The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
09-25-2022, 03:06 PM
I get so many questions about LBC as I go about Freehold every day. While we are a Christian community, I can assure that tucked in among our Jesus-loving citizens are some skeptics.
When I stopped by the Senior Center for coffee yesterday one of the skeptics, an older woman, raced over to challenge me with her newest bogus argument that the Bible is not the True Word of God. It was, "If there really was a Noah's Ark, with animals of every kind on board, why didn't the beavers gnaw through the wall of the ark and make it sink?"
She did not know I have been asked that question before and consulted our pastors. I told her, "Noah pulled some teeth before the beaver pair went on board." Seeing the defeated look on her face made my day.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,233
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
09-25-2022, 03:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
She did not know I have been asked that question before and consulted our pastors. I told her, "Noah pulled some teeth before the beaver pair went on board." Seeing the defeated look on her face made my day.
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Good one, Mr. Mayor! You should warn her joke that someone might pull her teeth out if she asks any more silly questions.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
09-26-2022, 04:02 AM
Excellent Biblical exegesis Mayor Hold. I often find that atheist try to challenge our faith by attacking the idea that there were really two of every animal. They simply can't accept that one ark contained a pair of pandas/unicorns/Australian Aborigines/giraffes/polar bears/llamas/velociraptors and so on. I even had one Darwinist ask me where Noah fit the humpback whales - fish didn't need to get on the ark dumbass.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,765
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
09-26-2022, 05:51 AM
I always wondered why the dragons didn't burn the Ark. Apparently Noah fed them a lot of Alka Seltzer.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 672
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
09-26-2022, 08:15 AM
I always thought that Noah kept the beavers and unicorns above the waterline. I didn't realize that the beavers had a dedentition process. It should have been obvious to me that this was the case as a workplace safety issue on The Ark. Were the 2 unicorns dehorned to prevent inadvertent damage and punctures to the sides of The Ark when they swished their heads? Or were the unicorns thrown overboard to prevent more damage to The Ark? Maybe that's why there is a severe lack of unicorns these days, compared to all the other animals on The Ark. There's still plenty of beavers, depending on where you look.
Phil
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
09-26-2022, 02:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Ander
I always thought that Noah kept the beavers and unicorns above the waterline. I didn't realize that the beavers had a dedentition process. It should have been obvious to me that this was the case as a workplace safety issue on The Ark.
Phil
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I think you are right, Brother Phil, in that Noah would have planned carefully and would have considered putting destructive animals above the water line. But when he considered holes in the side during rain 24/7 for over a month, he would have decided against it.
The unicorns remain a mystery. Perhaps they were eaten by Noah and his family or fed to the lions. They would have presented a safety problem for sure.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
09-26-2022, 09:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
I get so many questions about LBC as I go about Freehold every day. While we are a Christian community, I can assure that tucked in among our Jesus-loving citizens are some skeptics.
When I stopped by the Senior Center for coffee yesterday one of the skeptics, an older woman, raced over to challenge me with her newest bogus argument that the Bible is not the True Word of God. It was, "If there really was a Noah's Ark, with animals of every kind on board, why didn't the beavers gnaw through the wall of the ark and make it sink?"
She did not know I have been asked that question before and consulted our pastors. I told her, "Noah pulled some teeth before the beaver pair went on board." Seeing the defeated look on her face made my day.
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While I'll never question the inerrant Word of God as transcribed in the Holy Bible (fools folly) I have to wonder why the obviously senile old bat was not dealt with for making such inflammatory comments,
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,765
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
09-26-2022, 11:24 PM
I never liked beavers. They're hairy and smelly and wet and full of diseases. Disgusting!
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
08-28-2023, 03:50 AM
This is a reminder that even though summer is winding down, there is still time for a drive to see Noah's Ark in Kentucky. Seeing the Ark reminds us of both God's mercy in saving Noah and his family but also God's wrath at drowning a couple of million sinners.
I want to mention to people planning a trip to the Ark Encounter they should disregard negative reviews. So many people, even Christians, complain about all the items for sale in and around the Ark. Visitors do not have to buy these souvenirs, even though taking something home will remind one of God's message to Noah and His message to sinners.
Overpriced Christian Tourist Trap - Review of Ark Encounter, Williamstown, KY - Tripadvisor
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
08-28-2023, 11:37 AM
Of course, Noah pulled the beavers' teeth. He was a True Christian™ who didn't care about woke animal rights!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 672
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
08-28-2023, 01:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bjorn Jensen
Of course, Noah pulled the beavers' teeth. He was a True Christian™ who didn't care about woke animal rights!
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He was a great ship builder, and a righteous man, and entrusted by God to preserve the human race, and animals, birds and bugs. The fish could look after themselves. And the fish did pretty well, so it seems.
Then Noah ended up a cheap drunk, lying naked in a tent. Maybe the pressure got to him.
I'm reluctant to regard him as a True Christian™, mainly because there are some problems with the timeline between the death of Noah (at 950 years old!), and the Birth Of Christ sometime later.
However, if Noah could remove teeth from a beaver, then he had some admirable dental skills, and that is what he should be remembered for, and not his fondness for the grape.
Phil
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
08-28-2023, 04:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
URL="https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g39995-d10110346-r518165933-Ark_Encounter-Williamstown_Kentucky.html"]Overpriced Christian Tourist Trap - Review of Ark Encounter, Williamstown, KY - Tripadvisor[/URL]
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IT SAYS:
Quote:
the place has several stores to sell food
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Now they want free food? I didn't know whether to laugh or bang my head. Firstly, this disingenuous correspondent drove there from New York. Now imagine if there was nowhere to buy food? There'd be no end of complaining about lack of this, disregard for that and "discomfort after hours on the road" the other. So they do have a food stall. (And snacks.) Every consideration shown but if the cost of a meal was added to the ticket price and someone didn't eat one.
and on and on it would be never ending. Education is so important but maniacs have taken over and the most important thing taught, other than to mock the history recorded by God, is to complain.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark -
08-28-2023, 04:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
IT SAYS:Now they want free food? I didn't know whether to laugh or bang my head. Firstly, this disingenuous correspondent drove there from New York. Now imagine if there was nowhere to buy food?
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Great point, Sister. Just outside the Ark is the Ark's restaurant. Parents with two teenagers and eat there for next to nothing, probably $70 with a modest tip.
Family Dining | Ark Encounter
Then, if they bought the cheapest tickets into the Ark it would be only another $180. They would have arrived close to God for only $250. It would be wise for them to buy the extra features for only $100 more. If two families from Iowa shared a car and motel room the entire trip would hardly touch their budgets.
Ark Encounter Tickets | Ark Encounter
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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