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Default Is Jesus a Gamer? - 07-26-2019, 06:34 PM

Fellow Christians, don't get me wrong here - Jesus hates Gamers, and so do I. This unfortunate part of our unemployed population, with their addled brains from consuming Cheetos and Red Bull cola, still live rent-free in their parent's basements - only occasionally emerging when the WiFi goes down or the power goes out.

If these useless dregs of humanity had any real interest in weapons, they'd get out from behind their gamer consoles, get some real fire arms training, and join a militia to protect our borders. Better yet, get a real job and contribute another few percentage points of GDP to Donald Trump's already great economy - but I digress.

We all know that Jesus has been targeting the corrupt Democrat run state of California with warnings to repent - everything from pestilence to drought, floods, mud slides, and earthquakes. Recently our government bureaucrats and scientists at NOAA, under the Godly leadership of Trump, have released a composite video of Jesus' smiting of the rampant sin and sodomy in California.

I have to admit it looks like great fun sitting behind Jesus' earthquake console.

Earthquakes of California: 1989 - 2019



Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Is Jesus a Gamer? - 07-27-2019, 02:09 AM

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Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post

I have to admit it looks like great fun sitting behind Jesus' earthquake console.

Earthquakes of California: 1989 - 2019
I think Jesus is saying, "Even though my birthday, Christmas, is not celebrated much in California, I can make the whole state look like a Christmas Tree all year round. Let's light it up!"

A gamer is one way to describe the work of Jesus. Another might be "clutch player." He comes through when big plays are needed. California is an example. Sin is everywhere and the entire state is giving Jesus the bird. He know just how to respond.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Is Jesus a Gamer? - 07-28-2019, 12:14 PM

Gamers have been doing great work lately, when it comes to resisting the feminist agenda.


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Default Re: Is Jesus a Gamer? - 07-28-2019, 12:48 PM

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Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Gamers have been doing great work lately, when it comes to resisting the feminist agenda.
Yes, their imaginary girlfriends are very Christian-like, submissive and looking for alpha males. If only they did not pee themselves when a woman talks to them in real life, well, they could find a girl like that in the nearest Baptist Church.


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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