From the archives, some old chatroom discussions.
What heaven is like, outing psudo-libertarians, and Christian pron:
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: True Christians™ spend eternity sitting on fleecy clouds and dining on milk and honey. And BBQ.
RaptuAIRe: AMEN!
Matt: Will they have potato salad?
sister_rebecca: Mmmmmmmmmm that sounds good, but I can have that here
sister_rebecca: I want Heaven to be something more like...
Matt: RIBS!!!!!!
sister_rebecca: steak and french fries
Matt: Oh my
RaptuAIRe: GLORY! I'm glad I'll be EATING the BBQ instead of BEING the BBQ! THANK YOU JESUS!
Jeb_Thurmond: Heaven must be like a huge BBQ, if the book of Leviticus is accurate (which it is.) It must smell like a huge cattle feedlot that just got napalmed, only even better.
Matt: I'm getting hungry
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: I have to go tell one of the servants to get breakfast on the table.
RaptuAIRe: yes, I mean, since its not required (in most cases)
sister_rebecca: Is it the chineee lady?
Matt: Use your bell pastor
bamagirl: so how come you think heaven is a place to feast?
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, I haven't met you, I think. You really from Alabama?
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Ching Lee is SUPPOSED to handle that but she sneaked away somewhere.
bamagirl: I thought it was supposed to be paved with gold and a sexual paradise
Wash_O--39-Hanley: you can't trust asians
Sister_Tinny: SEXUAL paradise?!
Sister_Tinny: sex is dirty and wrong!
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: There is no FORNICATION in heaven!
Sister_Tinny: there will be no sexual desire in heaven
bamagirl: Of course there is.
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, read the book of Revations again!
Matt: someone rebuke that sinner!
Sister_Tinny: no need to reproduce
Sister_Tinny: therefore no sex
RaptuAIRe: *since abortion is not required (in many cases) then we should
at least try to have it banned for the most part, like PResident Bush wants! Like James Dobson, we can help these miscreants for a minor love offering
RaptuAIRe: BAMAGIRL
RaptuAIRe: JESUS hates SEX
bamagirl: don;t you people look at art? Most artists render heaven as a place with naked men and women commiting all sorts of perverted acts on each other
RaptuAIRe: Do you think JESUS had SEX???????
RaptuAIRe: Artists are HOMERS
bamagirl: according to the "DaVinci Code", yes
RaptuAIRe: all they can think about is fornication!
Sister_Tinny: oh, my lord...
bamagirl: Mary Magdeline
Matt: HAHAHA
RaptuAIRe: *GASP*
Matt: DaVinci was a homer
RaptuAIRe: Fornication is only for procreation so that we can multiply and subdue the earth
Jeb_Thurmond: Abortion is only permissible if the husband accuses the woman of cheating, and the abortion must be performed by a Christian
pastor. It's written in Exodus. All other abortion is murder.
Matt: It's ok as long as all the lights are out and you're just trying to reproduce.
RaptuAIRe: PRAISE THE LORD, Brother Jeb!!!!!!!!!
Sister_Tinny: does the woman actually have to have cheated?
sister_rebecca: I am getting sick to my stomach listening to this garbage about our dear Jesus!
Sister_Tinny: or does the husband just have to accuse her?
sister_rebecca: Rap, enemies can bash the pregnant women on rocks to kill the unborn.
Matt: If the husband accuses her then it's probably true
Jeb_Thurmond: I'm thinking we need a way to bring more unsaved heathens to this forum so we can witness to them. How about a post in which we provide illustrations for the Song of Solomon?
Sister_Tinny: (though there's no reason why a Godly husband would lie)
RaptuAIRe: Although, I think abortions are permissable when invading Mudslimoidian places, like PAlestine and Iran aren't they?
Sister_Tinny: certainly RaptuAIRe, since you'll be killing them all anyway
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Friends, we cannot condone abortion. What the Bible tells us is that the child doesn't count for the first 30 days after it is born and can be drowned or whatever until it is a month old.
Prayerforever: PRAISE! and hit that PayPal button!
Sister_Tinny: but that IS abortion, Pastor
Matt: Those sand monkeys shouldn't be allowed to breed
Sister_Tinny: at least the way the Democrats would have it
RaptuAIRe: but, Pastor Al, you would agree it'd be better to put the child into the care of LBC Homes for Children, right?
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: As long as they aren't retards, sure.
Jeb_Thurmond: The point is that we are NOT pro-choice. We are pro-GOD'S CHOICE.
RaptuAIRe: well, I understand we have a special retard facility
Matt: We ARE still talking about little white babies right?
Sister_Tinny: yes.
