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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
06-30-2019, 04:17 PM
Since you doubted me and obviously didn’t listen to the Lord I hope the vengeance of God isn’t too extreme but I would be begging forgiveness if I were you. Ungrateful little twit.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
06-30-2019, 04:23 PM
^Aunt Jezebel never picked up or bothered to call back. Also, Pete’s towing yelled at me with belligerence when I tried to call and explain that Jesus prepaid a tow.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
06-30-2019, 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
I want to share a truly miraculous moment with you all. Around 1:00 AM I was woken up by shining lights in front of me. At first I thought it was flashlights but who would use those on a highway? Seems silly. It was only then that I realized that it’s most likely angels from heaven keeping watch over me during the night. I heard shouts from outside saying “Is anyone in there?” “Do you need help” and my favorite “What in God’s name is a child doing alone on the side of the highway”. Truly, they must’ve been angels! I responded to the figures of light that I am just fine and waiting for Jesus to come fix my flat tire. By that time, I heard a bunch of laughter and the lights were dimmed. Never heard another word from the angels.
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Oh, and a good, blessed Lord's Day to you, dear Sister Maxine! I am so glad to learn that you've had such a good night, even though you were stranded in the wilderness. And I praise the for answering our prayers and giving you Protection. Yes, indeed, those lights that you saw were the halos of the heavenly angels that were sent to you by Almighty. And the "laughter" that you heard was actually the voice of the angels, chattering away and rejoicing, "We've found her; oh, happiness abounds! Our blessed sister is safe and secure, now and evermore!"
Psalm 91:11"For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways."
Ezekiel 1:28 "As the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud in the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness round about. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw it, I fell upon my face, and I heard a voice of one that spake."
Now, as Brother Hutchins has so kindly noted, you'll be wanting to get yourself to the nearest church (hopefully, a good Baptist one), and while you're there, feel free to use the opportunity that gives you, to testify of Loving Care for you this past night. You never know how many lost souls you will reach when you do this!
A blessed day in the Lord to you, dear Sister Maxine,
Sincerely, Isabella W
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
06-30-2019, 04:31 PM
If the good Lord doesn’t strike her down for disobedience first. Homely cow.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Repenting jooboy
Forum Member
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Posts: 107
Join Date: May 2014
Location: New York City
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
06-30-2019, 05:08 PM
To hear of your suffering and your Pa's lack of faith in God is truly troubling. I hope you are safe and all is well. Please let me know if there is anything I can do since I have considerable wealth. Would you like a boat ride? I would have to hire a boatsman or whatever you call a person who can engineer these vessels.
I have taken the liberty of ordering a new set of tires for your father at your local tire shop. I have done this out of Christian charity. Please do not block my blessing by denying me this opportunity to aid in your time of great need.
I wish you weren't so lovely so I could say I did this only to help - but the fact is, your smile could launch a thousand ships. Perhaps you could launch mine.
Morton W.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
06-30-2019, 05:24 PM
Thank you all for offering help. I must give a new update! A masked man not saying anything with the cross all over his towing truck has hooked the truck up to his. I am hiding below as I think this could truly be the miracle of Jesus I was waiting for! Is he taking this truck and I to Heaven for my faith in him? Will update all of you again once we reach the new destination wherever that may be.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
06-30-2019, 05:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
If the good Lord doesn’t strike her down for disobedience first. Homely cow.
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Her wilful disregard of the Fifth Commandment, not to mention Leviticus 19:3, is shocking. On the bright side, if she does survive this (and I agree that she doesn't deserve to) then at least 24 hours without food will have done her no harm.
Oh no! My eldest boy has just remarked that people like that (called "chavs" in the colorful local dialect) generally have their glove boxes stuffed with greasy snacks.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
06-30-2019, 06:21 PM
And once again it just goes over her unfortunate head. The tow truck is either drug induced or it is a spic taking you to chop off parts to sell and then throw you to the dogs. I doubt you have to worry about rape.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Forum member
Forum Member
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Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-01-2019, 03:13 AM
I pray that the tire is fixed and you don't have to spend another night in the van. However, if it didn't get fixed, then you need to repent of whatever it was you didn't do to have enough faith.
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-03-2019, 12:12 AM
I must’ve passed out from heat exhaustion or something because I don’t remember anything from the last two nights. The truck is nowhere in sight and my Pa isn’t picking up his phone, most obviously on his weekly prayer missionaries to downtown. Anyway, I have awoken in Upstate New York. I contacted Brother Larry who can’t pick me up because he has laundry in the dryer currently. He has sent an uber driven by his friend Bro K and his husband Lance. Brother Larry promises me that their gay won’t infect me and I trust his word.
As for the truck, I can only assume that when Jesus picked it up that he is in need of it to be able to shepherd more Godly Christians to heaven when it’s their time (granted they have reached TC status).
