Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
04-30-2011, 02:59 AM
Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
God created fingers and cocumbers to test womans and their faith in Jesus Christ. Can they controll demselfes or are they too weak?
Well, more and more atheist living on flat planet earth, and the more they get, the more God gets angry. Now the time has come that mens have to show their faith in God. It is called Fleshlights, its a product made by atheists for atheists? No!
It is made by atheists to convert Christians and send them to HELL. Of course Satan is behind all this but, lets go straight to the facts.
This is the first one, the name of that demonic product is " Flesh Light Lady." It looks like a genetic experiment by evolutionists, but it is a masturbation machine. This Fleshlight is the Mother of all Evil, the Hybrid.
Soon after its release masses of innocent men and children were addicted to it...
The evolutionists recognised the potential of this demonic little thing, and evolved it further.
Jenna Haze aka Jennifer Corrales born in Fullerton, California.. walked at the 19.june 2006 into an atheist science scenter. She got a phone call by one of her "friends." Once she was in the building, they told her that they need her "private parts" to create something evil and perverse the world had never seen before. Af course jenna haze, famous for practising gay sex... was immediately impressed. In a dark room she opened her legs and scientists reproduced her cooter. A new Fleshlight was born. Some people say since that moment Jenna had an evil glow in her eyes. And that was the day when another battle started in the war atheists agains people with a personal relationship to their saviour Jesus Christ. Again millions of men, woman and children sold their soul to an little demonic product, for nothing more then a short fun with an sluttly pornstar.
Of course the atheists were not satisfied. They wanted more and more, its in their nature.
So they brought up another idea. " Why not producing something for Gays?" one of them said.
They watched at the wall where Jesus Christ was hanging, died at the cross killed in cold blood, and the atheists started to laught histericaly about their new plan.
What you see here, is the anus of a male 33 years old from denmark. I want to puke...
Well, every normal human beeing would now say, it can't get worser.
But the world of atheism is evil, more evil then you thought.
2009 a movie called Avatar was brought into our cinemas. A totally dumb movie, nothing special just some gaywood idiotic crap. But there was an atheist sitting in one of the many movie theatres. He was one of the atheists who produced the first fleshlights. And while hundrets of innocent children were facinated about the blue lovely aliens, the atheist had just one thought:
How can i imitade the private parts of that alien..?
The Bible is very clear on that. You will go to Hell for killing your seed, God's seed.
There is no excuse. Keep that in mind when you have the cooter or the mouth of Jenna Haze in your hands. For that little fun you will land in Hell for all eternity. In Hell you will be the Fleshlight for Satan. Keep that in mind.
Hebrews 13:4
4Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
1 Corinthians 6:18
18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Matthew 5:28
28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
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Posts: 59
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
04-30-2011, 04:14 AM
I received one of these via UPS with a snarky note enclosed that read, "Get you some, Rev." Included were illustrated instructions on how to use this satanic device, and I was beyond shocked that it's legal to produce these things! If anything, people should be reduced to shoddy black-market masturbation machines, not have them readily available at your local mom-n-pops!
I've used this filthy "gift" as a demonstration to my youth group about how the Darwinists are attempting to reduce us to animals by encouraging this behavior. Even amidst the snickers I get when describing this Fleshlight, I think I've succeeded in keeping them on the straight and narrow. We've come up with our own twist on the purity rings with the anti-wank pledge gloves:
Member of Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 (NOT the Heretical Council of 1912!)
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
04-30-2011, 08:00 AM
Amazing how those Atheists get more evil every day! What horror will they think up next? A Fleshlight of a black woman?
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Unsaved trash, race-mixing nigra
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
04-30-2011, 08:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Amazing how those Atheists get more evil every day! What horror will they think up next? A Fleshlight of a black woman?
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What would be wrong about that?
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
04-30-2011, 08:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Amazing how those Atheists get more evil every day! What horror will they think up next? A Fleshlight of a black woman?
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Or a black man?
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
04-30-2011, 09:03 AM
Do you think that they are set at different costs depending on the worth of the 'model'?
Because of the curse of Ham the Bible looks on the races differently,
Genesis 9
And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
22And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
26And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant
God put was happy to put different monetary values on people depending on their sex or age,
Leviticus 27
1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
2Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When a man shall make a singular vow, the persons shall be for the LORD by thy estimation.
3And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary.
4And if it be a female, then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels.
5And if it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels.
6And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver.
7And if it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels.
Based on the scripture above a young man is worth five times an old woman, that is before you even consider the effect of being a different race.
Does this reflect on the cost that atheists have to pay for their fleshlights?