RaptuAIRe: somewhere else
RaptuAIRe: obviously, Matt
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Yes, Jesus needs warriors to kill the mudslums
Sister_Tinny: but it's ABORTION if the child is killed between conception and birth
BibleThumpinBlonde: Tator gives me enough trouble. Last thing I want in my house is another back talking rum stealing brat
RaptuAIRe: I think the plan is to allow mulattos to be raised as servants since they are unadoptable
Sister_Tinny: infanticide is no problem
Matt: Rap, they can practice serving over at the tard facility
sister_rebecca: Jeb, we already have at least ONE heathen here.
Sister_Tinny: (I'm not pregnant)
RaptuAIRe: Matt: NO! We aren't allowed to touch something that has touched a retard!
RaptuAIRe: *AGASP*
sister_rebecca: I haven't seen her say anything though. Maybe God is bugging her computer
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, judging by your behavior I fear you might be a succubus. Our good friends have written a page about them here:
http://www.jesus-is-lord.com/incubus.htm
RaptuAIRe: I don't want to go to Hell for slapping my negroidian servant across the face because he had touched a retard!
Sister_Tinny: so when you know it's a retard, abortion is justified?
Sister_Tinny: that's what Democrats say!
Matt: Good point brother Rap
RaptuAIRe: no, but we have a special place
RaptuAIRe: where retards are sent
Jeb_Thurmond: Only if the retard is called a bastard by the husband.
Sister_Tinny: a special Retard facility for Retards?
RaptuAIRe: I think there's something about it on the main page
Sister_Tinny: i'm so confused.
bamagirl: they are called "disabled". Not retards.
Sister_Tinny: there needs to be an abortion post
bamagirl: I am more of a siren, Jeb.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Friends, friends! Please! Why all this talk about
retards? Let us think of ways to kill mudslums.
Sister_Tinny: that explains the democrats' position and ours
Jeb_Thurmond: The Biblical term is not "disabled" but "blemished" as in "no one with a blemish may approach the altar"
sister_rebecca: Here here Pastor!
Matt: disabled.... retard... tard... slow
RaptuAIRe: aren't mudslimes retards?
Matt: same thing
Sister_Tinny: yes, in the eyes of God
Sister_Tinny: and in the eyes of history
RaptuAIRe: that's what I thought
Sister_Tinny: they are still riding donkeys and camels
sister_rebecca: You know, if we blow up all of the printing places, there would be no one left to print that horrible book of theirs.
RaptuAIRe: i mean, they worship a black box
sister_rebecca: Then we can just find them and tear them up.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Mudslimes are semi-darkies so they are automatically retards.
RaptuAIRe: true
RaptuAIRe: sand kneegrows
sister_rebecca: After all, we have enough KJV's in the basement
Sister_Tinny: I'm going to India next year to evangelize the masses. How much should I charge for Bibles?
sister_rebecca: we can go around ripping that q'ran thingy up and handing out the Good Book.
sister_rebecca: I think your color is just you.
sister_rebecca: It lets you know what you say LOL
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: India! What horrors await you!
bamagirl: yeah, mine is blue
Jeb_Thurmond: By the way, here is the biblical scripture in which Moses tells his pastors to preform abortions:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?searc...205;&version=31
Sister_Tinny: no kidding. I'll bring a few guns just in case
bamagirl: you CHARGE for bibles?
bamagirl: I thought you wanted to spread the word, not sell it
Sister_Tinny: If we don't charge for Bibles, then the natives will use it as firewood
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Our bibles are CERTIFIED to prevent sin. Of course we charge for them.
Sister_Tinny: we have to cover our costs too!
Matt: Let make a pile and have them blessed by some holy flames.
sister_rebecca: Maybe about $50. That would cover the cost of getting
them there and you can give them a free rock with every purchase.
sister_rebecca: the rock can be used to stone sinners of course
Sister_Tinny: good idea
Sister_Tinny: maybe i can charge on a per-book basis, too
RaptuAIRe: give LBC approved Bibles away? *GASP*
bamagirl: a free rock? In india?
BibleThumpinBlonde: If I were preaching to the Indians it would be hard for me to refrain from picking at the dots on their foreheads
RaptuAIRe: JESUS weeps at the idea!
bamagirl: that is crazy
Matt: Add in a stick of underarm deodorant for those dotheads. PeeeeYeeeww
bamagirl: well those people, the Gideons give away bibles all the time
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: My bible is gold-leafed and covered in baby sealskin. It cost the flock over $5,000. But it is one of my necessities, like this house, the limo and the jet.
Sister_Tinny: the good thing about India is that many of them speak God's language already.