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Forum member
Forum Member
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Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-03-2019, 01:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
I must’ve passed out from heat exhaustion or something because I don’t remember anything from the last two nights. The truck is nowhere in sight and my Pa isn’t picking up his phone, most obviously on his weekly prayer missionaries to downtown. Anyway, I have awoken in Upstate New York. I contacted Brother Larry who can’t pick me up because he has laundry in the dryer currently. He has sent an uber driven by his friend Bro K and his husband Lance. Brother Larry promises me that their gay won’t infect me and I trust his word.
As for the truck, I can only assume that when Jesus picked it up that he is in need of it to be able to shepherd more Godly Christians to heaven when it’s their time (granted they have reached TC status).
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Brother Larry and his friends took such good care of my Matthew, I'm sure he'll make sure you are well taken care of as well!
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member
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Posts: 334
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-03-2019, 06:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
I have been praying non-stop. My neighbor passed by and offered to help out. I told him to not even bother talking to my Pa in the truck because I have unwavering faith in the Lord to come help. My faith in Jesus is unshakable. I will continue posting updates. I sure hope my Pa isn’t too upset that i turned away our neighbor for Jesus.
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you may not understand this but then again you may, the Neighbor was sent by Jesus cause he was too busy and you turned him away.
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-10-2019, 02:14 PM
I am home finally. After several detours including helping to clean out one a certain Person’s log cabin in the woods owned by a “Mr. Epstein” whoever that is. The last stop was a set of bathrooms in Cleveland Ohio. The two men waited outside while I entered the ladies restroom. When I walked out, they both appeared upset but wouldn’t say why. The next day I am finally home. My Pa says he wasn’t worried at all and happy to have time alone. I can only figure this is because he had full faith in Jesus after all! A wonderful ending surely!!!!! Also, there’s a brand new truck outside on the driveway next to our Camaro! Everything seems to have worked itself out with faith in Jesus.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member
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Posts: 334
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-11-2019, 04:40 AM
Somebody’s got to tell her...
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-11-2019, 02:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vengeance Puriel
Somebody’s got to tell her...
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Tell her what, Mr. Puriel? Please spell it out for the good of our beloved Sister Maxine. We're all waiting. The good will bless you for doing so.
Proverbs 11:11 "A false balance is abomination to the Lord: but a just weight is his delight."
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-11-2019, 02:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
I am home finally. After several detours including helping to clean out one a certain Person’s log cabin in the woods owned by a “Mr. Epstein” whoever that is. The last stop was a set of bathrooms in Cleveland Ohio. The two men waited outside while I entered the ladies restroom. When I walked out, they both appeared upset but wouldn’t say why. The next day I am finally home. My Pa says he wasn’t worried at all and happy to have time alone. I can only figure this is because he had full faith in Jesus after all! A wonderful ending surely!!!!! Also, there’s a brand new truck outside on the driveway next to our Camaro! Everything seems to have worked itself out with faith in Jesus.
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Oh, thank the dear , dear Sister Maxine! You don't know how I worried about you so, what with you posting here and there, and yet you were seemingly further from home each time you contacted the prayer warriors here at . But, oh happy, day, you are home now, at long last!
Psalm 5:11 "But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee."
Yes, yes, there has been a Mr. Epstein in the news as of late, but I haven't been following along too keenly. I think it was a news story about (and I might have this wrong) the manager of that singing group, the Beetles. Anyway, no worry, as you're back with your dear Pa once again.
A blessed day to you, dear Sister Maxine,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-11-2019, 03:12 PM
The title of this thread just cries out to be turned into the chorus of a Song of Faith and Praise. One for the common people, that is.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-11-2019, 03:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
The title of this thread just cries out to be turned into the chorus of a Song of Faith and Praise.
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Oh, yes, dear Sister Joanna, that is so blessedly true! And may bless you for thinking of yet another way to bring glory to our and .
I wonder if our much-beloved Brother Larry would have the time to put his tremendous talents to pen and paper, and to compose a lovely hymn for this joyous occasion?
A blessed day to you, Dear Sister Joanna,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
P.S. Now, you've got me humming that title. I can't wait to see what our darling Brother Larry came do with this!
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member
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Posts: 334
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-11-2019, 06:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White
Tell her what, Mr. Puriel? Please spell it out for the good of our beloved Sister Maxine. We're all waiting. The good will bless you for doing so.
Proverbs 11:11 "A false balance is abomination to the Lord: but a just weight is his delight."
Sincerely, Isabella W.
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The lord sent her help over and over again as she requested, and yet she turned his help away.
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Forum member
Forum Member
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Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
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Re: Jesus will fix my Pa’s flat tire. -
07-11-2019, 09:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vengeance Puriel
Somebody’s got to tell her...
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Tell her what?
I'm so glad, Sister Maxine, that you are home safe and sound, and that Jesus gave your Pa a new truck!
As for me, I'm still waiting on my Matthew to come home. He did call and say that he was having the time of his life with his new friends (Brother Larry's ex-gay friends). I think he said it was a revival or something. Whatever it was, he kept saying he was very "proud" of it. Come to think of it, he used the word "pride" a lot.
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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