Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-06-2020, 01:40 AM
I saw my Pa go through my neighbor’s owners manual to help him adjust the tow bar on his 2020 Land Rover. I figured some of the wealthy blessed people of Freehold perhaps have one and wanted to pass along the tidbit of information my Pa found.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-06-2020, 04:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
I saw my Pa go through my neighbor’s owners manual to help him adjust the tow bar on his 2020 Land Rover. I figured some of the wealthy blessed people of Freehold perhaps have one and wanted to pass along the tidbit of information my Pa found.
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Landover Baptist provides vehicles for all of our pastors. The Land Rover has been found to be too slow--our pastors have appointments and business to attend to and need to move fast.
Only Cadillac Escalades have been used for several years. The 2020 models arrived at the Church a few days ago.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-06-2020, 05:40 AM
Greetings!
I myself have long desired to have a Range Rover but so far my finances have not allowed I this much needed necessity. I see them every day in Georgetown which is near Washington DC where I am currently a student at Georgetown University but they are all owned by white people who drive around in them drinking coffee from Starbucks which is a coffee shop where rich with people go. These Range Rovers are priced too high for a Black man to afford which is racist. Maybe Kanye has one or maybe Oprah.
Jah Guide!
Trevor
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-06-2020, 06:32 AM
"To strongly doubt" may be a disputed verb, but who on earth owning a Land Rover would not know about tow bars?
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-06-2020, 06:56 PM
From the picture it looks like those rear suspension arms are pretty low to the ground - hardly enough to avoid damage when hitting the average urban pot hole. Then it looks like an exposed gas tank on the upper right - reminiscent of the fiery deaths in the old Ford Pinto.
The Land Rover image harkens back to the glory days of the old British colonial empire where shithole countries with little or no roads required a robust 4-wheel drive vehicle to exploit the resources of Third World countries. David Attenborough was fond of using these vehicles in his nature films - outpacing a heard of charging elephants across the African savanna.
These days the Land Rover has a reputation of being the most unreliable vehicle manufactured on the planet. This is hardly an endorsement for purchasing this outrageously priced vehicle - particularly if you are planning on using it to protect yourself and your family from bands of feral nigras and roving zombie Antifa gangs in modern dystopian urban cities run by Democrats.
Just ask yourself if Jesus would ever buy a Land Rover.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-06-2020, 07:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan
From the picture it looks like those rear suspension arms are pretty low to the ground - hardly enough to avoid damage when hitting the average urban pot hole. Then it looks like an exposed gas tank on the upper right - reminiscent of the fiery deaths in the old Ford Pinto.
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Would that explain the pool of liquid underneath the vehicle, despite the fact that the photo appears to have been taken indoors?
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan
Just ask yourself if Jesus would ever buy a Land Rover.
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Oh, thank you for the laugh, Brother!
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-06-2020, 08:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan
From the picture it looks like those rear suspension arms are pretty low to the ground - hardly enough to avoid damage when hitting the average urban pot hole.
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That doesn't seem helpful for driving off road in some shithole country, either.
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-08-2020, 01:25 AM
I’m not sure what’s going on as I’ve never felt a towbar in my hand. I don’t think I’ve ever had a towbar anywhere near my body in fact so I’m not sure I could perform the firm grasp needed to adjust and rotate it. My Pa sure seemed to be a pro at it though so I’m sure he’s had to hold onto several curved towbars back in his hay day.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-08-2020, 12:39 PM
I find this discussion extremely troubling.
Land Rover is not an American car. That should be enough justification not to ever purchase it, nor have any interest in its tow bars that look like tallywhackers. Land Rover is since the early 2000's an Indian car. Previously, it was based in England, a shithole country that is owned by the false Christian Church of England and by their Queen whose spouse pretends to be a living god. He is not.
The aforementioned "living god" uses Land Rovers to kill innocent people.
God has warned us about using foreign products. This does not include U.S. products even if they are foreign in foreign countries because Jesus meant the other countries when He spoke about "foreign" stuff. Foreigners should not partake in anything that is innocent and Holy and everything that concerns True Christians™ falls into that category.
Exodus 12:45
A foreigner and an hired servant shall not eat thereof.