Sister_Tinny: (though they've allowed some satanic vocabulary to seep in)
bamagirl: a jet? that is one I hadn't heard before
Sister_Tinny: what about the holycopter, pastor?
Sister_Tinny: who pays for that?
sister_rebecca: That was a gift I think
Matt: Pastors have needs
sister_rebecca: From one of the platinum tithers.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Landover has a fleet of five Grumman Gulfstrean Fives. I am allowed the exclusive use of one of them.
bamagirl: what are those?
Sister_Tinny: bama...would you be impressed if one of your evilution professors started prattling his nonsense wearing only tattered rags?
Matt: No Sabreliner?
Sister_Tinny: no. we need to evangelize in style
<BibleThumpinBlonde> sent sound: screech
Sister_Tinny: So people will be impressed by the wealth Jesus provides.
bamagirl: I would not be impressed. I would be sympathetic and give him some clothes
Prayerforever:
RaptuAIRe: I believe I saw where LBC was ordering a fleet of HolyCopters for all the pastoral staff?
Sister_Tinny: You are a fool.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Sabreliners are for evangelists. We are REAL Christians!
BibleThumpinBlonde: PRAISE!
RaptuAIRe: because we had to special order the guns
RaptuAIRe: they wanted
Sister_Tinny: Anyway, I must go. I have a prayer meeting.
bamagirl: no, you are the fool. believing in a mythical creature. Why not believe in unicorns or Yetis while you are at it?
Sister_Tinny: Take care fellow Christians™
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Aloha Tinny
Sister_Tinny: bama...because the Bible says so. End of discussion.
RaptuAIRe: its hard to silence those big guns....only the US Military can do i
RaptuAIRe: t
RaptuAIRe: by Sister Tinny! GLORY!
Jeb_Thurmond: UNICORNS ARE IN THE BIBLE!
RaptuAIRe: GOD SAID IT, I BELIEVE IT, THAT SETTLE'S IT! GLORY!
RaptuAIRe: *SETTLES
bamagirl: where is that Jeb?
Sister_Tinny has left.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Listen to me Bama! You are sliding headfirst into SATAN'S huge, barbed tallywhacker!
Matt: WOW
Matt:
http://www.peterpopoff.org/
bamagirl: ~~once again, I have yet to see where your great and wonderful book mentions getting raped by a barbed thingy
Matt: Free miracle spring water!!!!!!!
Jeb_Thurmond: Sometimes found with two horns (Deuteronomy 33:17)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph (Deuteronomy 33:17)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph . (Horns of,) of the strength of powerful enemies (Psalms 22:21)
The young of, remarkable for agility (Psalms 29:6)
Generally had a single horn (Psalms 92:10)
Of the wicked . (Horns of,) of the strength of the descendants of Joseph . (Horns of,) of the strength of powerful enemies . (The position of its horns,) of the exaltation of saints (Psalms 92:10)
DESCRIBED AS » Intractable in disposition (Job 39:9,10,12)
DESCRIBED AS » Of vast strength (Job 39:11)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of God as the strength of Israel (Numbers 23:22;24:8)
ILLUSTRATIVE » Of the wicked (Isaiah 34:7)
Jeb_Thurmond: ^^^^^ From BIblegateway's topical index
Matt: My devine transfer is on it's way
Jeb_Thurmond: Sorry to spam, but I get very angry when others claim to know more about the Bible than us!
bamagirl: horns are also those things used to make the "charge" call when in battle
Matt: PRAISE JESUS Jeb
BibleThumpinBlonde: Horns are also what Satan and his minions will be poking you with
BibleThumpinBlonde: for ALL ETERNITY!
sister_rebecca: Matt, just that man's NAME sends me into mouth-frothing, epileptic seizures of disgust.
Matt: BTB... did you get your miracle spring water yet?
BibleThumpinBlonde: DId you send me some?
Matt:
http://www.peterpopoff.org/
BibleThumpinBlonde: how thoughtful of you
bamagirl: ok fine. Then I guess I will just be having lots of satanic sex and be gored with horns all the time for all eternity
Matt: put you speakers on and listen to that colored lady's testimonial
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, please read the Bible, or at least trust that we have! Please tell me that at least you're a republican!
BibleThumpinBlonde: He has lovely music when his home page opens. He
looks like Satan
sister_rebecca: ummm no thanks
BibleThumpinBlonde: Bammy Hell is no laughing matter
sister_rebecca: That name makes me want to vomit.
Matt: He's a kraut
bamagirl: I am a libertarian.
sister_rebecca: Peter pops off
sister_rebecca: *shiver*
sister_rebecca: Revolting.