The cheap basic model would be a black old woman and the expensive 'super deluxe' would be a young white man? I am not prepared to google these disgusting contraptions to find the answer so I don't know.
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
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Posts: 15,223
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
04-30-2011, 11:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfred King
What would be wrong about that?
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The smell, I suppose.
I walked by a negress at the supermarket yesterday and she smelled like rotten cabbage crossed with someone who works in a fishmarket.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
04-30-2011, 09:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
The smell, I suppose.
I walked by a negress at the supermarket yesterday and she smelled like rotten cabbage crossed with someone who works in a fishmarket.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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And I suppose that you could use it as a shelter in a time of emergency. I've been told that they're big enough for the average man to just walk right in.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-01-2011, 12:05 AM
Terrible, jus terrible. Just lookin at them thangs makes me shudder.... with revulsion. Yeah. Uh, THE SCIENTISTS ARE IN BED WITH SATAN! IT"S A PLOT TO DRY OUT OUR GONADS AND MAKE US WASTE OUR UNBORN CHILDSPERMS ON RUBBER TUBES! THEN THE HUMAN RACE WILL DIE OUT AND DISRUPT THE UNERRING BIBLICAL PROPHECY WHICH IS THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD! SATAN'S LAUGHIN AND DANCIN AS THE ATHEISTS SLAVE AWAY IN UNDERGROUND LABROTORIES CREATIN NEW WAYS TO STEAL OUR SPUNK! TIS A SIGN O THE END TIMES AS WELL!
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Recovering Bastard Head of Landover Glee Club
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Location: Opening doors for little old ladies, helping the blind to see.
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-01-2011, 07:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Amazing how those Atheists get more evil every day! What horror will they think up next? A Fleshlight of a black woman?
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They wouldn't make any money on that; you can get a real black woman off of any inner city street corner for less than half of the cost of a Fleshlight!
The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-02-2011, 12:42 AM
I found one of these in the kids room. It does not light up at all nor could I figure out where the bulb goes. Seems pretty useless to me. Just eats batteries. A four pack every day by my count.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-02-2011, 01:09 PM
The only fleshlight I need is the bible!
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-02-2011, 06:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natas Christ
The only fleshlight I need is the bible!
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I don't know bout that. It seems disrespectful, not to mention impractical. Don't the pages stick together?
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-02-2011, 07:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Amazing how those Atheists get more evil every day! What horror will they think up next? A Fleshlight of a black woman?
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Ugh! So much for my lunch...
I have a sneaking suspicion that they are developing sideways technology to produce an asian model, wilderbeast hair embedding for the a-rab model and even a very clean, trimmed, tight conservative republican models with intact hymen just so that the sinners can enjoy the satisfaction of deflowering a godly woman. This deeply disturbs me.
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-02-2011, 08:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
Ugh! So much for my lunch...
I have a sneaking suspicion that they are developing sideways technology to produce an asian model, wilderbeast hair embedding for the a-rab model and even a very clean, trimmed, tight conservative republican models with intact hymen just so that the sinners can enjoy the satisfaction of deflowering a godly woman. This deeply disturbs me.
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I believe they are going to do one for the English market. To make it authentic it will be very loose and can be bought for the cost of a double vodka and bag of chips.
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-27-2011, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Q
I've used this filthy "gift" as a demonstration to my youth group about how the Darwinists are attempting to reduce us to animals by encouraging this behavior.
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my youth group leader showed 1 to us too. some of the dudes got lumps but ididnt like it but didnt say anything cuz maybe they'd think it was just cuz there lumps were bigger
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-27-2011, 11:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikey1995
my youth group leader showed 1 to us too. some of the dudes got lumps but ididnt like it but didnt say anything cuz maybe they'd think it was just cuz there lumps were bigger
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Why don't you pray to Jesus that he makes your lump bigger?
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-27-2011, 11:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
Why don't you pray to Jesus that he makes your lump bigger?
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i do every night but i guess the lord is waiting to make it happen
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-27-2011, 11:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikey1995
my youth group leader showed 1 to us too. some of the dudes got lumps but ididnt like it but didnt say anything cuz maybe they'd think it was just cuz there lumps were bigger
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This is God's church, young man. Not a smut shop. Kindly dispense with the locker room talk.
And rather than bee-bopping all over our forum spouting nonsensical twaddle that no one is interested in, please introduce yourself here. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
05-27-2011, 11:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
This is God's church, young man. Not a smut shop. Kindly dispense with the locker room talk.
And rather than bee-bopping all over our forum spouting nonsensical twaddle that no one is interested in, please introduce yourself here. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
In Christ
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i will go there but my mom says its lights out soon but maybe in the morning
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