Land Rovers are sodomistic tools to infiltrate our pristine prairies. Initiating a discussion about them is highly suspicious and requires powerful prayers and exorcisms as a T rue Christian™ defense strategy. Q. E. D. Habeas corpus etc.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-09-2020, 09:30 PM
Oh dear. I simply had no idea. As a female, I’m ignorant about cars and trust the men I am around to work on them. What should someone do if they have a neighbor who drives the aforementioned vehicle Brother White?
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-09-2020, 09:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
Oh dear. I simply had no idea. As a female, I’m ignorant about cars and trust the men I am around to work on them.
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I confess I remain puzzled as to why you even raised this supremely dull and irrelevant question, Maxine - if indeed it was a question?
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-10-2020, 01:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
I confess I remain puzzled as to why you even raised this supremely dull and irrelevant question, Maxine - if indeed it was a question?
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I’m afraid only God knows the answer to that question as I don’t even remember. I’m much too busy looking up pie recipes to remember. I was just impressed with how quickly my smart Pa pulled out the tow bar to make it longer. I want to say he looks like a pro when he does that sort of stuff. It’s a new part of what I hope to find in a future husband.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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An old soul
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-11-2020, 03:55 PM
Quick question - does anyone know how to remove hair and bone that's stuck behind the front bumper? And rear. You can't see it but it's starting to smell like burritos.
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-12-2020, 12:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole
Quick question - does anyone know how to remove hair and bone that's stuck behind the front bumper? And rear. You can't see it but it's starting to smell like burritos.
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I’m afraid you might have to buy a new car. If you have Messicant stuck in there, it’s a pain to get out. Go over to Texas and you’ll have a Messicant offer to sell you macaroni art. You say no, but they still stand there and try to sell you a handmade soap dish fashioned like a penguin. You say no thank you go away, and what do they do? They try to sell you a wooden turtle.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-16-2020, 05:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
I’m afraid you might have to buy a new car. If you have Messicant stuck in there, it’s a pain to get out. Go over to Texas and you’ll have a Mexican offer to sell you macaroni art. You say no, but they still stand there and try to sell you a handmade soap dish fashioned like a penguin. You say no thank you go away, and what do they do? They try to sell you a wooden turtle.
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Trying to make money on what they have.
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-16-2020, 11:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vengeance Puriel
Trying to make money on what they have.
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There's a reason why that's "what they have" — Christians have something else.
Psalm 1:1-4
1a Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,
1b Nor standeth in the way of sinners,
1c Nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
20 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
3a And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season;
3b His leaf also shall not wither;
3c And whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
40 The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-26-2020, 10:04 AM
English cars are pretty decent... but the Englishmen need to stop putting the steering wheel on the wrong side! Or wait... if they always put it on the RIGHT side, then it can't be wrong, since the driver should always be RIGHT.
If we are honest, then we have no choice but to thank Deutschland for having cars...
And no, I would never own a Land Rover. British products are known to be of bad quality.
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-26-2020, 01:57 PM
If you want an off road vehicle you need to buy Ford or Jeep. Alternatively just use a jap hire car.
Phil
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-26-2020, 06:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Ander
If you want an off road vehicle you need to buy Ford or Jeep. Alternatively just use a jap hire car.
Phil
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The Japanese Jeeps are less bad than the British ones, but pretty mediocre and forgettable. I wonder if I could care less about Japan. But here is the best Jeep. Good old Adolf would love it.
[DISGUSTING AND UNGODLY IMAGE REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 01-26-2020 at 07:17 PM.
Reason: Let's keep it clean for Jesus!
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Unsaved trash aka The Flood of Disinformation
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Posts: 267
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Location: Omaha, Nebraska
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Re: How to adjust the tow bar in your 2020 Land Rover Defender Model -
01-26-2020, 06:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JakubDovac
The Japanese Jeeps are less bad than the British ones, but pretty mediocre and forgettable. I wonder if I could care less about Japan. But here is the best Jeep. Good old Adolf would love it.
[DISGUSTING AND UNGODLY IMAGE REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
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Adolf Hitler was not a Christian, he was a Roman Catholic, so his opinion is irrelevant.
And is that really what you call a car? Oh my.
Ecclesiastes 5:3b "A fool's voice is known by multitude of words."
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