BibleThumpinBlonde: I bet he does pop off. He looks like a homer
sister_rebecca: Libertarians will all burn in Hell.
sister_rebecca: Republicans are God's own party.
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, that only gives you half-points.
bamagirl: Most people in this country are libertarians and just don't know it.
Matt: We should start bottling up some of the water that flows through our church parking lot.
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, at least you agree with us that people were better off during the 1890's
sister_rebecca: No, that water is tainted. We should bottle the sewage though.
bamagirl: Wasn't that after slavery?
bamagirl: I thought you were all wanting to re-instate that.
Matt: Peter Hilter there seems to be selling a lot of that stuff.
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, learn some history! Of course it was!
bamagirl: well then why was it so much better? Hmmm? Thought you WANTED slavery.
bamagirl: then by saying that you would think that the early 1800's were better
Jeb_Thurmond: No, we just want negros to work under the same conditions our mexicans workers do.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: The Bible specifies that slavery is fine with God.
Matt: We could say a certain portian of the proceeds go to the little homeless children in Ethopia.
Jeb_Thurmond: Illegal immigrants have the ideal labor conditions and wages. Darkies are being spoiled by socialism.
sister_rebecca: Well, we have missionaries there don't we Pastor? It WOULD be going to Ethiopia.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: We are testing some new drugs in Ethiopia and Somalia. Aids drugs, and some other contageous stuff.
sister_rebecca: I say we round up the illegals and make them the slaves of the 21st century.
bamagirl: I wondered why the aids epidemic was so rampant over there.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: We have some.....er.....medical people there, yes.
bamagirl: now I know
Jeb_Thurmond: Anyway, any libertarian can agree that States Rights and property rights were violently overthrown by Lincolns omnipotent state and therefore the blacks still belong to their white owners
bamagirl: I should report you to the CDC
RaptuAIRe: Medical Missionaries!
RaptuAIRe: GLORY!
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: You should pray that we don't make you a test case.
bamagirl: those black people and those owners have long been dead
RaptuAIRe: We should report you to the Department of Faith-Based Homeland Security
Jeb_Thurmond: Us whites losing our inherited slaves is just another form of the evil death-tax. This must be corrected!
Jeb_Thurmond: BAMAGIRL DO YOU SUPPORT THE DEATH-TAX?
RaptuAIRe: basically, since all GODLY white Southerners who had slaves can trace their lineage back
bamagirl: anyone here pro-fair-tax?
RaptuAIRe: we simply trace it back to 1865
Matt: You notice there's no bird flu in Ethopia. A bird doesn't stand a chance around those savages.
bamagirl: what is the death tax?
RaptuAIRe: then, we enslave all the darkies
RaptuAIRe: and divide them up equally amongst the descendants
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: All tax is fair tax. We are a church. We are tax-exempt.
Jeb_Thurmond: Inheritence tax! We inherited those black slaves, and the government stealing them from us is a form of inheritecne tax!
sister_rebecca: I have heard of the fair tax law. I think it is a waste of time.
RaptuAIRe: that's the only real reparations that need to be done
RaptuAIRe: My ancestors paid good money for those slaves
bamagirl: what is death tax jeb>?
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, is your father a millionaire?
Matt: Rap, didn't the government pay you for that?
bamagirl: as did mine, but I refuse to make an issue out of something that happened so far in the past it is laughable to bring it back up now
bamagirl: yes he is actually
Matt: fair is fair
bamagirl: well, my grandfather is
Jeb_Thurmond: If he is, the government will tax the money you wouldotherwise inherit! That's like expecting you to work for your own money, like someone Jesus hasn't blessed!
bamagirl: and? I can live with that
<Matt> sent sound: cow
bamagirl: after they get their cut the rest is mine to do with as I please
Jeb_Thurmond: YOu can live with taxes? You're no libertarian!
Matt: Jean's home
BibleThumpinBlonde: Jean?
BibleThumpinBlonde: LOL
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Lookit, it's still an issue. There hasn't been a government in Somalia for ten years. All the darkies get drugged up and drive around killing each other. They NEED to be.....guided...
bamagirl: yes I am. I believe government has a place.
bamagirl: guided to what?
sister_rebecca: AMEN PASTOR!
Jeb_Thurmond: Yes, but that's darkies in somolia. If whites where in Sololia the lack of government would have resulted in a paradise.
BibleThumpinBlonde: I think it's a blessing when nigs shoot other nigs
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Guided to a horsewhip and shown how to pick cotton.
