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Reload this Page It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week!
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-13-2011, 10:49 PM
Today I sent Zeke in to town for a full body massage so he will be nice and relaxed for his long weekend celebrating his GODLY Birthday.

He called when he was done and said Rev. Jim was also there enjoying a relaxing massage, then said some about a happy ending.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETY-PIE!









I Hope you aren't too tired for my special pie tonight!





Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-13-2011, 10:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaxBro View Post
you know faggots like me get on their knees to do sinful things. are you saying your a faggot?
Shame on you, homer.

When True Christians™ get on their knees in front of Pastor Zeke, we do so in reverence of his position as a Pastor.

I'm personally shocked you would raise this issue and hope you are banned from further posting.

The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

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Angry Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-13-2011, 11:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaxBro View Post
you know faggots like me get on their knees to do sinful things. are you saying your a faggot?
You seem to know a lot about this.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-13-2011, 11:14 PM
Happy Birthday to God's favorite Pastor. I always enjoy a good one on one sermon from Pastor Ezekiel

-Every young man's battle - PORN AND MASTURBATION![/SIZE]
-DISOWN your ATHEIST children - just like this good mother did!!

-FINALLY!! Some rights for the rapists!!
-There is no such thing as animal abuse!!
-Pregnancy through RAPE is a GIFT from God
-Keep the Fags out of the Boy Scouts!!
-WIVES!! Stay in your abusive relationship!

STOP, DROP & ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL!!!!
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-13-2011, 11:35 PM
We're chipping in to buy you the E-go Diamond Notebook.




The Tulip E-Go Diamond notebook is inlaid with solid palladium white gold plates in which thousands (80 carats) of top-quality, brilliant cut diamonds have been pave set with surgical precision. The magnificent end result also incorporates a unique square cut ruby set in both Tulip logos and costs 283,000 Euros (US$355,000).

Did you want it in black or tan leather?

Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-13-2011, 11:48 PM
Happy birthday!! Hope it's a great one
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-13-2011, 11:51 PM
I'll be Buying Pastor Ezekiel the $100 Hamburger sprinkled with Gold Dust - just like they Eat on Wall Street!
No more "Hamburger Mary's" for our Pastor Ezekiel!
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-14-2011, 12:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
We're chipping in to buy you the E-go Diamond Notebook.




The Tulip E-Go Diamond notebook is inlaid with solid palladium white gold plates in which thousands (80 carats) of top-quality, brilliant cut diamonds have been pave set with surgical precision. The magnificent end result also incorporates a unique square cut ruby set in both Tulip logos and costs 283,000 Euros (US$355,000).

Did you want it in black or tan leather?
I skipped lunch four a whole week so i could tithe a little more to help pay four it but thats' not the suprize i mentoned above.
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-14-2011, 12:34 AM
Happy Birthday Pastor Zeke!

There is nothing like some wholesome Godly music to make your birthday a fun party! I was going through my extensive collection and actually have duplicates of these three.

"Let Me Touch Him" - A moving collection from this quartet so devoted to Jesus Christ that they sing in praise that they may touch our Savior!

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"He Touched Me" - Inspirational music from a young child after being touched by Jesus!

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"Our Hearts Keep Singing" - The Braillettes, having been smitten with blindness for whatever filthy sin, prove that even the retarded can have a personal relationship with God, Praise Him!

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May you enjoy in good health on your special day and may God bless you!

In Christ

Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-14-2011, 01:33 AM
Wasn't that one in the middle in Dawn of the Dead?
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-14-2011, 02:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
OH SWEET JESUS those gimps give me the heebie-jeebies! Look at it! Get it away! Somebody get it away from me!!

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-14-2011, 03:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
OH SWEET JESUS those gimps give me the heebie-jeebies! Look at it! Get it away! Somebody get it away from me!!
Oh, very well. I'll admit that they look like 40 miles of bad gravel road, but the songs they sing for Jesus are heartbreaking and so inspirational.

I will add the real deal to the parcel post tomorrow for your birthday.

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You will have a wild and crazy birthday with this LP, Pastor!

In Christ

Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-14-2011, 12:01 PM
Happy birthday Pastor Ezekiel. Although I am unsaved trash, I think you are a wonderful pastor, Landover is extremely blessed to have you. You have given me so much insight over the last few months. This blessing from Malachi is for you;

"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts,
if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing,
that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

Malachi 3:10

Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-14-2011, 01:57 PM
Happy Birthday Pastor. I can't celebrate with you because I am stuck in sinful England but have a wonderful time. Next time I'm down on my knees I will be thinking of you,

YiC

Jack

Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-15-2011, 12:03 PM
Happy birthday to my favourite Pastor and thank you for accepting me and getting my life back on track

The Shela Tansper corrective school for boys 13 to 18 years old

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A passage a day keeps satan away
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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-16-2011, 12:21 AM
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Originally Posted by SUV View Post
Bless you, Child - you are (finally!) learning.

It is indeed a new and Glorious year each year that The Christ allows Pastor Ezekiel to Live and continue to inform us of our many sins.

And you are two days early, too!

Now I do Hope that all of your Chores regarding the door-to-door deliveries to the Mens have been completed on time for once
I din't have time on accounta I been cleanin' Pastoor Zeke's yard fer his Birthday. Daddy said it was the bestest thing ta' do till thuh sheriff broughted his heop back.
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Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-16-2011, 02:09 PM
So how many fresh houseboy's did Zekie Boy get for his birthday?
(Note to self: check shares in Johnson & Johnson)

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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-16-2011, 05:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie View Post
So how many fresh houseboy's did Zekie Boy get for his birthday?
(Note to self: check shares in Johnson & Johnson)
Servants aren't birthday gifts you heathen fool. What kind of a monster are you? Have you no decency? Do noodle-worshiping pirates actually give human beings as birthday presents to each other?

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-16-2011, 05:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Servants aren't birthday gifts you heathen fool. What kind of a monster are you? Have you no decency? Do noodle-worshiping pirates actually give human beings as birthday presents to each other?
No, but I am not the one with a stable of house boys am I Zekie Boy?
In a touchy mood because you didn't get any new ones?

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Default Re: It's Pastor Ezekiel's Birthday Week! - 07-16-2011, 05:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie View Post
No, but I am not the one with a stable of house boys am I Zekie Boy?
In a touchy mood because you didn't get any new ones?
Watch your mouth Jo Freddie.

Pastor Ezekiel is a man of God.

Romans 13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation
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