Sister Naomi Ruth Lamb, a wealthy and somewhat worldly woman with a great tasting pie according to herself and many of Freehold's men. Where she is now, I don't know. Perhaps Mitza does.
Dearest Granny, it hurts me to hear you discredit your faculties due to age. I know you're a decrepit old woman with a dried up peach pit but you're extremely sharp and witty. I hope you live forever and ever but if you feel you aren't going to, remember we have that attorney all set for you to take care of your final wishes and I can get him over to your house in a heartbeat. Please don't let your heartbeat stop before we do.
With all the love a fine young man can muster,
BrotherLarry
Revelation 22:12
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-05-2019, 09:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
Sweet Precious Darling Great Granny Isabella,
It is my pleasure to watch men from the walls. Without my careful eyes upon them, they might fall deeper into sin and I just couldn't live with myself knowing I had a chance to rest them in the bosom of Abraham and our manly Savior. It is my remembrance (and from checking a few old posts) that Sister Mitza leases a condo from Sister Naomi Ruth Lamb, a wealthy and somewhat worldly woman with a great tasting pie according to herself and many of Freehold's men. Where she is now, I don't know. Perhaps Mitza does.
Dearest Granny, it hurts me to hear you discredit your faculties due to age. I know you're a decrepit old woman with a dried up peach pit but you're extremely sharp and witty. I hope you live forever and ever but if you feel you aren't going to, remember we have that attorney all set for you to take care of your final wishes and I can get him over to your house in a heartbeat. Please don't let your heartbeat stop before we do.
With all the love a fine young man can muster,
BrotherLarry
Revelation 22:12
|
Oh, dear, darling Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry: My, you certainly do know how to make an old lady weep, don't you? I've had to summon my maid to bring me one of my lovely crocheted lace handkerchiefs, due to sobbing over such loving comments from you. I know I mustn't feel badly that my age is keeping me from this project, but I'm sure that Sister Mitza, Sister Mary or Sister Basilissa will be able to step up and carry the banner wondrously. As for my "dried up peach pit", I'm not so sure that I understand you here. It is true that I bought some peaches last Friday (how did you know?), and on Saturday, I made a lovely pie, using my very own pastry made with freshly-churned, unsalted butter from the local dairy. But the pits were composted, so I can't imagine why you might be confused here. Oh, and do remind me to send you the recipe and a pie, as I know you will love it so.
Now, as for your ministry and being a watchman on the wall, that is something for which there is great admiration by all servants of the , here at . And, as for my seeing my lawyer soon to ensure that you will receive your generous inheritance, you won't need to worry about that, dear boy. I've just fixed things rather nicely for you. Just this morning, when I opened up my computer mailbox thingy, I noticed a new letter from a woman from England (that's where Sister Joanna lives, if I'm not mistaken). Mrs. Jasso is a rather wealthy woman, at that, and she has written to inform me that her dear husband had left her as beneficiary of a fund of 9 million pounds Sterling, to open homes for orphans and abused women. But, Mrs. Jasso is suffering with cancer and is unable to do this, so she wants to transfer those funds to me. And since I do not need the money, I could only think of how your blessed gospel ministry would benefit from this money greatly. There's no need for you to do anything to activate the transaction, dear Brother Larry. I've already sent her your name, address and phone number, so you shall be hearing from her shortly.
A blessed day to you, dear, darling Brother Larry,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: Sweet Sister Great Granny Isabella and others -
08-09-2019, 02:04 PM
Dearest Great Granny
This person in the UK is actually a scammer in Nigeria so thank God you gave them no personal information about yourself and they were unable to get anything from my account without more details.
You simply must stop being so trusting of people because the interwebs are treacherous and filled with folks who prey on unsuspecting elderly people trying to latch onto their riches for evil purposes. It is for that reason I have been trying to aid you in a Godly way so when you’re gone your lovely home will be in good hands as well as your dusty glass thingies and so your money will continue to be used for the glory of God. Think of all the men I will touch all over the world simply because you believed in me and my True Christian ™ witness. I hope you will live forever but we both know that you’re going to die so why not finish your remaining years knowing you did the best you could do for me? And please don’t let some lawyer talk you out of it. Let my lawyer handle it for free so we can both have peace of mind. Glory!!!!!!!
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|