Matt: guided to the business end of a 50 cal sniper rifle
sister_rebecca: We should round them all up, drop them off in Manhattan and let them kill each other off.
BibleThumpinBlonde: AMEN!
bamagirl: cotton? that is not even much of an industry here in the south any more.
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Somalia is a GREAT opportunity for someone. Just get the guns away from them and set 'em to work mining uranium.
Matt: BTB... in the resturant business when there's a shift change at Popeyes we call that "re-nig"
BibleThumpinBlonde: Shoot my nig help would barely pick the cotton out of an asprin bottle
RaptuAIRe: Friend, I used to live in the eastern part of NC, they still have lots of cotton there
RaptuAIRe: I had to fire all my kneegrows
bamagirl: I didn't say it wasn't here. it is just not BIG here.
RaptuAIRe: I have an entire staff of messycant's
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl are you libertarian on the issue of gun ownership?
BibleThumpinBlonde: LOL Brother Matt, I like that
bamagirl: it is far cheaper to get it elsewhere
bamagirl: I love guns
bamagirl: I have 3
RaptuAIRe: 3? is that all?
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: We all love guns. But onlt 3?
RaptuAIRe: I know 4 year olds with a larger collection than that
sister_rebecca: Brother Rap, if they are messycan'ts then you need some MessyCANS
Jeb_Thurmond: I believe every US citizen (read: CHRISTIAN) has the right to own nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons. We have a right to bear arms
sister_rebecca: LOL
BibleThumpinBlonde: AMEN!
sister_rebecca: Only 3? What kind of woman only has *3* guns?!
RaptuAIRe: I've already bought 2 dozen guns for my first born, whenever he is born
bamagirl: only!?!!! You all have MORE than that?
Jeb_Thurmond: Wimpy little guns can't stop the next hitler from taking away your rights. The omnipotendt state has nuclear-armed missles! Freedom-loving citizens need more firepower!
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle: Not so loud, Jeb. No one knows about the emichalcans.
bamagirl: 2 DOZEN!!
Matt: There's not really a challenge to shooting Somalians what with those big old heads and all. Kinda takes the fun outta it.
BibleThumpinBlonde: try shooting just a limb
Pastor_Al_E_Pistle has left.
RaptuAIRe: he has a 50 cal and a BEAUTIFUL vintage WWII German Waffen-SS rifle that was used by a concentration camp guard
RaptuAIRe: not even born yet!
BibleThumpinBlonde: GLORY!
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, can two-dozen peashooters stop a stealth-bomber loaded with nukes? This is the omnipotent state we're talking about! Only weaponized anthrax can protect your home and family
RaptuAIRe: my wife and I haven't even fornicated yet!
RaptuAIRe: I built a nuclear missile silo next to my house, just waiting for the OK to buy one!
Matt: There is no greater feeling in the world than looking through the scope of a 50 cal sniper rifle and KNOWING that everything within a mile radius lives only because you allow it to. PRAISE JESUS!!!!
bamagirl: this talk about weapons is giving me a headache
RaptuAIRe: GLORY Brother Matt!
Jeb_Thurmond: Matt, the omnipotent state has bomb shelters to protect the IRS and other sinners. You need real firepower!
bamagirl: are you saying you want to blow up the world
bamagirl: ?>
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, are you saying you want to blow up people's
heads because you like guns?
sister_rebecca: Only the non-believers
RaptuAIRe: When my son is 3 years old, I want him to feel how you can lightly tap the trigger on a German WWII MP40 and dispatch 10 vermin to hell!
Jeb_Thurmond: So why do you say we're genocideal just because we believe in a citizens right to weaponized anthrax?
bamagirl: my guns are my business. I use them to shoot targets, not people
bamagirl: it is a sport to me
Matt: Agreed Brother Jeb... I have looked into a decomissioned sub
bamagirl: not blood-thirsty stuff
RaptuAIRe: what I shoot with mine is a sport to me
bamagirl: shooting people is not sport. it is murder
bamagirl: they have jails for people like you
RaptuAIRe: only if they are people...
Jeb_Thurmond: Bio-weapon vials are a sport too. You can look at the germs through a microscope
Matt: those are YOUR laws, not ours
sister_rebecca: I am back. What did I miss?
RaptuAIRe: messycans, darkies, and goths aren't people
bamagirl: excuse me, matt, but even your precious bible says you have to obey the laws of the land
RaptuAIRe: and sand kneegrows
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, why do you hate our second amendment rights? Why do you want to allow hitler, stalin and pol pot to take over america? Why do you hate america? is it the freedom?
bamagirl: and the laws of the land say they ARE people and killing is punsihable by jail or death
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, I OBEY THE LAWS. I just want to change the laws, JUST LIKE YOUR LIBERTARIAN PARTY!
sister_rebecca: Do you really think they are PEOPLE?
Matt: bamaslut, add chapter and verse when you quote the Bible!
bamagirl: yes they ARE
bamagirl: ooooh name calling. is that the best you can do?
sister_rebecca: Matt, we don't tolerate words like that, even if it IS towards a heathen.
Matt: I meant to type "girl" but my fingers were directed elsewhere
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, I'm not calling you a gun-grabbing freedom-hater, I'm just saying that you're not much of a libertarian.
RaptuAIRe: she obviously isn't a libertarian
bamagirl: libertarians believe that government has a place in society, but not too much place.
bamagirl: I believe that
RaptuAIRe: the government should stay out of our personal lives (except to make sure that everyone lives up to Biblical standards, naturally)
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, even the democrats believe that! Be more specific!
RaptuAIRe: so I should be able to kill a sand kneegrow
RaptuAIRe: but shouldn't be allowed to ever fornicate
bamagirl: just becaise I don't believe bits and pieces of certain issues does not make me a non-libertarian
RaptuAIRe: (except for procreation)
sister_rebecca: *sigh* This is getting nowhere.
sister_rebecca: Please be spedific dear.
Matt: I heard in the news where libertarians want to marry each other now. Where is the sanctity of the Holy matrimony?
bamagirl: fine
Jeb_Thurmond: Bamagirl, what is the correct role of government? Enlighten us
bamagirl: I think people should not have to pay taxes on income and then turn around and pay it AGAIN when they buy stuff. I think taxes and government are necessary to keep peace and order, but I do not think they need to "govern" every little thing I do and say and think and feel.
bamagirl: I should be able to love, marry, worship, work, and play how I want.
RaptuAIRe: satanist
bamagirl: satanist believe in satan. if satan is of god, then by saying i am a satanist you are saying i believe in god, which I do not
Jeb_Thurmond: I used to own a hamburger joint before the omnipotent state shut me down for violating their excessive regulations. I provided a low-cost food product made with rancid meat, animal shelter leftovers, and once a body someone thought theu were donating to science. You agree that having my business shut down was a example of exessive government, yes?
bamagirl: no. it was shut down for the right reasons, but they should have kept their noses out of it. If people want to buy rancid low cost food, they should be able to
bamagirl: they take their lives in their own hands by doing so. i don't have to buy it. that is my choice
Jeb_Thurmond: Good. After all, a place that sells rancid meat would eventually run out of customers once they all die.
sister_rebecca: EEEeeeeeeeewww Jeb!
Jeb_Thurmond: And you also agree that truth in advertising and labelling laws are an assualt on free speach?
sister_rebecca: Animal shelter leftovers?
bamagirl: I am wishy-washy on that one. There is no REAL truth in advertising after all.
Jeb_Thurmond: Actually, the main ingredient was roadkill. Not that I advertised that, of course
bamagirl: If there was, this site would say "Beware, once you come in, you will be attacked and slaughtered"
sister_rebecca: Oh Jeb! I am going to go vomit now.
sister_rebecca: Thanks a lot!
<Matt> sent sound: wookie
Matt: Jean is hungry again
sister_rebecca: Didn't you bring some of your "specialties" to one potluck?
BibleThumpinBlonde: Jean?
Matt: Time for a feeding. Back in a bit.
RaptuAIRe: sounds like he owned a McDonalds?
Jeb_Thurmond: Geez, rebecca, It's not like I used every one of the illegal immigrants who died in the factory next door! I left out the ones that died of sickness rather than accidents
sister_rebecca:
Jeb_Thurmond: Anyway Bamagirl, let's talk abotu Somolia. I've been on safari there several times, and it fits the Libertarian party platform to a T. Have you ever visited your utopia?
sister_rebecca: I am still unclear on Matt. Is he feeding someone's backside?
bamagirl: Nope and neither have you.
bamagirl: But I have never been outside the U.S.
bamagirl: so I can't say that I know much about other countries
bamagirl: I have not been there. I take the media with a grain of salt
sister_rebecca: Ok, Landover's finest (and not so finest)
sister_rebecca: I must go. You have a wonderful blessed day now!
Jeb_Thurmond: Somolia and many third-world countries have hardly any government at all. That's why I like to visit them so often. You can just smell the freedom int he air. People work "the way they choose" as you put it.
bamagirl: bye sister
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Jeb_Thurmond: If you decide to join the church you can come with me on my next trip to Darfur.
bamagirl: Wait, I never said government didn't need to be there to instill order
Jeb_Thurmond: Oh, instilling order is what 3rd world government do best!
bamagirl: isn't that where so many thousands were killed?
bamagirl: order, not feart
bamagirl: fear*
Jeb_Thurmond: Ever seen how they deal with protests and strikes? BLAMBLAMBLAM!
bamagirl: no I haven't.
bamagirl: media again
bamagirl: look, I hate talking politics and I am not sure how we got on the subject to begin with
bamagirl: i just came to see what you people talk about when you get together
Jeb_Thurmond: Let me put it this way, you won't find many unions in Sierra Leone!
bamagirl: apparently nothing exciting
Jeb_Thurmond: Okay Bamagirl, let's talk about your favorite subject
bamagirl: well we dont live there. we live here
Jeb_Thurmond: What's your favorite subject?
bamagirl: and here we have a government that has checks and balances
bamagirl: at least for now
bamagirl: horses
Jeb_Thurmond: Oh yeah, they have great meat in them. Too expensive
most of the time, though
bamagirl: yeah taco bell serves grade F meat. horse meat
bamagirl: hooves and tendons
bamagirl: jello
Jeb_Thurmond: Except when there's a disease scare, like foot and mouth disease, or that mad cow thing
bamagirl: still like them anyway
bamagirl: to ride, look at, eat
bamagirl: feed to my dogs...
bamagirl: whatever
bamagirl: you won't offend me or horrify me with talk about eating horses
bamagirl: or babies
Jeb_Thurmond: Grade F? Stupid government meat inspecters. what do they know?
bamagirl: mad COW not mad horse
RaptuAIRe: you were horrified at the idea of killing babies but you don't mind eating them???
bamagirl: i never said I was horrified. I just said you were insane
bamagirl: and disgusting
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bamagirl: and eating babies that are dead is not the same as killing them
bamagirl: and i am sure at some point in time there were babies that were eaten in an effort to stay alive
bamagirl: and that does not horrify me either
Prayerforever: GLORY!
bamagirl: it is natural to want to survive at any cost
Jeb_Thurmond: Yeah, eating babies is a common punishment inflicted by God upon his followers when they stray.
Prayerforever: yeah
bamagirl: i see
bamagirl: so do they have to eat babies? are they someone else's or their own? Or do they have to watch someone else eat theirs?
bamagirl: I was raised Baptist, so don't lie
Jeb_Thurmond: Eating one's own babies, that is. Eating ground-up fetuses from an abortion clinic is just a low-cost alternative to the overpriced fast food joints
bamagirl: yeah that guy was shut down. pity
bamagirl: good alternative to having to pay someone for clean up
Jeb_Thurmond:
Levitcus 26:14 But if ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments; 15 And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: ... 29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
bamagirl: so what if it is a married couple?
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Jeb_Thurmond:
Deuteronomy 28:15 But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee: ... 53 And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters
RaptuAIRe: GLORY! Such inspiring scriptures!
Jeb_Thurmond: So anyway, I'm thinking we could have an illustrated Song of Solomon article, which we advertise far and wide. it will bring sinners to Jesus like flies to Baamgirls' loins!
Prayerforever: Oh my GOD! Just turned on the TV after few days an guess what is on? Pure porn! I think I should get rid of the TV at all.
Jeb_Thurmond: Other than Fox news and the 700 club there's no reason to have a TV at all.
RaptuAIRe: Jeb, that thread sounds like a good idea!
Prayerforever: so disgusting yuck
Matt: Oh GLORY!
Jeb_Thurmond: Yes, I'm thinking of the details right now. It will have to be softcore, of course
RaptuAIRe: Song of Solomon is an inspiring scripture
RaptuAIRe: yeah
Prayerforever: Not just porn! LESBIAN PORN!
Prayerforever: thats it
Prayerforever: TV goes to bin
Matt: *GASP*
Matt: drown it
Jeb_Thurmond: I suppose we could go aroudn posting at sinner's forums, with "OMG WTF ROTFLLMAO CHRISTIAN PR0N!!1111" and a link to the thread. It would result in legions of potential converts.
Matt: LOL
Matt: Sounds like a plan Jeb
Prayerforever: true Brother jeb
Prayerforever: I know few
Prayerforever: google word forums and many comes up
RaptuAIRe: JESUS loves us
Matt: he really does
Prayerforever: And we love JESUS!
RaptuAIRe: HIS love is so strong for us
RaptuAIRe: that if we don't do every single thing HE tells us to do, HE sends us straight to hell! GLORY!
Jeb_Thurmond: Like I said, it will bring sinners to Christ's blood like flies to Bamagirl's slimey, pulsating hell-hole
Matt: yuck
Prayerforever:
RaptuAIRe: yes it will
Jeb_Thurmond: Ug, i have to get that image out of my mind. Ug,, too much flirting today
Prayerforever: ( o )( o )
RaptuAIRe: what is that supposed to be?
Prayerforever: eyes what else?
Matt: I hope that eyeballs
Jeb_Thurmond: I know, I'll google image search for "Song of Solomon" and see if there are already images for us to use
Matt: ah
RaptuAIRe: ok, good
BibleThumpinBlonde: BROTHER PRAYER there are Christain women in here
BibleThumpinBlonde: ( * )( * )
Matt: I was looking for a recipe for spagetti for church and I got some demonic flying monster.
Prayerforever: Sister BTB and what do Christian women has against eyes?
RaptuAIRe: *GASP* you offended Sister Thumper and just a couple of hours ago I cleaned my eyes out with bull urine and chlorine
RaptuAIRe: today's too much
BibleThumpinBlonde: nothing, I miss read it
BibleThumpinBlonde: poor Brother Rap
Prayerforever:
BibleThumpinBlonde: my sincerest appologies
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RaptuAIRe: Bro. V! GLORY to GOD!
Prayerforever: Hello Brother V!
BibleThumpinBlonde: Good Afternoon Brother V
Jeb_Thurmond: Wow, I googled searched for Song of Solomon images but hardly anything showed up. I suppose I'll have to consult the box of confiscated smut in the security room
VGRID101: hi all
RaptuAIRe: Jeb, I think the liebral Christians sometimes call it "Song of Songs"
BibleThumpinBlonde: please excuse me for a moment
Jeb_Thurmond: I googled that too, a bit more images, but nothing useful
VGRID101: useful???
VGRID101: heheh
Jeb_Thurmond: Yeah, I'm thinking an illustrated Song of Solomon might be just the thing to bring potential converts into Christ's forum
Jeb_Thurmond: V HOW DARE YOU THINK WHAT I THINK YOU WERE THINKING!
Here's my final message to Bamagirl:
Bamagirl, I know you don't like talking about politics, but nobody likes to continue a debate which they have lost. Well, you may have lost the debate, but you have not yet lost your soul, (assuming that the rapture has not occured by the time you're reading this).
LBC, while a True American™ Republican Church, could also be interpreted as libertarian. After all, we never initiate force against anybody, it's always God initiating the force, with us merely as His humble tools. Also, there is sometimes suicide, such as when gays commit suicide using Landover Baptists as their tools. The Bible states this clearly where it says gays "shall be put to death, their blood shall be upon them" - that is, it's their fault that they're dead, so in short their homosexual activity is not only an abonmation, it's also suicide.
BAMbamthankyoumAMAGIRL defines Libertarianism as "I should be able to love, marry, worship, work, and play how I want."
That's not the definition, however. If I want to "play as I want" and the game I want to play is "flap my arms and fly around the sun" I'm not able to play that game. Is it illegal? No. It's just that the gravity, and the laws of physics, hold me back. And who wrote the laws of physics? God did. Thus, in the libertarian paradise of True Christian™ America, there will still be laws, but they will just be the laws of physics: action: jump off a cliff. Reaction: you fall. Action: you commit adomnations. Reaction: you have forced someone to neutralize you.
When America becomes a True Christian™ nation, there will be no laws enforced by man, only sins, punished by God using His humble tools, which will usually be private security companies, private militias, and well-armed pastors. Of course, there will be kings (King George and King Richard) but they will also only be tools of the King of Kings, our Lord Jesus.
BAM-bam-thank-youmAMAGIRL may be partly on her way to Salvation™, but can she really make it to the finish line before the rapture sweeps the lambs of Christ away? Her commitment to libertarianism is obviously wavering, she hasn't even heard of the death tax, and has some weird statist opinions, like believing that it was right that my restaurant be shut down, "though they should keep their noses out of it"? Huh? If their nose was not in, they would not have smelt the roadkilled skunk meat and I would not have been shut down.
Also, she seems to think of guns as some sort of toy, rather than the only thing standing between law-abiding citizens and an orgy of crime and tyranny. She should take a look at gun control nations like Canada and Europe: every one of them a dictatorship with violent crime rates 10 times that of America. I still can't get the images out of my mind during that horrible missionary attempt I made at Denmark and Sweden: the starved corpses lying dead in the gutter, the hollow eyes of the near-dead malnurished children, not even with enough energy to beg me for food scraps. Yes, visiting the hell-holes that are the "social democrat" nations will teach her to take politics more seriously